Money Moral Dilemma: Should I use work perk towards household food shopping, or keep it for myself?

Bonnypitlad

I think this dilemma can be summed up by words said to me many years ago by an old sage about relationships 
” A penny pie costs tuppence”!

Ive never quite understood exactly what it means but he said it
At least I think that’s what he said... or something like that
He wouldn’t have said it unless it meant something would he?
He was very old and a sage
Anyway I’m very tired and I’m going to sleep now
I hope you’ve learned something by what I think he said
I haven’t been sleeping at all well all week worrying about those silk worms
Goodnight, Thankyou for listening (reading)

MECFS_2

Use it for lunches. It's a benefit from your employer for that specific purpose. If you're found to be using it for other purposes ( a seemingly harmless conversation with a colleague gets relayed to your boss) this could be frowned on.
Also, assuming you work 5 days a week, there are approximately 22.5 lunches a month. Your allowance gives you roughly £8.90 per lunch - hardly a £3.50 meal deal. This would suggest neither you or your partner are working in low paid jobs so you're lunch allowance is hardly going to make a huge difference. Unless you work in Central London with nowhere reasonably priced close by.
I wouldn't worry about "making up" for anything. You have nothing to make up for. Initially you earned less so paid less towards bills. Now you earn the same you pay the same towards bills.
If you're going to worry about relatively small fluctuations.....as the saying goes - you worry too much.

MECFS_2

crisbaxter said:

So when he earned more it was ok, but now you earn more you want to keep the extra! 

When "he" earned more? It doesn't say if the person is male or female.
They also say they earn the same as their partner.

gerrag

Playing Devil's advocate here....but is anyone wondering why we have yet to hear back from the OP???
OP......where are you??????

SawyerTheo

MECFS_2 said:

crisbaxter said:

So when he earned more it was ok, but now you earn more you want to keep the extra! 

When "he" earned more? It doesn't say if the person is male or female.
They also say they earn the same as their partner.

It’s right there in the OP: “My partner and I have always split bills and rent based on our earnings, so he paid more when I earned less”. 

For all the people saying ‘all money should be ‘ours’ not each others’ - you may well find that your partner occasionally likes buying something for themselves with money they have worked for without feeling like it comes out of the household budget. How does it raise a red flag that someone doesn’t want to share 100% of their income, surely it should raise a red flag to them that you expect this. 

You have also clearly never had a partner who likes buying luxury items, or one that is unable to budget well even if the household is in debt or has excessive outgoings. People do indeed have spreadsheets of who owes what, and in many relationships this would reduce resentment, and make it much easier in statistically likely event they break up at some point. 50s attitudes to sharing money and credit ratings are archaic. 

The OP should do whatever they want with the allowance. If they have agreed that a certain percentage of their incomes goes towards bills, then it should probably be considered income for that purpose, but if they have decided to split evenly based on similar salaries, then do as you please. 

warby68

Adding it to your income and adjusting the bill split seems fair based on your system even if not overly generous. There will probably still be enough left for your lunches. From the money you will save by not buying lunches you could also treat him or pay for something for both of you.

kids9698

When I love someone and live with them, I share as much as possible with my other half. Of course, if he started to take the mickey, I would start to share less. But your partner has paid more in the past, so is not taking you for granted. A loving couple should both share with each other mutually. Therefore, as a loving couple, I say share it.  

Ed264

I think you've answered your own question - it is £200 for a 'lunch allowance' but "I can spend it anywhere". If I were you, I would spend it anywhere. On the basis of you working Monday to Friday (you didn't say that, but let's say that you do) then that allowance amounts to £10 per day, a rather generous lunch allowance, I reckon. Take a packed lunch to work, it will cost much less than £10!

Bonnypitlad

I suggest you take a cookery course and learn how to make a sandwich, take it to work or heat a meal in the office kitchen. We had a small microwave at work and at lunch time everyone would dash to get there before me. I took frozen kippers which I had to defrost first then heat on full power, it took a long time and people would have to wait inline. I would start a conversation about the weather but not many people would talk to me. My contract wasn’t renewed, I don’t work there anymore 
Now I eat my kippers at home with my cat, he doesn’t mind the smell. His name is Tom. I call him “Tomcat” and he laughs

SimonHolland1

Get a divorce/desolvement - you can afford it!