Friend separating - can partner stop her seeing child?

martin2345uk

So an old friend of mine is separating from her partner. They're not married and have a 5 year old child. They currently live in his house - she has her own flat that she rents out, that she will be moving into herself at the end of the month.

It's not an amicable split sadly. He says she's a bad mum (he's very controlling and massively over-protective of their son) and he says he wants the child 7 nights a week and he doesn't trust her with him at night (she does most of the childcare currently so he's talking nonsense).

He says if, when she moves out, she tries to keep the child at hers overnight he will call the police. I am assuming they wouldn't be interested, being as she's his mum? A solicitor she spoke to said that he could apply for some kind of emergency court order to get him away from her? Is that right?

She is seeing another solicitor this week as I think she does need one, as he's planning to go to court to get the full custody, but I just thought I would ask this question on here while I remember...!

macman

No Contact Order through the Family Court?

martin2345uk

Hi, what about it? Not sure what you mean exactly...

SweetPotatoPie

If he is on the birth certificate then they both have parental responsibility. 

Police won’t do anything and won’t get involved.
in order to get “an emergency court order” then he would have to have some pretty solid evidence to provide reasons as to why she cannot appropriately look after a child.

A child arrangement order (C100) would be best if parents are not amicable. This would state where the child would live and how often the child should see the other parent (eg - stays with mum 5 nights per week, stays with Dad 2 nights per week). 

Unless he has evidence that she is a risk to the child as said above, then an emergency court order would not apply. 

martin2345uk

Thank you - that's what I thought / hoped. There's no evidence she's a risk as she's brought him up so far without any harm! 

I believe the C100 is what they are planning to do through the court, I don't believe he will get what he wants (7 nights a week), as, well, why would he...

Stressful time for all concerned

Ms_Chocaholic

Also if he feels that his partner isn't safe to care for the child at all what is he doing allowing her to care for the child now, if he is that worried then he should be removing the child from her care.  Clearly he's not doing that so he can't be worried.

Just to add as part of the application to Court, mediation has to be attempted first before it gets to the Court stage.

martin2345uk

Thanks - they tried mediation, well, she did, but the mediators said they couldn't continue because he simply refused to consider any compromise.

His argument is that it's at night time that she's a risk - she's on antidepressants (along with half the country) and in his mind that means she's unsafe to have him overnight, he thinks she won't wake up and hear him if he stirs in the night... bear in mind this kid is 5 years old, not a baby!

She's very worried about solicitor costs for when it goes to court - do people think she should definitely get a solicitor to act for her...?

sheramber

Womens Aid might help

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

Ms_Chocaholic

Is the ex with your friend every night now.  When is she planning to move out?  I suggest trying to do it sooner rather than later as it can't be good for their child.

After she moves out if the ex calls the Police, the Police may visit your friend's home and do a welfare check to make sure everything is okay and if it is they will say they won't do anything.

If the ex continues to harass her she can apply for a Non Molestation Order.

RAS

Definitely speak to Women's Aid. If they suggest controlling behaviour, consider reporting this.

By the way, is it possible she's depressed as a result of his behaviour?

Sea_Shell

martin2345uk said:

So an old friend of mine is separating from her partner. They're not married and have a 5 year old child. They currently live in his house - she has her own flat that she rents out, that she will be moving into herself at the end of the month.

It's not an amicable split sadly. He says she's a bad mum (he's very controlling and massively over-protective of their son) and he says he wants the child 7 nights a week and he doesn't trust her with him at night (she does most of the childcare currently so he's talking nonsense).

He says if, when she moves out, she tries to keep the child at hers overnight he will call the police. I am assuming they wouldn't be interested, being as she's his mum? A solicitor she spoke to said that he could apply for some kind of emergency court order to get him away from her? Is that right?

She is seeing another solicitor this week as I think she does need one, as he's planning to go to court to get the full custody, but I just thought I would ask this question on here while I remember...!

Just on that point...has the current tenant moved out already, or have they only just served (section 21?) notice?

Has the tenant confirmed they are happy to move out?

They might need to factor in that the tenant may not move out promptly, if they haven't moved out yet.