Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friend pay his ex back for the phone she got him as a gift?

DigForVictory

Bendy_House said:

It was a gift.

So, for max dignity, and to finalise the breakup, I think my advice to such a friend would be to wipe it, return it, and move on.

This. Both gift & dignity - as style and grace are far too rare in these painful situations.

Pollycat

He should text her (on his gifted phone) this:

gift

[ɡɪft]

NOUN

1. a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present:

Lin30

Absolutely not - It was a gift

MUFCMAD10

Theres absolutely no way he should hand it back OR pay her the cash. it was a gift pure and simple. The fact it cost a lot of money is tough. The fact he's offered to hand it back is more than I would do to be honest and fair play to him for offering, but for me it would be a simple no no. I can say in all my life of dating I have NEVER (and wouldnt now) ask for a present back. The fact is this sounds like a bad break up is again irrelevant IMO, these things are what they are, the lesson here is dont give expensive gifts if you're not 100% sure you can afford it or think the relationship will last. Imagine asking for a gift back... what world.  

littlemadam

She choose to by him the phone, and gift it to him for his birthday, therefore she isn’t entitled to it back.
Hes offered it to her back but she doesn’t want it but wants the cash says to me that she could t afford it in the first place.
He needs to cut all ties and tell her to do one

primrose_penguin

I agree with what most people have said, he does not owe her for the phone, it was a gift and is now second hand so not worth the £600 she is asking for it. It sounds as if there is a lot of bitterness there, for whatever reason. I think your friend should wipe the phone, pack it up securely, pop a note in explaining, and send it back special delivery, making sure it is covered by insurance because of the price of it, (I think that is provided by the post office for a charge) and absolute proof of postage, with a signature of receipt, (I would think that will be automatic sending it this way), so she cannot say she hasn't received it, don't just put it through her door. His ex can then sell it if she wishes and he won't feel uncomfortable keeping something he probably doesn't want, which is causing unpleasantness at the moment.

LP53

She could be paying finance for it so that’s up to your friend if he wants to pay the remaining or give the phone back but never the less it was a gift so that’s entirely up to him. I really don’t think people should ask for gifts back after a breakup it’s very childish. 

I’d say it’s the phone back or nothing as she chose to buy it your friend didn’t ask for it.

cindycoles

No, he is not obligated to buy the phone she gifted him. She has already enjoyed the rewards of giving. Perhaps he could give it back and suggest she sell it herself, if that makes him feel better.

REJP

Wipe the details off phone, remove SIM card and send it back as previously suggested by insured post or recorded delivery.
no need to call the woman a "cow" in this forum please.
Break ups are not nice, but a fact of life.   No point going back over things he gave her in the past or other things from her.   If we all did that we would have lists of things to reclaim!
As hinted by others, we don't know what caused the break up and it is not wise to try guessing the reasons.
I don't think he should pay her for a gift, he has already offered to return it.    If she rubbishes him to friends about it I suspect she will lose some of those friends who see the situation as most people on this forum have seen it and she will end up losing respect.

Hawkeye1982

I agree with all the other comments on here. It was a gift and he offered to give it back. That is something he didn't have to do but probably was the right thing to do. It is bitter and entitled of her to ask for the money, If I was your friend I would give her back the phone and never contact her again.