Getting the balance right

elantan

Karmacat said:

Just referring back to your last post on the previous page - you're spot on, your health is the most important thing.  And part of that *is* adventures, you're right, even little ones.  But since you've just found yourself not doing something because of the cost of petrol, why don't you research stuff local to you?  If you do VisitScotland - Scotland's National Tourist Organisation and "Visit your county" and put google up to high magnification so that *everything* appears - this is the stuff I did when the first lockdown started easing, and we were allowed to drive a bit.  There'll be new ventures starting up, you just can't tell what might recently have opened.  

My own county (deep in Englandshire!, no good to you, sorry) has its own maps website - it shows all rights of way at a certain scale, as well as national walks and easy access trails.  It's run by the county council, so completely free.

The other thing was your description of fruit picking and foraging - are you near the coast?  Near enough, at any rate?  Because there might be foragey type environments there, and even if it isn't shellfish etc, its stones and shells and whatnot.

Just like powerspowers is saying about the takeaway/fakeaway - do the stuff you want to do, but find ways of doing it more cheaply.  Internet research is *such* a precious thing!

Hey Kc, 

I do alot of stuff near me, i live very close to a country park in fact 2 country park's both within walking distance, i also live next to a long river with an extensive walking path on it, and we have a few hills etc, just sometimes its good to go elsewhere, i had fancied walking the lavender fields as they look so pretty, sadly they are not close by me. I could've went to the clyde valley for my fruit but i think i scunnered myself so much with the diesel price to fife that i just sat an moped. 

Funnily enough we did a foraging course not that long ago, it was an interesting time, cant remember what we picked but it was fun and something we have discussed doing more of. I dont live next to the sea, its an hours drive for me, but thats the good bit about being friends with someone that is, we tend to go out adventuring together and enjoying ourself and that will not change i am not willing to give up our fun days out, days that are filled with laughter as well as adventure, its just budgetting for it and that is one of the great things about starting this diary, it has highlighted to me it needs done as it is non negotiable.  

elantan

edinburgher said:

@elantan - sounds like your first step should be a good old fashioned "note down everything you spend for a couple of months"

That is EXACTLY what i need to do, i think it will make a huge difference to know where our money goes 

elantan

savingholmes said:

Are there any to good to go options near you? Might fill the takeaway gap with something more affordable 

the food budget is deff going to be looked at, and takeaways will be i think one of the biggest bits of it, it cant go on like this, especially not if we want to retire at some point, right now we couldn't afford to.

elantan

beanielou said:

So very sorry to read about Mr El.
For some reason I thought that things had got better 

Thanks Beanie, 

Its just what it is i'm afraid, it a combination of the family issues ( i'm sure i told you about them?) work issues still going on 4 years later and will continue to go on for years, and lockdown. it just sped up an already horrible situation. 

He does his best, and tries to cut down/out every now and then, the longest he lasted was 7 days and it wasnt good for him, but he did it as he got a scare, i had hoped with his latest stuff he wouldve got another scare but his bloods came back all fine so thats a green light then isnt it. 

He is still an amazing man, still very caring and wanting the best for me/us, he still adores me (and I him), but he is tired and is struggling, so alcohol his dependable numbing friend is there to numb the pain. 

Hopefully he will get on top of it before it is too late, but I have had to start making plans for being on my own in life, much as that is incredibly painful to do, it does currently appear like the future reality for me. Or maybe my lungs will give up and i will go first you never know    

savingholmes

Hope things improve for you soon. Putting in place retirement savings is a good step in taking control of what you can.

elantan

savingholmes said:

Hope things improve for you soon. Putting in place retirement savings is a good step in taking control of what you can.

Thanks @savingholmes , exactly control what you can and let go of the rest xxx

beanielou

Yes, you did tell me 

skint_spice

I don’t think you should give up days out etc as they help you stay sane and there’s no point just working to pay for retirement as who knows if we will make it or not... you owe me nothing, we are good, remember I am much less than you per mile😝

Cheaper options are worth looking at but with takeout I would get what you like less often rather than something that will do more frequently. It makes it more of a treat and there’s no point to meh food. I rarely have takeout 😇 must be one of my few good habits, I would rather go out for a meal😂

elantan

wages in, wages out. Mr El is taking a more active interest in finance so on pay day he has been doing the transfers for bills and sitting with me every month and deciding priorities for our money it's a nice welcome change. 

This time I've decided I'm not doing any shuffling of robbing peter to pay paul. So we were £35 short as we became over drawn ( there will be a charge for that... which makes me kinda stressed but if it helps him understand the finances it will be worth it). So £35 cut from budget already, no money for computer repairs/replacement this month, and £20 out of holiday fun. 

I also didnt pay the credit card in full which is the first time in years and I'm out in a cold sweat about that, I explained roughly how much we will pay in interest next month and Mr El was giving it !!!!!! can we just not pay something, how about if we cut back food, i explained it's more than the food budget for the whole month, how about if we just cut back the interest i had to explain it wouldnt make much difference. 

It's great Mr El has finally started taking a keen interest in our finances, I have been trying to get him to do so for years,  maybe he will have a light bulb moment  eventually

edinburgher

Is your CC still about £1000 El? One of my suggestions would be to move it using a BT card and start paying the minimums, should save you about £50/mth and debt not so big that you should worry