Reducing usage with a teen with additional needs.

Spoonie_Turtle

Obviously trying to reduce usage is the first step as far as possible, but also, you will need to consider charging him more.  PIP is for the extra costs of disability.  If his main extra costs are energy usage and a high food bill, that's really what a large chunk of PIP should be going on.  UC is an income replacement benefit, to be used to live off as well.  (Does he claim the LCWRA element?)

I don't know his or your wider circumstances (it might be that PIP and/or UC already pay for other things that are necessities for him), and I'm certainly not implying any suggestion to charge him the whole amount of his benefits.  But his benefits are claimed in his own right so that he can contribute to the household as an adult, and if it helps to view it in context of what's best for him - you unnecessarily getting into debt or struggling to make ends meet because of his energy use, despite him having the means to contribute, would not be what's best for him.

[Unrelated to the monetary aspect but just worth mentioning the priority services register, if you haven't already registered with your supplier.]

Coffeekup

becky004 said:

This is a boy who will not compromise, we have an electric shower which he would use 2-3 times a day, he'd run it for 10 minutes before getting in despite being told and shown that the hot water is instant, then 20 minutes for the actual shower. Have explained about price increases and that it's not going to be possible to do that anymore, I suggested a kitchen timer in the bathroom and 5 minute showers only, his compromise he'll take cold showers from now on (am not stupid he won't do that in winter!). He quite likes a bath, would it be cheaper for him to have a bath every day (water heated with gas combi boiler).

Xbox S use, definitely no compromise with that, he doesn't sleep, rarely goes out it's probably on 18-20 hours a day when he's home, while I do want to curtail energy usage I don't want him to unhappy or having meltdowns so am not going to change that.

The main issue I think is his cooking, the oven is on 5,6,7 times a day (he's underweight so have no issue with him eating as much as he wants), again he heats it up for 15 minutes before putting food in despite the light going off several minutes before. He won't allow me to cook for him (except chicken curry or vegetable soup in the slow cooker), majority of his diet is pizza, oven chips, chicken nuggets, turkey dinosaurs, whole chickens with the odd ready made lasagne.

Have been looking at the Ninja Foodi 10-in-1 Large Multifunction Oven, it will airfry his chips, take a 12" pizza and cover all his other cooking needs, however I can't find any info on running costs, it just says it's 2400 watts, would this have a noticeable saving compared to my current oven.

He does contribute when living here, he was paying £100 a month (didn't even cover his food bill let alone everything else), I have gone through price increases with everything at the moment and he has agreed to pay £200 a month upon his return, he is not working he receives PIP & UC.

My youngest daughter is on the spectrum, she is non verbal and likes thing's just so, so I can understand the frustration of trying to implement changes and do things out of the norm.

Your biggest cost from what you have said above will be the electric shower. Get some shower mixer taps fitted, so the hot water will come from the boiler...
https://www.screwfix.com/p/turn-dual-commercial-lever-bath-shower-mixer-bathroom-tap-chrome/25843

You second biggest energy sink will be the Xbox (PC or any other games console). Has he got an I pad? If not maybe he should get one as that uses insignificant amount of energy compared to a console and a tv (bigger tv more energy used). Then maybe have him off the xbox and on to I pad a few hours a day, slowly raising the amount if time he spends on the I pad.

2400w means it'll use 2.4 kWh per hour if on highest temp setting for an hour, so half an hour will be 1.2 kWh used. 

Make a condition with him that if he does come back with you he needs to do this, this and that each day which will reduce his time on an console. I.e. need to help you cook a meal once a day, needs to manually wash the dishes It'll teach him some life skills and keep him off the Xbox. 
If the kWh used does go up another 5 a day when he is back and you'll be on the price cap in October, that be £2.50 a day or £75 a month just for his electric usage...
I would say £200 a month is not enough as it only covers the cost of food, you still need to factor in his electric usage, water, gas, council tax (if no discounts are applied).

FreeBear

Coffeekup said: Your biggest cost from what you have said above will be the electric shower. Get some shower mixer taps fitted, so the hot water will come from the boiler...
https://www.screwfix.com/p/turn-dual-commercial-lever-bath-shower-mixer-bathroom-tap-chrome/25843

Connected via an Acqua Tempus timer, it could help to reduce both water and energy consumption.

fryedslyce

Try and find your son a part-time job, I doubt you'll find a better time given all the labour shortages there are.
Speaking from personal experience, isolating himself in his room will just entrench his disconnection. 
Through much trial and error and many a meltdown, I found 16 hrs a week was the limit for my job. I did a 4hr hour shift 4 days a week, this allowed plenty of time for recovery and prevented processing overload.

steven0121

I am not being rude, I am trying to be helpful, but some on this thread might find "Nonviolent communication" by Marshall Rosenberg PhD a useful read. I understand some people on the spectrum find reading boring, others find it very helpful.

Consciousness of language and influencing others, by giving power to others is often a better strategy, than having power over others.

Have a good weekend all.

Alnat1

Your son might be interested in one of the energy monitoring plug-in devices you can get for around £10-£15. They plug in the wall before the appliance plug and show how much electric is being uses and some can show this as £ & p. 

Won't work for the oven or shower but is great for kettles, toasters, fridges and PCs etc. Might make him realise how much things cost in a visual way he can understand.

EssexHebridean

steven0121 said:

I am not being rude, I am trying to be helpful, but some on this thread might find "Nonviolent communication" by Marshall Rosenberg PhD a useful read. I understand some people on the spectrum find reading boring, others find it very helpful.

Consciousness of language and influencing others, by giving power to others is often a better strategy, than having power over others.

Have a good weekend all.

Nicely put. 

OP - thankfully you’ve had lots of helpful information on the thread including the ability to block someone who may be trolling you - always helpful to know. Hopefully you can put some of the suggestions to do with dealing with your son and his energy use into practise and help to drive your bills down. I would say that some altering of his habits if at all possible particularly around time on the x-box and his food would very probably improve his general health and well-being as well as your finances, so hopefully a win all round. 

becky004

fryedslyce said:

Try and find your son a part-time job, I doubt you'll find a better time given all the labour shortages there are.
Speaking from personal experience, isolating himself in his room will just entrench his disconnection. 
Through much trial and error and many a meltdown, I found 16 hrs a week was the limit for my job. I did a 4hr hour shift 4 days a week, this allowed plenty of time for recovery and prevented processing overload.

@fryedslyce My son is not work shy but has terrible anxiety, academically very capable but hates it, however loves working with his hands, is no good with strangers. He started doing work at his dad's friends garage as he knew him, he did so well they were going to take him on as an apprentice mechanic, he was due to start in September 2020, however due to Covid the business went under and the opportunity was lost. I have signed him up for 4 training schemes, he has never lasted more than a fortnight before he has a meltdown and they finish him. The garage made allowances for him as it was a friend of his dad's, if he didn't want to go in for whatever reason on whatever day, they were ok with it (he made the time up by going in on his days off). 

I would like to say thank you for a helpful post as the others felt like a personal attack against a vulnerable kid.

theoretica

I have a few thoughts - you say that you are his appointee for benefits - can he afford to pay for all the energy (and food) he uses?  Subsidising him now may not be a kindness in the long run, as a change in future to having less spending money will probably be harder than never getting used to having more spending money. 

If he likes the physical sensation of being in water, then baths might indeed be a cheaper alternative to showers to give a considerable time of enjoyment - depending on how deep, maybe a bath overflow alarm?  Does he also like going swimming enough to put up with public pools?

BUFF

Coffeekup said:

Your biggest cost from what you have said above will be the electric shower. Get some shower mixer taps fitted, so the hot water will come from the boiler...
https://www.screwfix.com/p/turn-dual-commercial-lever-bath-shower-mixer-bathroom-tap-chrome/25843

You second biggest energy sink will be the Xbox (PC or any other games console). Has he got an I pad? If not maybe he should get one as that uses insignificant amount of energy compared to a console and a tv (bigger tv more energy used). Then maybe have him off the xbox and on to I pad a few hours a day, slowly raising the amount if time he spends on the I pad.

We don't know (afaik) if the shower is a separate item or over the bath. If it is over the bath & there is decent pressure (combi boiler etc.) then I would instead suggest something like https://www.screwfix.com/p/rize-wall-mounted-thermostatic-bath-shower-mixer/324fv plus a pair of legs to fit to the bath. Safer, more efficient & hopefully, "set & forget".

As for shower v bath. An electric shower is typically ~6l/min so 20 minutes=120l which would be around the usage for a typical UK bath. So, water usage is similar but for the cost of heating that 120l of water electricity would be 3-4x the cost of heating it from a gas boiler.

If you don't have a Smart Meter+IHD (or indeed, even if you do) something like a Tapo P110 smart plug with energy monitoring (~£10) could give you & him an idea of the actual energy used by a device & therefore cost.

p.s. I too have significant autism traits. i did think that fryedslyce's post was blunt (to put it mildly) but I did also wonder if he might be autistic - it is a common trait.