Deciding what to do after break up

Daisy_Anne

My partner and I have recently split up. We are not married and have shared the cost of the home since we bought it 4.5 years ago. With the current financial climate I am unsure what to do in terms of who takes on the home. He has given me first offer of the house and he will buy me out if I don’t want to take it on. I would need to take on additional borrowings to the mortgage to pay him out and just don’t know if a) if I decide to do that is it better to do it asap before the interest rate increase; b) is it likely that house prices are going to fall a bit leaving me having given him more money than I will get back, so is it better to wait a while but risk higher interest rates or c) is it better than I just let him take on the house and move back to my parents house and wait for something next year? 

I know there is a lot of unknowns in that but trying to think about this with what has been in the media over the last few days on top of heartbreak is really so hard right now. 

Thanks

RM_2013

Sorry to hear you find yourself in this position.  Many years ago I split with my ex husband and he wanted to buy me out - I couldn’t afford to run the house on my own was quite young and moved back with my parents. 

At the time house prices hadn’t changed much so we had no real equity in the house so through solicitors dealing with the divorce they agree a sum he paid me in settlement (I had made a contribution towards our initial deposit from my savings when we bought the house). I then signed over the house and mortgage on his sole name.
how long have you had the house? Did you put a large deposit when you bought? Has the house value increased? 

These might be things to consider.  It might be worth getting some legal advice as to how best to proceed.
hope all works out for you 

Retireby40

Stop worrying about if houses will fall or rise. Nobody will know and one year they may rise only to fall again. If it worked out that the price changed and affected him negatively you wouldn't be offering to give him money back a year or two down the line.

If you are unsure you could manage the payments etc let him buy you out and move on.

It gives you peace of mind and leaves less worry. The last thing you need after a break up is the stress of trying to run a house on your own and stretching yourself beyond your limits.

MFWannabe

Daisy_Anne said:

My partner and I have recently split up. We are not married and have shared the cost of the home since we bought it 4.5 years ago. With the current financial climate I am unsure what to do in terms of who takes on the home. He has given me first offer of the house and he will buy me out if I don’t want to take it on. I would need to take on additional borrowings to the mortgage to pay him out and just don’t know if a) if I decide to do that is it better to do it asap before the interest rate increase; b) is it likely that house prices are going to fall a bit leaving me having given him more money than I will get back, so is it better to wait a while but risk higher interest rates or c) is it better than I just let him take on the house and move back to my parents house and wait for something next year? 

I know there is a lot of unknowns in that but trying to think about this with what has been in the media over the last few days on top of heartbreak is really so hard right now. 

Thanks

Are you able to buy him out and take on the house yourself? If not then let him buy you out and move on 

Racky_Roo

Sometimes it's nicer to have a clear break and buy something different. Years ago, I bought my ex out of our house and despite redecorating, it always felt like our house. Ended up selling a few years later.
On the plus side, it's a lot less stressful and quicker if things are civil, to buy him out than go through a purchase.

SuseOrm

Id sell it, split and both start afresh personally 

Catriona_P

When I split with my ex husband back in 2015, neither of us could afford to buy the other out so selling was the only option. I went into rented accommodation for about 18 months before I was in a suitable headspace to be able to deal with the pressure that house buying can be. Bought a nice little place on my own and have been happy since, despite it being a step down on the property market.

A breakup can be horrible on your mental health so my advice would be to forget the worries about interest rates etc in the future that nobody can predict anyway, and deal with your life now. If you can't realistically afford the house on your own (and you need to be realistic about that, head not heart), then let him buy you out and if you can move back in with your parents for a bit, great. I'm assuming you will have some money from the house sale if the house has gained value in that time - if so, put that money in a high interest account until you want to look at house buying again.

caprikid1

Personally , move on, remove the memories , take the cash , fresh start.

jonnydeppiwish!

SuseOrm said:

Id sell it, split and both start afresh personally 

Why? Both of them want to buy but the op is unsure if they can afford. If they force a sale then it’s possible it could turn into an acrimonious split and cost a lot more.
It’s cheaper, simpler and possible involves a lot less time if one or the other buy out.

Daisy_Anne

Thanks guys, I can afford it how things are now and even with an increase, but it’s going to be a complete change of lifestyle probably in terms of money I would have spent on holidays etc. I am in a better monthly financial situation but he way we’ll be able to get his family to help him. So it’s swings and roundabouts in terms of either of us actually being able to, it’s just in terms of future set up I don’t want to leave myself too stretched or lose money. We are amicable so I’m not trying to do him out or anything, just want to make sure I’m making the best decision. Buying him out will wipe all of my savings that I worked hard to build up, which again is a bit scary when the cost of everything seems to be going up. 

Retireby40

Daisy_Anne said:

Thanks guys, I can afford it how things are now and even with an increase, but it’s going to be a complete change of lifestyle probably in terms of money I would have spent on holidays etc. I am in a better monthly financial situation but he way we’ll be able to get his family to help him. So it’s swings and roundabouts in terms of either of us actually being able to, it’s just in terms of future set up I don’t want to leave myself too stretched or lose money. We are amicable so I’m not trying to do him out or anything, just want to make sure I’m making the best decision. Buying him out will wipe all of my savings that I worked hard to build up, which again is a bit scary when the cost of everything seems to be going up. 

Buying him out will provide you with a home, you obviously like, in an area you obviously like and will mean you don't have to go back to living with parents.

Forget holidays for the time being and forget this idea of losing money or house prices dropping and you having paid him, for example, the value of say 150k and 6 months later the house is worth 130k. If you have no intention of selling that house or moving away the short term price swing isn't that important.