Ex- work colleague situation re: gifts - WWYD? 1 August 2022 at 6:54AM in Marriage, relationships & families 31 replies 4.6K views

coconutcurls

So I left my previous job at a school 2 weeks before the end of the term for the summer holidays.

First week of the summer holidays, I texted Colleague A to wish a good summer break. They reply to me asking about my new job etc and ask me if I get the children's and parent's gifts that they brought at the end of the term? Colleague B volunteered to take it and drop at my house.

Colleague B lives one floor above me. So far they haven't dropped anything here. I didn't know about gifts until I texted Colleague A so although I am grateful Colleague B volunteered to do me a favour, I wouldn't have known if Colleague A didn't tell me.

At the beginning I thought about letting go, then waiting and seeing what is going to happen but it has been 10 days since the summer holidays began. Of course Colleague B could be travelling and stuff. It just don't make much sense. They could have stopped the lift one floor earlier, dropped the stuff at my door step and get the lift back up. 

Now, I don't have Colleague's B phone number but I have an idea of which door is her door. They probably don't have my number either but I know they know my door because they were acquaintances with the people who were in my flat before me.

The gifts probably are wine (I don't drink, they can keep it), chocolates (they can keep it too)  - toiletries - plant pots and gif cards - I would kite those last three, especially the gift cards.

I am thinking about asking Colleague A for Colleague B phone's number and then ask B. That would be awkward if the gifts have all been used.

BTW, the school could keep the gifts for me and phone me to collect even if in September. So although it is kind that B volunteered to pass it to me...it didn't happen.

What would you do?

elsien

When colleague A asked if you’d had the gifts would have been the time to say that you hadn’t - then whoever had asked them to drop them off could have chased them up. What did you responx with when they asked? 

The longer you leave it, the more awkward it’s going to get. So I’d probably call colleague A and say if they let you have the number you can call up and fetch them. 

coconutcurls

elsien said:

When colleague A asked if you’d had the gifts would have been the time to say that you hadn’t - then whoever had asked them to drop them off could have chased them up. What did you responx with when they asked? 

The longer you leave it, the more awkward it’s going to get. So I’d probably call colleague A and say if they let you have the number you can call up and fetch them. 

I know it is bad but I didn’t reply to A yet which is fine I can still do it. 

I am not sure if someone asked B or if B volunteered. 

BellaLasagna2018

These gifts belong to you. The only awkwardness should be on colleague B’s part for either not dropping them off or using them, if they have. 

Ask for colleague B’s phone number, then contact her, say you are grateful she took your gifts and when would it be convenient for you to pick them up. 

I really don’t see why you should be hesitating, especially when you won’t be working with her in September, and you clearly are not close neighbours. 

elsien

Giving the charitable point of view, it's more likely that they're sat in a corner somewhere on the to-do list than that colleague B has half-inched them - I say this as the queen of procrastination and not doing things as quickly as others might. 

Flugelhorn

text back to colleague A and say you haven't had them - they will be embarrassed by it all and want to get on with sorting it out - not for you to feel awkward in any way 

pinkshoes

Just reply to A saying you haven't received any gifts.

Say that perhaps B has forgotten about them or doesn’t know exactly which house you like in?? 

Then ask for Bs phone number so you can message them with the house number so they can bring them round.

TBagpuss

Reply to A to say you haven't had the gifts and would it be best for you to all into school to colelct them at the start of next term, or if B took them, can they let you have B's address and number, and pass yours to B, so the two of you can liaise . 

It may be that B is less sure of which falt is yours than you hav assumed and is left not knowing excatly what to deliver them, so asking A to give each of you the other's contact details should resolve the issue. 

74jax

I don't think this is awkward, a simple text of no you haven't recieved them yet, but you have never bumped into (insert name). 

Ask them if they are in touch with (insert name) and if so could they pass on which number they live at and you'll go up, or maybe say your number is xx and could they pass it on just in case they didn't know which number you lived at. 

This is really common for schools, I was off over Christmas and even though I was only temporary, had some gifts that were dropped off on my doorstop.

I'm not sure why you would give this person your wine (unless of course you're friends) otherwise if you wanted to share out with work colleagues you could I guess but I'd rather give gifts I don't want to other family or friends. Maybe something as a 'thank you' for being inconvenienced in bringing them to you, but I wouldn't give away my gifts to someone who wasn't a friend/family but maybe a local raffle if you really wanted? 

coconutcurls

74jax said:

I don't think this is awkward, a simple text of no you haven't recieved them yet, but you have never bumped into (insert name). 

Ask them if they are in touch with (insert name) and if so could they pass on which number they live at and you'll go up, or maybe say your number is xx and could they pass it on just in case they didn't know which number you lived at. 

This is really common for schools, I was off over Christmas and even though I was only temporary, had some gifts that were dropped off on my doorstop.

I'm not sure why you would give this person your wine (unless of course you're friends) otherwise if you wanted to share out with work colleagues you could I guess but I'd rather give gifts I don't want to other family or friends. Maybe something as a 'thank you' for being inconvenienced in bringing them to you, but I wouldn't give away my gifts to someone who wasn't a friend/family but maybe a local raffle if you really wanted? 

I don’t drink wine and I am very fussy with my chocolates, that is why I said she can keep and I will offer. 

pinkshoes

coconutcurls said:

I don’t drink wine and I am very fussy with my chocolates, that is why I said she can keep and I will offer. 

I find that exceptionally rude. 

It's a gift and rejecting part of it and being picky is REALLY rude.

You accept it, say thank you, then if there is anything you don't want you can give it to another friend and NOT someone associated with the gift.