Financial support to children

Threebabes

Would love some views on what support you give to your university kids.

our middle child is going into the last year of university in September. Has a part time job earning between £400-£700 a month since the start. Her loan covers her rent. We are giving her £200 a month to supplement her loan and living costs. She isn’t living a student life, eats out regularly, brunch, coffees, evening meals.had a week’s holiday in April, off to a lodge for the night next week, had 5 days in New York in June, off to London for a few days in august. When I see her she always wants to go for a food shop which I pay for and usually double what she usually spends.

my husband thinks she has no drive to look for a part time job in her field, it’s very competitive. No effort in applying for work experience etc. Do we continue to supplement her lifestyle? I must have an old fashioned view on university where I thought you were skint, and scrapped by where she’s living her best life.

Thank you.

Dazed_and_C0nfused

She isn’t living a student life, eats out regularly, brunch, coffees, evening meals.had a week’s holiday in April, off to a lodge for the night next week, had 5 days in New York in June, off to London for a few days in august. When I see her she always wants to go for a food shop which I pay for and usually double what she usually spends.

I think that often is the modern student life!

74jax

DD got minimum student loan but it covered her rent.

She had a job at Clarkes where uni was and transferred to a nearer store every holiday.  The summer she worked loads of extra for the children's Back to School events and so saved a lot to cover when she was back at uni. 

I transferred £20 every week. 

She had an amazing uni life, always out, had holidays, and lived her best life. She learnt to budget, work out what she prioritised (I didn't always agree).

I also bought her food when I visited and paid for lunch etc. 

strawb_shortcake

My eldest is starting this September, his loan covers his rent and he'll have around £2k left over. 
He has a job at home where he can pick up extra shifts during the holidays, his savings from work aren't going too well at the moment but we did manage to encourage him to open a savings account yesterday. He's chosen to save around 60% of his take home for the next couple of months.

We will be transferring him £25/30 a week for food, and I'll continue to pay for his phone which is only £7.50 a month. 

I'd be less inclined to subsidise a lifestyle that was superior to mine

Jude57

Friends and colleagues with Uni aged children do a monthly 'basics' online food shop for their offspring. It's a way for them to ensure that the young people have full food cupboards/freezers and have basic toiletries and cleaning products too. They probably spend about £50-60 a time and the student can of course supplement it with anything they want over and above that. It seems to work for them but I know it wouldn't work for everyone.

Savvy_Sue

I think it's not so much about the support given, what matters is the communication around it - and the communication between you and your husband.

To directly answer the question, we did next to nothing. We couldn't have made the parental contribution for DS1 without huge issues, so I told him this. He said that was fine. System had changed by the time DS2 headed off, he got nothing from us either. DS3 was initially at home, and I even took a VERY minimal contribution from him for food. 

They got free transport at the beginning and end of term, free board in holidays, and the offer of a food shop at the start of term, and if we visited mid term as well. I bought any clothes they asked for, with compulsory new underwear for Christmas. 

They'd all worked and saved during 6th form, continued to work in holidays, and they knew they could ask if there was ever a problem.

I think it's fine to talk to your student offspring and work out what's reasonable. If that changes mid course, talk to them. If you're concerned about their future plans, talk to them.

The OP's daughter may have decided she doesn't want to use her degree, but if she does, has she realised how much help relevant work experience would help. 

JGB1955

We paid our daughter's tuition fees up front (£1K per annum at the time).  The rest was up to her... well, I say that... we probably then subsidised her by £30+ per week.... or perhaps more, when we were visiting....  She's a bit cross that (10 years later) she paid £10 off her loan when she had a particularly good month of wages.  What a waste of money... on all fronts.  Thanks to those who think that following a degree in International Tourism is a good move!

CruisingSaver

My daughter graduated this year and received the minimum student loan. We paid for her rent and the student loan paid for her living expenses. She also worked part time during the holidays in her first 2 years as far as COVID would allow.

She gave up her job for the final year so she could focus on her final project etc. which helped her get her first job a week after her degree show.

Spendless

You've put she has a part time job but hasn't got a part time job in her field. Can you explain further? Does she need a part time job in her field at this point? Would she find one? Would the hours work alongside her studies? Do you need to supplement her if she earns £400-£700 in her point time job and her loan covers her rent. does it cover all of it? Is her final year the time to put pressure on her to do something different? 


My eldest has recently finished his degree. He had the min loan and we paid his rent which always inc bills. As he'd ended up on a foundation year due to poor sixth form results we didn't ask him to find a job straight away. He was on the brink of finding something when the first lockdown came in. He managed to find some online work instead and this helped him a little.

Youngest is a drama student. She finished one short course in March and starts another in October. In between she has a part time seasonal job as an actor at a tourist attraction. She has to commute to this as work  in this field  is limited and competitive.

 I wouldn't put pressure on her  at the end of her studies to find relatable work if she had a job in a supermarket  for example giving her enough cash to live on not unless she really needed it in order to look for something relatable once her course had finished and there was no other way in such as through voluntary work. Today my DD in another role at a charity event was approached about helping out for another charitable organisation. Is there anything like this your daughter could get involved in? 

 

silvercar

Give her a break. She is going into her final year at uni, often the most pressurised, as well as holding down a part time job earning reasonable student wage. You should be impressed. A lot of students struggle to maintain their part time income when they have final year studies. I think she is doing very well.

KxMx

Personally if she can afford frequent holidays then I'd either stop the grocery shop all together or make it clear you have a set amount you will pay, and anything over she can fund herself.

I think expecting a food shop costing double what she normally spends when you see her is taking advantage.