Grievance query

elsien

If your restructure involves no loss of jobs then it's not going to be a redundancy situation is it? If there's an equivalent job for you to move to if you don't keep your own then there's no obligation on them to offer you a redundancy payout. 

Emmia

Personally I'd have left long before it got to the stage of involving the Union (I'm a member of one, but involving them has marked you as "difficult"). Also, in case you've not realised... HR aren't there for you, they're there for your employer.

In your shoes I'd be head down, doing the absolute minimum to deliver my work and working on my escape.

AliceBanned

elsien said:

If your restructure involves no loss of jobs then it's not going to be a redundancy situation is it? If there's an equivalent job for you to move to if you don't keep your own then there's no obligation on them to offer you a redundancy payout. 

We haven’t seen the details yet. Given everything that’s happened I’m trying to do what I can to resolve and it may mean leaving somehow.

AliceBanned

Fair enough but that easier said than done when you’ve had to suffer and lost energy and confidence. I can’t just walk because of my mortgage that’s often the crux in bullying situations. Obviously long term I can leave but it’s complex when the damage has been done. 

josephine82

OP I’ve been in a situation that while not quite the same as yours, still was a bad experience and was on the end of some bad treatment. I stayed for longer than I should have- after I moved into a job where I was treated with respect I wondered why I didn’t move jobs sooner. 

I know that there is a fear about your confidence and self belief ie to get another job but if you try to put some of that aside and reflect on what you’ve achieved in your role then this should help you apply for other roles. 

I hope you realize your own self worth and that you deserve to be somewhere where you get treated well. Life is too short to stay somewhere where you are miserable. 

AliceBanned

josephine82 said:

OP I’ve been in a situation that while not quite the same as yours, still was a bad experience and was on the end of some bad treatment. I stayed for longer than I should have- after I moved into a job where I was treated with respect I wondered why I didn’t move jobs sooner. 

I know that there is a fear about your confidence and self belief ie to get another job but if you try to put some of that aside and reflect on what you’ve achieved in your role then this should help you apply for other roles. 

I hope you realize your own self worth and that you deserve to be somewhere where you get treated well. Life is too short to stay somewhere where you are miserable. 

Thank you Josephine. I fear that it won’t be any better somewhere new but I can’t know that. So I guess on some level I’m not sure I deserve better but need to try. When I stop feeling exhausted.

AliceBanned

elsien said:

AliceBanned said:

Ps colleague I spoke to yesterday said a solicitor could support me if things get worse. The union seemed to me to be in cahoots with HR, and my colleague thinks so too. V bad!!! At one stage I phoned the National union office and described the events. Union rep suddenly very responsive and supportive towards me and chatted for an hour. But he’s not truly on my side, he was in the room witnessing bullying and did nothing! That made me feel let down the most and really threatened and scared. Finding these colleague allies is better and we enjoy each other’s company too. 

Some unions reps are useless. But I think you need to try to keep a sense of proportion here as well otherwise you’re going to start telling yourself that everyone has it in for you. The union rep may be floundering slightly, or they may be seeing things differently to you. Either way seeing them as being hand in hand with HR isn’t particularly hekpful.
And in what way does your colleague think that a solicitor could be helpful? They don’t have the right to be present in proceedings in the same way that a union rep might. And going legal while in post is likely to really make management not want to touch you with a barge pole.
If your colleague thinks a solicitor is a good idea, should they not be going that route themselves? There is always a risk that colleagues are waiting to see how things go for you before deciding on their own path and tactics. 

Thanks Elsien thinking about it he is prejudiced against unions, his comments about one being ‘scruffy’ is enough to tell me that. Everyone has their agenda so I do need to try to keep it all in perspective I agree.

Savvy_Sue

Undervalued said:

Think very carefully before instructing a solicitor privately. It is your right but the moment you do your union will withdraw representation.

This. 

But if you're determined to do this, check whether you have legal cover through your house or car insurance policy. 

josephine82

AliceBanned said:

josephine82 said:

OP I’ve been in a situation that while not quite the same as yours, still was a bad experience and was on the end of some bad treatment. I stayed for longer than I should have- after I moved into a job where I was treated with respect I wondered why I didn’t move jobs sooner. 

I know that there is a fear about your confidence and self belief ie to get another job but if you try to put some of that aside and reflect on what you’ve achieved in your role then this should help you apply for other roles. 

I hope you realize your own self worth and that you deserve to be somewhere where you get treated well. Life is too short to stay somewhere where you are miserable. 

Thank you Josephine. I fear that it won’t be any better somewhere new but I can’t know that. So I guess on some level I’m not sure I deserve better but need to try. When I stop feeling exhausted.

You definitely do deserve better! And you have the experience of knowing what isn’t a good situation to inform you going forward to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. 

Honestly I’ve been in your situation and had my self esteem and self belief completely crushed by someone, but it is possible to get past it and realise your self worth. 

Perhaps when you have taken some time to rest and recover you could spend some time assessing your skills, experience and achievements, reflect on what you’ve achieved in your career to date and try to see past the negative experience to try and help you get that confidence to apply elsewhere. 

Remember making an application is just the first step to a new role. You get to assess a new future job in the same way that someone will assess you at interview. 

You can do it! 

AliceBanned

josephine82 said:

AliceBanned said:

josephine82 said:

OP I’ve been in a situation that while not quite the same as yours, still was a bad experience and was on the end of some bad treatment. I stayed for longer than I should have- after I moved into a job where I was treated with respect I wondered why I didn’t move jobs sooner. 

I know that there is a fear about your confidence and self belief ie to get another job but if you try to put some of that aside and reflect on what you’ve achieved in your role then this should help you apply for other roles. 

I hope you realize your own self worth and that you deserve to be somewhere where you get treated well. Life is too short to stay somewhere where you are miserable. 

Thank you Josephine. I fear that it won’t be any better somewhere new but I can’t know that. So I guess on some level I’m not sure I deserve better but need to try. When I stop feeling exhausted.

You definitely do deserve better! And you have the experience of knowing what isn’t a good situation to inform you going forward to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. 

Honestly I’ve been in your situation and had my self esteem and self belief completely crushed by someone, but it is possible to get past it and realise your self worth. 

Perhaps when you have taken some time to rest and recover you could spend some time assessing your skills, experience and achievements, reflect on what you’ve achieved in your career to date and try to see past the negative experience to try and help you get that confidence to apply elsewhere. 

Remember making an application is just the first step to a new role. You get to assess a new future job in the same way that someone will assess you at interview. 

You can do it! 

Thanks Josephine, your words are much needed. I am working with a counsellor and a career mentor but I think I do need recovery first 😕. I don’t know because I haven’t been so badly affected by anything at work before but I did nothing wrong and am still suffering so shouldn’t just carry on and not put myself first.

incidentally this manager left a snide comment on the team WhatsApp yesterday (a day after she left the organisation) ‘some of you will be missed’. This was sent from ex line manager to the team.🙈🤷‍♀️😳. We know who we are that won’t be missed. Honestly she can’t help herself! So intrusive and affected my weekend. Her manager is in the group but won’t bother, will think it’s trivial as it didn’t happen to him.