Money Moral Dilemma: Our son got a £20,000 payout - should we focus on saving for our other kids?

Spendless

Some people are mis-reading the initial post. It DIDN'T talk about splitting the £20K awarded to one of the children between all their children . That would be wrong, it isn't the parents money to do that. The dilemma asked since 1 of their kids already has £20K coming to them as a result of a compensation claim should they now just save for the other 2 or continue to save for all 3 of them.

"One of our sons was involved in an accident at nursery and got £20,000 compensation, which has been safely put away for his future. We're now wondering what to do about saving for him and his two brothers - should we continue to save an equal amount for all three of them, or concentrate on saving for his brothers since he already has a large amount put away?"

My view it depends on the reason for the compensation, is it needed for additional help due to the accident in which case I would continue your savings at the same level. Your savings to them is for whatever you thought it was to help with at a later stage in life and that's applicable to all 3. Eg all 3 learn to drive and want a car. Your savings contributes to each one having one but the one awarded the compensation needs a specially adapted one, the difference in price between 2 standard cars and a specially adapted one the additional costs come from the compensation money

If however the accident doesn't mean that there will be anything additional needed then I would still continue to save for all 3 but make a slight adjustment to take into consideration that 1 will receive more.

On a lot lot smaller scale and for different reasons I had this because my younger child received the child trust fund my older one didn't. Though I can't now remember all details at 18 despite this and the 3 year gap both ended up with similar amounts and I think it was because for a while I paId more into the eldest's in order to even up the gap before reverting to the same amount. I also think that when relatives gave money for birthdays/xmas the eldest was very much of the 'dunno' type when asked what he wanted with it whereas youngest had a wish list so eldest's money gifts also ended up in the bank which also spread it out more evenly.

JayD

Save for them all equally. The accident compensation is an entirely different benefit that has not come from you.

Naomim

We have exactly the same situation. My now 12yo was awarded £20k for an accident that happened when she was 6. It was finalised last year and that money is now in a court trust fund.

I have two children and save for them both equally. However they probably won't end up with the same amounts. 17yo had the government childrens trust fund when he was born. My brother used to give money towards it. By the time 12yo was born My brother had met  his partner who encouraged gifts instead of money so 12yo had less in her pot. I'm not splitting money between them, I'll just continue saving until they need it for something. 

pickledonionspaceraider

Save equally.

Otherwise, you would be making your son lose out, for having an accident?

crmism

Without knowing the ages of the sons and their financial status, it's quite impossible to make helpful suggestions. All I would say is that the other sons should be encouraged to put money by as soon as they have the opportunity.

MovingForwards

crmism said:

Without knowing the ages of the sons and their financial status, it's quite impossible to make helpful suggestions. All I would say is that the other sons should be encouraged to put money by as soon as they have the opportunity.

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Malthusian

If the other two sons win £50,000 each on the Premium Bonds, are you going to take their savings away from them and give it to their brother who is now the unfortunate one?
Just treat them equally. There is no such thing as a fair split, there is such a thing as an equal split.

seven-day-weekend

I think the £20k belongs to that child.  So, save for all of them equally, but that one will have £20k more.