I just feel so alone...

sheramber

Send an email asking if anybody is still wanting to go out on the Saturday/?

You donlt say how many are in the group but only two have cried off.

tightauldgit

Abbafan1972 said:

Sorry I have been silent for a while, but thought I would revisit this thread.

Thank you for all the comments - I will go over them again. 

@josephine82 there is a parkrun not far from me.  I will need to look at the website in more detail to see when the next one is.  

I know there is a local walking group on Facebook, but I have difficulty with that, as the walks are always on weekday mornings at about 10 (I work). 

I go to 2 weekly groups on a Wednesday and a Thursday.  The Thursday one is Slimming Word.  I know a lady there who lives on the same road as me and we always sit together and chat and find that we can talk about personal stuff and have a laugh.  I tend to find with SW, you meet someone there and get friendly with them, they attend for a few weeks and then disappear. 
The other group I go to on a Wednesday is something completely different and everyone that attends is lovely, and the group leader I can talk to about anything - she sometimes organises other events as well as the Wednesday one, if it's something that interests me. She even said last night that she sees us all as family, which is lovely.

The person that introduced me to this group, I met at Slimming World and now she now longer attends this group or the Wednesday group that she introduced me to.  She had an operation and has been recovering and has been saying about us meeting up for a meal when she's recovered and can drive again, but that time has passed and nothing.  Her last message to me was on the 21st April, saying she will contact me "next weekend but nothing".  I sent her a Whatsapp message last night asking if she was ok and if I don't get any joy from this, I'm going to chalk it up to experience and just not bother messaging her again.  I do get tired of being the one that has to do all the chasing.  I like to ask how people are, but no-one ever contacts me and asks me how I am!

Now let me get onto work colleagues - everyone is lovely and we all work from home.  There is an option to work from the office, but you have to book a desk in advance, which is not a problem.  On a recent Teams meeting (we have one every week), we discussed a meet up and our manager asked if we, am would like a day in the office or a social event like a meal, which would be on a Saturday.  Nobody wanted to go into the office and we agreed that a social event it would be (I am not bothered either way - I don't mind going into the office).  My colleagues are always very vocal saying they don't like going into the office.  One of the girls arranged a Saturday in May for us all to go bowling and food afterwards and after a few emails back and forth that was agreed.  Then all of a sudden one of the girls said she'd double booked for the date we'd arranged and wouldn't it be better to go into the office and have an extended lunch?  (We get 45 mins for lunch and can only really extend it up to an hour, so no time to go anywhere, it would just be sitting in the office break room or the cafe on the ground floor, if there's any seats).  In response to that email, another girl said "yes I would prefer to go into the office as well".  After that email we've just left it now and no-one has come back with anything else.  I take it now the Saturday we've arrange is now off. Seriously, you can't bloomin' win!  Either you want to go into the office or you don't. 

Rant over, lol.

If its any consolation your life sounds like a hive of activity and social interaction compared to mine. I work alone, live alone, my last remaining family is at the opposite end of the country, and I'm not really very socially minded so I pretty much just wander through life by myself. I've found my happiness in travelling and seeing the world and other than that I really don't go out or interact with the world that much at all. 

Not quite sure what my point is other than to say, don't feel like you're the only one in this kind of position and try to focus on doing things that bring you happiness even if other people don't want to join in. I appreciate that you want and miss the social aspect of things and I know that's a big deal but don't be afraid to go and do things by yourself - once you get over the self-conscious hump there's a lot of enjoyment to be had.    

Abbafan1972

sheramber said:

Send an email asking if anybody is still wanting to go out on the Saturday/?

You donlt say how many are in the group but only two have cried off.

Well there are 8 in the team. 1 doesn’t officially work in our department, they just help us out in the mornings. But out of all the social events we’ve arranged, they have only come to 1 and was one of the people that said let’s just go into the office. Most of the events, there have been 6 of us as there’s another colleague who always manages to come up with an excuse not to come. 

Our last teams meeting on Thursday morning was very short and sweet and nothing was mentioned, as our proposed date was 20th May. 

retiringtoosoon

Perhaps people don’t want to socialise with work colleagues /shrug
i wouldn’t! I have a job to earn money, and have little interest in Karen from accounts

Abbafan1972

Each to their own but I think it’s nice to see each other, as we don’t go into office. If we “saw” each other every day, then my opinion might be different. 

From my earlier post, my friend that had the operation I have now managed to arrange something with her. 

RAS

Abbafan1972 said:

From my earlier post, my friend that had the operation I have now managed to arrange something with her. 

That's good. Hope you enjoy it.

Re work, I agree that when you don't work together meeting in person every so often is a good idea. And you may not need  scheduled time if you saw one another in the office.

I personally hate the multiple Christmas do situation when you work with people daily. An occasional informal get together and lunch with one or two colleagues on an ad hoc basis was my preferred pattern rather than something for every birthday.

But I'm also one of those who can go off on my own on holiday and enjoy it. 

Abbafan1972

I agree yes, doing things by yourself is good as you don’t have to please anyone except yourself.