NST September 2022 Picture yourself on a boat on a canal

lcc86

Hi Turtles, it's been a while but can I join this month? Have let myself get off the straight and narrow and accrued about £800 in debt, mainly on frivolous stuff although part of it is a vet bill as well. Would like to get most/all of it clear by the new year.

Start a new job this month, although it's somewhere I've worked before so doesn't feel "new" to me. It will massively cut down my commuting costs. I also have to sort out some paperwork for a second job I'm hoping to start soon.

I need to post on here to keep myself accountable and stop wasting money on nonsense. I definitely don't need any clothing or anything like that, I've bought far too much recently and if anything I need a declutter. There are a couple of small purchases I know I need to make this month but I need to get back on track!

Today I bought a diffuser gift set for OH's mum's birthday but that was my only spend.

f0xh0les

Ahoy lcc ! 

pollyanna_26

f0xh0les said:

What did you do at the weekend @firsview ?  Well,  we dumped a couple of bodies on the moors, and ran away before we were spotted,  then realised we needed a new circular saw blade....    no really, we did!!

This gave me the shivers. For many years we would pass the moors murders site driving further up north. No exaggeration the air would turn icy cold and we'd all shiver. We used to visit a nearby restaurant for a hot drink and something to eat. Lovely place with good food and swans outside on a lake. No idea if it's still there. The hottest drink didn't warm us up but coninuing our journey things would begin to normalise. There was a heavy feeling of evil near the moors.

Years later I got to know a local man in this area.  He kept bees on nearby farmland and knowing I had a few types of Arthritis and also Fibro he brought me a jar of his organic honey to try. Really lovely and did help/ He, his wife and I became friends.

After a while I found out he was a male mental health nurse one of those keeping an eye on Brady who was locked away in Ashworth for life.

Still evil and vindictive. My friend said he could feel the evil spewing out constantly. Always felt cold until he finished his shift.

Talking to the offspring one day I said they could dump me in the Irish sea just a short walk away to save burial costs.

A lot of secrecy when Brady died. Supposed to be secret but he;d had a secret buriel one night in a weighted urn on this stretch of coast.

Told the offspring right take me to Scotland or Yorkshire buy an old boat off a fisherman and set it on fire and give me a viking funeral.

Silly to try to keep it secret. Lots of police in the middle of the night. All sorts of officials and legal bods.

Haven't walked along the beach since.

He never gave the information on where the bodies were buried so grieving families never knew where their loved ones lay.

An odd time to be around with the Yorkshire ripper stalking  Yorkshire and Lancashire. I used to put the lights out at night and check no one was standing outside or in the gardens.

I can laughabout it now but one night there was something at the far end of the back garden glowing in the dark. Didn't dare go out so was awake all night.

Next day it proved to be a very battered football discarded by my son.

Strange the times we live through. Already done the winter of discontent, Lights out Britain and the Heatwave Summer of 76. Here we go again . Tomorrow the TV will not be switched on. I'm aiming for a news free day.

I shall continue knitting my giant winter blanket. Rather like the cat blankets I used to knit but bigger squares and variations of Moss Stitch in different chunky wools. As long as I can knit. sew and do my counted cross stitch I will survive.

gave youngest a lot of DK and normal chunky to keep her sane . Managed to track down some discontinued chunky I made my first Stormy weather shawl in. Still have the pattern Elaine Colliar posted on her blog. She was Memory Girl on MSE years ago.

The chunky wool has all the blues . greys and greens of Scottish skies, Love big Scottish skies and used to stand outside late at night staring at the moon and stars. Nowadays it's the supermoons. It's  a while since we've been to Scotland.

pollyx

f0xh0les

It is surprising the amount of people who have their aunties in urns under the stairs, not  where they wanted to be released.  I think we need to have a national 'Urn'  day and let people scatter where they will.

Wonder if that is where JK got the idea for HP's bedroom.

firsview

f0xh0les said:

What did you do at the weekend @firsview ?  Well,  we dumped a couple of bodies on the moors, and ran away before we were spotted,  then realised we needed a new circular saw blade....    no really, we did!!

Oh dear, I hope everyone isn’t hurriedly jumping ship now

pollyanna_26

I did some  mindfulness years ago GMN. Back then youngests anxiety issues were off the scale along with agoraphobia. Just getting her to an appointment was difficult. She didn't want to see people she didn't know so I had to be with her. Most of the time she was shaking with nerves and not taking anything in so I hadto be the one who could tell her later.

TBH she had two different people over the years who didn't make an impression. A few older counsellors of the pull yourself together type who did more harm than good.

It was only when superdoc brought in the younger counsellor in to the practice that things changed. She came out to the waiting room and gave us both a hug. Instead of heading to the door youngest went alone with her for the first session.. Myself and the surgery staff just stared at each other.

Youngest came out smiling a while later. She had a file and homework. Counsellor had printed off that days conversations and dd was to read and cmment.

After that she went from baby steps to giant strides the months went by and she finally felt she had tools to deal with all the self blame and all the things in her head.

She was told she could contact that young woman any time who gave her her mobile number.  We had a big group hug in the waiting room on the lat day and dd has never gone back to dodgy coping methods.

She has the tools and the best DR and meds possible. Still some meltdowns since the pandemic but I haven't been in the best of moods at times. We've all had fallout and disruption.

It is a pity it took decades to sort. One good GP made the difference and changed her life.She;s in her late thirties now and was 13 when she got the wrong Aspergers diagnosis. 20 years before the stupid psych from CAHMS who diagnosed every youngster with Aspergers was struck off the medical register for life. Then more years before she got the right diagnosis, meds and counselling. I doubt any other GP would have challenged as ours did. He never gave up.

Most of my trees are evergreens a shelter belt from the wild winds but I do have a few not evergreens. Leaves are begining to fall and the idea  of pinning worries and fears to leaves and letting them float away. I have a stupidly large bird bath, we get a lot of birds especially in winter. They may not notice a few leaves.

I think you are in the very best hands now and the future looks bright. I understand how things being sorted properly has a positive effect. Saw it in recent years with youngest.

I did all I could but some specialised knowledge is needed and you're with experts now all the way to Mr and Mrs Builder.

Just keep logging everything in your diaries. Decades of my academic diaries show all the progresss or not from day one. Now they're full of positive things. Lives can change with the right help and support. Difficult to do but no one should ever give up.

I used to tell youngest to remember Pandora's box when all there is left is hope hope can get you through. Took a long time but it did.

pollyx

beanielou

Good to hear from you polly  xx

I have been through my winter stuff today & have ordered a couple of new thermal tops.

Thrifty_Taylor

🎉🎉🎉 great news on the house sale @grandmanerd 😃

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, was exhausted! Stayed Fri night at mum's, as mentioned previously. We were in bed early, so up early Saturday. Was sewing the dress I'd collected the night before, at 8am! Dropped it off at 9am before taking mum to work. Did the big monthly shop in L1dl then T0sco, being mindful of what I was buying, before heading home. Put all the shopping away - took an hour. Had leftovers for dinner, then went outside & painted the front of the garage, then the front & back gable ends of one of the sheds. After tea me & DH went for a walk, then watched a film we'd recorded on the box & I crocheted.

NSD#3
Had a lie in, did some paperwork, packaged more eboy sales, then cleaned the bathroom. DH grumbled about all the carp in the sheds & garage, that he can't find his tools, etc, so I spent the whole afternoon, sorting one of the sheds. Found some things to donate +now in the car ready to drop off) & some for selling (listed on FB), & some to dump. Did 3 rows of crochet before tea, changed the bedding, emptied my broken handbag into a new one I'd received for my birthday 2 years ago, then had a long soak in the bath & finished my book.

Grateful for clean bedding, a new handbag, a decluttered shed

DrCarrie

Morning turtles 

NSD #1 yesterday

Had a lovely low-cost weekend. Had a mooch in a couple of charity shops and bought a few bits for my wardrobe. Then went to my dad's for dinner on Saturday night and stayed over and had a walk in a nature reserve and then a nice pub lunch.

Rumblings on about the salary for promotion not being resolved - a bit like the boat's engine won't start. Still feeling a bit stuck in that. Been budgeting and re-budgeting - trying to find the amount I want to save and think how that will be in the here and now.

Been looking at getting a heated throw, clothes dryer, a multicooker, and a wonderpot. I also really do need a new phone, new orthotic insoles and to go to the dentist. 

Grateful for 
- seeing a seal 
- beautiful late summer days 
- gorgeous views on the train 

hazeldreams

Morning! Update on Sunday;

1. Eat/drink to nourish mind and body - epic fail. Trying to be kind to myself about it, but its really hard.

2. Yoga, meditation, exercise - Missed yoga and meditation yesterday  - it didn't help my mood 

3. Gratitudes - lots to be grateful for; how well my eldest DD is doing, my youngest's strength, my OH care and support.

4. NSDs - 3/10 - massive spend on the bifold door emergency boarding. Need to notify home insurance at some point.

5. Pause before purchases - Other than the emergency, we didn't spend a thing.

Couldn't face clearing the wardrobes. Watched movies and journaled most of the day instead. It was nice to relax, but had a knawing feeling I'd wasted the day.

Urgh, trek into the office today. Really not feeling this at all. It's never as bad as I think it'll be though. I really do need to focus on calming the negative thoughts today and focusing on kindness to myself!

Wish me luck!