Money Moral Dilemma: Our son got a £20,000 payout - should we focus on saving for our other kids?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

One of our sons was involved in an accident at nursery and got £20,000 compensation, which has been safely put away for his future. We're now wondering what to do about saving for him and his two brothers - should we continue to save an equal amount for all three of them, or concentrate on saving for his brothers since he already has a large amount put away?

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Auti

I would save equally for all children. The son was awarded the money because of his accident and to help him with trauma/ ongoing injuries etc. it is a lot of money to be awarded which makes me think there are issues they think he will need the money for. If it is safely put away it is there if a medical need arises and if not it is there for the future. I think not saving for him but saving for the others would be a bit like excluding him because he had an accident and may cause friction between everyone when older. It is clear where the £20,00 came from and why so should not cause problems when older with siblings. This is only my opinion

74jax

I'm with Auti above, save for all kids the same. The 20k is extra, is it for when he's older, or for now to help with ongoing issues? Not that it matters really, I would save the same amount for all. 

Sea_Shell

I agree with the others in saving equally for all 3 children.

However, be prepared for the "IT'S NOT FAIR!!" in Kevin and Perry style once they are teenagers, as the two that are £20k light* on their savings may not understand the bigger picture of why, at that age.


*With a £20k "head start" and sensible investing (or compound interest) it may be a lot more by the time they turn 18!


Good luck!

TheJP

Maybe involve the other 2 children in an accident and split the £20k to make it fair, (that's a light hearted analogy joke).

I think its important to remember that the child had an accident that clearly wasn't their fault and suffered hence the compensation. Treat the 3 equally its the decent and easiest thing to do, other wise you'll need to make adjustments throughout when one or more get better paid jobs, win the lottery, go on hard times etc.

theoretica

Does the £20k need to be saved for the future, or is it at least in part to cover additional needs as he grows - whatever he might need help with?  If you use this money for that purpose, not subsidising the accident from your own earnings, it will be using the money as intended - and give you more to save for all three children.

Savvy_Sue

Just wondering, have you been given this money, and you've put it away? Or is it under someone else's control? 

I ask because many many years ago, one of my siblings had an accident which resulted in them being given some compensation, but it was paid direct to them when they were 18, or maybe 21 (that's how long ago it was...) They had to go to a court to receive their cheque. 

But that wasn't something where money would be needed while growing up. We didn't really do much for trauma, back then. 

That would keep it so separate that I'd definitely be saving equally. And you'll get the cries of "It's not fair!" whatever you do ... 

Ed264

I agree with most of the other contributors. Leave the £20,000 where it is then treat all three children the same. It's unfortunate that your son had this accident.

hairywalrus

I really don't understand how this is an issue.  There are two possible scenarios:

1) The £20k is compensation needed by the child to deal with the consequences of the accident.  This means the money will be spent, and the child won't have any 'additional' savings.  Therefore all future savings the parents make should be split equally between children.
2) The compensation was paid as a consequence of today's compensation culture, but the money won't actually be spent remedying the accident.  In which case the child doesn't need it and it's discretionary, so the £20k should be split equally between children.  I fail to see in this situation how the child could claim it's theirs - particularly as this happened at nursery, implying the child is of an age where they've got no concept of what £20k is worth and need never know.

DannyHotPotato

If a child was injured by a third party and had been paid compensation for that incident, would they be expected to share that payout with their siblings?
"Charlie got £900,000 for losing his foot in a road collision that had no blame on his part.  So, Maisy and Ben, we're giving you £300,000 of that each from that".
I don't ****ing think so.
So how is this different????

ginger_chocolate

I have two sisters. If one of them had had an accident as a child that was bad enough that they received that much compensation I certainly wouldn't begrudge them the additional money. Maybe there would be "it's not fair" moments when I was still young, but by the time I reached early adulthood I'd be over it.

I'd save equally for all children, but maybe be careful how you talk about the extra pay out in front of them to avoid antagonising any issues.