Feel so bad.

pebbleblue

I dont really know why Im posting this, I think I just want to write it down, Its a bit late for advice, and although some people will think we did the right thing I'm sure some will think there was an alternative. We had our 8 and a half yr old Westie put to sleep on saturday. I'd had him since he was 7 weeks old, he had always been a bit aggressive and unpredictable, but he was a character and we loved him. About 6 yrs ago his behaviour got worse, when we went out of the house he would scatch at the carpets and doors till they were shredded, when we went to bed he did the same, the only thing that changed was my now partner had moved in with us. I assumed he was jealous and made excuses for him. He growled and snapped at nearly everyone that came into our house, my excuse was he was being protective. 18 months ago we moved house, within a week he had bitten my daughters foot quite badly, my excuse for him this time was it was all strange and new to him ( she was 11 at the time and was trying to stop him getting to the front door were some of my other daughters friends where.He was growling etc) We moved again after 6months to the house we now live, He cried and barked all night,I know it was all strange to him moving again. and thats what my reasoning was. I spoke to someone who does dog behaviour and he told me to try various things, which i did, He seemed to think the problem was he had always been the boss and got his own way. He was right. But by being soft and loving him regardless I created an uncontrolable dog. Thoughout this last year he became more and more grumpy, then last week when my 2 middle children were runnung around he bit my daughters foot again, leaving it marked and bruised. My excuse this time was they shouldn't have been running around, then on friday he bit my little boy. He's 2 and a half, he was eating cake and the next thing I knew the dog had his foot in his mouth and my son was screaming, he broke the skin both underneath and on top his foot. Even though I was in the same room I'm not 100% sure what happened, It was all so fast, and unexpected tbh. He's has been grouchy with him before but nothing to make me feel he would actually bite him. I was so shocked and upset. I knew at that moment I couldn't make excuses for him any longer. In the past I always blamed the other kids, theyre older 16, 14 and 12, but i really couldnt defend him this time. I was scared next time he might bite his face or something. I spoke to the vet who told us at his age he was virtually unretrainable, he said we'd have a hard job rehoming him because he was so aggressive ( I would've hated to think he might get mistreated or passed about anyway), and the best thing was to have him put down. I know the choice I made was the best one for my kids and at the end of the day they must come first, but I feel so sick and empty inside he was a part of my life for so long and the house is so quiet. As i said, no real point to the post I just need to write it down
Thanks if you got this far.

jackieb

I'm sorry. You know you did the right thing, however hard it seems right now.

JCR

I feel for you, I really do. I have a golden retriever who has the same sort of problems in the past he has only bitten me in response to me trying to get something away from him. Last week however, he bit my nephew (16) and I have been making excuses but at 2 and a half I am still hoping that he can be stopped.

I know it must be hard and you feel awful but you did have to protect your children and maybe in time you could think of getting another one.

Sola

As hard as it is, I think you made the right decision based on the vet's advice. My sister had her middle-aged Scottie put to sleep when he suddenly turned on her daughter and savaged her face; when the vet did an autopsy it turned out he had a brain tumour which they believe had affected his behaviour.

I'd leave off getting another dog until your youngest is older.

skintmostofthetime

Been there, done it, felt bloody awful, cried my eyes out for days, refused to go home - had to in the end but didn't want to, can't type more - crying too much. Pathetic but true - you did right thing & I'll bet he was ill.
Time does heal but it sure takes along time - and I've lost 3.

relay

It is tragic that you were aware from 2 years old there were behavioural issues with the dog yet seem not to have addressed them & excused his behaviour. (i am not saying that to make you feel bad by the way.)

I think there is a cautionary tale in this very sad story - any dog can bite.

Only yesterday my Rottweiler was attacked by the most aggressive Border Terrier i have ever come accross in my life - he launched at her while she was minding her own business walking beside me in the park & chased her relentlessly while his owners gave me a half baked apology and told me he was just 'playing'.

I rather sarcastically remarked how well socialized thier dog was & made sure they knew how p!$$ed off i was about it. If i am honest it made me very angry because if i allowed my Rottweiler to behave that way in public i would have been prosecuted & could have lost my dog, but when it's a small dog all too often people excuse thier behaviour as if it's somehow acceptable.

I have spent hundreds of pounds taking my dog to training school 2 times a week for her 1st year, now i am seeing a behaviourist to further make sure my dog will never be a menace in public. I pay for all of this on my benefits before anyone says they can't afford dog training by the way.

It does sadden me that dogs as well behaved as mine always get the bad reputation while all around us there are small dogs practically getting away with murder just because of thier size.

I hope you can see the good in your dogs life & not write yourself off as a good owner - one day you may feel ready for a new dog but this time you will know the signs when something is not quite right & invest in the right training to prevent future problems.

The reality is that any dog can fall foul of the dangerous dogs act & as owners we all have a duty to do everything we can to make sure our dogs do not harass the public regardless of how small the dog might be.

pebbleblue

Thanks for all your replies. I know I should have dealt with the problem years ago, he was always grumpy, even as a pup, just got gradually worse about 6 yrs ago, I think thats what makes me feel so bad. The fact I should have took control and addressed the situation yrs ago instead of making excuses for him, maybe then this could have been avoided. tbh i think he was just grumpy by nature, but maybe it would have just stopped at a growl.
Maybe he was ill, I dont know, he had quite a bad ear infection a few months ago which resulted in a lot of trips to the vets, when he had to stay in for swabs and his ear shringed even the nurses commented on how grumpy he was, luckily he didnt actually bite any of them.
I cant even think about getting another dog right now ( as much as I would love one to fill the emptiness) it would seem so disloyal, as though he never meant anything and was easily replaced.
I know from the replies some of you have been in the same or a similar situation, and I'm sorry you had to feel how I'm feeling right now.
If we ever do get another dog I will make sure it is properly trained and knows the bounderies. I dont ever want to feel like this again.Once again thanks for the replies.

elsien

Like the previous posters said, even if you start early with the training, with some dogs it's still not always possible to treat aggression problems - sometimes there might be a reason that you can't treat.
My dog has to wear a muzzle while out, and although she usually behaves herself with me, I couldn't ever leave her in the same room as a child, even if supervised, and I've spent a fortune on dog training.
Don't beat yourself up about it, it's bad enough to lose a pet without feeling guilty. All you can do is what you think is best at the time, which is what you've done. We all live and learn, maybe things would have been different if you'd started earlier, maybe they wouldn't - you can't second guess - hope you feel better about things soon.

speranza

I hope you don't get another pet. You said yourself you should have dealt with the problem a long time ago *and* that the dog might have been ill. While I agree you can't have your kids be in danger, I think you didn't take the responsibility you had to your dog seriously at all and it would be very wrong of you to get another animal that you'll just have put to sleep when it doesn't behave the way you want it to and you can't be bothered addressing the issue.

pebbleblue

speranza wrote: »

I hope you don't get another pet. You said yourself you should have dealt with the problem a long time ago *and* that the dog might have been ill. While I agree you can't have your kids be in danger, I think you didn't take the responsibility you had to your dog seriously at all and it would be very wrong of you to get another animal that you'll just have put to sleep when it doesn't behave the way you want it to and you can't be bothered addressing the issue.

Whilst you're entitled to your opinion I feel I must point out when I said my dog might have been ill, I was refering to an earlier post where someone said after their sisters dog snapped and was put to sleep an autopsy showed a brain tumor. Although hind sight is a great thing and yes he should have been properly trained, I think being guilty of being too soft and spoiling him hardly shows I didnt take the responsibility serious. And as far as having put to sleep when he didnt behave how I wanted.. I feel this is also a little unfair..His growling or destroying of the carpets and doors wasnt the issue. It was the fact he bit my son. As I said your entitled to your opinion, and I'm sure their are lots of people that would agree with what you have written, tbh if I wasn't in the situation myself I would probably even agreed with you. As i said.. hind sights a wonderful thing!

WeirdoMagnet

Sorry to had to have your dog PTS pebbleblue. It is never an easy decision to make, whatever the circumstances.

So many things can affect a dogs behaviour, that without knowing your dog, it's impossible for anyone to comment. You said he'd always been "a bit aggressive and unpredictable", so it could have been genetic, or the way he was treated by the breeder, and there were probably other triggers and the house moves that upset him some way and exacerbated his behaviour.

Again, without knowing you or your dog, no-one can really pass opinion on why your dog behaved like he did. However, you may be interested to know that the theory where you have to be pack leader (commonly known as Dominance Theory), be in charge of your dog, him be bottom of the pack; where you walk through doors before your dog, eat before your dog etc etc, is now thought to be flawed. It's more about being consistent and training your dog what is required of it, and realising what the reasons/triggers are and managing the situation (dog/kids/household) and training the dog appropriately.

Georgie