Getting the balance right

elantan

Ive finally managed to figure out how to get an avatar with this new look forum site ( still prefer the old one.. what happened to the pub btw) 

i picked a picture and as i did it made me smile and think of a fellow MSE'r who LOVES sun flowers, then i finally saw the persons avatar and it is very much me ... maybe were morphing into each other       

skint_spice

elantan said:

Ive finally managed to figure out how to get an avatar with this new look forum site ( still prefer the old one.. what happened to the pub btw) 

i picked a picture and as i did it made me smile and think of a fellow MSE'r who LOVES sun flowers, then i finally saw the persons avatar and it is very much me ... maybe were morphing into each other       

We may be!  So glad you are back on here again

elantan

skint_spice said:

elantan said:

Ive finally managed to figure out how to get an avatar with this new look forum site ( still prefer the old one.. what happened to the pub btw) 

i picked a picture and as i did it made me smile and think of a fellow MSE'r who LOVES sun flowers, then i finally saw the persons avatar and it is very much me ... maybe were morphing into each other       

We may be!  So glad you are back on here again

I can think of worse people I could be like ... maybe your amazingness can rub off on me a bit 

I'm glad I'm back as well, think it will be good and will help a lot with my future plans ... all of which you've heard over and over again 

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary.
Keep posting

Karmacat

elantan said:

edinburgher said:

I'd share the budget. I did so a while back and got a well deserved kick up the bahookie

Ok  you did ask, 

income £4.1k  2 adults only living in the house

£1,600 retirement planning
£550 food/alcohol/takeaway/eating out (this isnt enough and we go over it every month) 
£250 council tax
£240 gas and electric
£225 diesel
£200 big holiday
£200 house repairs/ decorating/doing up
£150 new car
£100 son
£100 car repairs
£50 M.O.T
£75 credit card ( currently owe £975)
£75 house insurance etc
£70 Broad band and house phone 
£ 40 (2) mobile phones
£40 union fees
£20 gym
£15 computer
£25 professional fees
£20 xmas
£20 dentist/glasses
£15 birthdays
£20 new caravan

Things not accounted for 
Caravan breaks, fun days out, hill walking, kayaking, gardening, clothes, haircuts, appliance replacement, amazon buys

So, the budget.  First off, and most importantly, woo hoo, look at the first item in your list!  Amazing!  Congratulations!

Things that seem right in the ballpark, in the order you've written them: council tax, maybe gas and electric, holiday, house repairs, new car (a lot of these sound like savings pot for regular expenses that are necessary, so ... it is what it is ).  Car repairs, credit card, MOT, union, Xmas, dentist, birthdays, caravan.

Queries I'd make (don't be scared!), though I'm not sure you have the strength or energy to tackle much right now:
- £550 food (you know this, of course).
- £100 son - do you help him with his rent etc?
- £75 a month for house insurance sounds a lot.  Depending on what the "etc" means  
- £75 broadband and house phone, you can get deals a lot cheaper than that, El.
- £40, depending on how much you use them.
- £20 do you use the gym?
- £25 not sure what the professional fees are, so can't comment.

And there you go   It sounds like you feel a bit overwhelmed, El - one at a time, yes?  You can do it, don't beat yourself up about the timescale.

elantan

beanielou said:

Happy shiny new diary.
Keep posting

Thanks Beanie and welcome to the new diary:-) hope u got the car back ? 

elantan

Karmacat said:

elantan said:

edinburgher said:

I'd share the budget. I did so a while back and got a well deserved kick up the bahookie

Ok  you did ask, 

income £4.1k  2 adults only living in the house

£1,600 retirement planning
£550 food/alcohol/takeaway/eating out (this isnt enough and we go over it every month) 
£250 council tax
£240 gas and electric
£225 diesel
£200 big holiday
£200 house repairs/ decorating/doing up
£150 new car
£100 son
£100 car repairs
£50 M.O.T
£75 credit card ( currently owe £975)
£75 house insurance etc
£70 Broad band and house phone 
£ 40 (2) mobile phones
£40 union fees
£20 gym
£15 computer
£25 professional fees
£20 xmas
£20 dentist/glasses
£15 birthdays
£20 new caravan

Things not accounted for 
Caravan breaks, fun days out, hill walking, kayaking, gardening, clothes, haircuts, appliance replacement, amazon buys

So, the budget.  First off, and most importantly, woo hoo, look at the first item in your list!  Amazing!  Congratulations!

Things that seem right in the ballpark, in the order you've written them: council tax, maybe gas and electric, holiday, house repairs, new car (a lot of these sound like savings pot for regular expenses that are necessary, so ... it is what it is ).  Car repairs, credit card, MOT, union, Xmas, dentist, birthdays, caravan.

Queries I'd make (don't be scared!), though I'm not sure you have the strength or energy to tackle much right now:
- £550 food (you know this, of course).
- £100 son - do you help him with his rent etc?
- £75 a month for house insurance sounds a lot.  Depending on what the "etc" means  
- £75 broadband and house phone, you can get deals a lot cheaper than that, El.
- £40, depending on how much you use them.
- £20 do you use the gym?
- £25 not sure what the professional fees are, so can't comment.

And there you go   It sounds like you feel a bit overwhelmed, El - one at a time, yes?  You can do it, don't beat yourself up about the timescale.

Hi Kc, 

Thanks for having a look at it 

£550 is no where near enough for food / alcohol/ takeaways for us, I know many would love to have that much to spend, but as I'm sure you probably remember Mr El is addicted to alcohol ( I've given up drinking) and easily spends £10 a day,( and more at the weekends) so there is £300 minimum a month straight away, weve been down the road with this many times, it got much worse when the situation with the family arose and then lockdown shortly after, its killing him, he knows this but it is what it is. That leaves us just over £240 left for food and takeaway a month, one takeaway a week is £30 so there you have another £120 a month leaving £120 for food, which when your trying to eat healthy and have the occasional lunch out isnt much. 

Now I know we could survive without takeaways but theres more chance of Mr El giving up alcohol than that happening and he ain't giving up alcohol anytime soon, so every month we land up not putting money away for something just so we can buy food or drink or takeaways, believe me it frustrates the living hell out of me and has been an ongoing battle for years that has never been won yet. 

we give son £100 a month as he is surviving on benefits, it usually lands up being food for him or a bit of petrol money, it makes his life easier and he needs the money now more than he will need it when were dead and leave it to him in a will. 

£75 a month insurances, car insurance, house insurance ( contents and buildings), breakdown cover, caravan insurance, comes to that plus a bit more, but I reckon by budgeting £75 atleast I'm getting somewhere and trying. 

£40 is for 2 phones, it's the best deal we can get, I checked a couple of months ago and it was by far the best deal for our usage. it isnt quite £40 its £38 and change but 40 rounds it up easier. 

I've just joined the gym, the physio recommends it as part of my recovery so I'm trying it out just now, this may go in a few months if I dont feel it's worth it.

£75 broadband, Mr el needs fast download speeds for what he does, he gets the highest download rate, it costs money sadly, we dont have any channels but I do need the phone for my work so that costs as well, we managed to get £6  a month reduction but that's as far as we could get it down.

professional fees of £25, once this year is paid for it will be £15 a month, just now i pay extra as i dont have enough put by for this years subscription. Need to make sure that doesnt happen again. 

so yep there you go,  I have tried to find ways to sort it but I cant see a way that would work for us 

elantan

The first on my list is me digging my heels in, for years I sacrificed saving for a pension, now it goes top of the list,  I am determined to retire ASAP as I've had burnout for years, I need to start living my life my way 

Karmacat

I'm just orf to bed ... but I have to say, *all* of that is understandable.  I did remember about Mr El, you're right, but I didn't want to assume the situation was the same.  It must be hard for you to watch that level of self destruction  

Can *you* see anything you could change for the better?  Learning skills to help look after your car, like checking sparkplugs (if your car even has sparkplugs, oh dear  ).  But you get the drift - learning skills so you don't have to pay other people to do stuff.

Sleep well.  You're back!

elantan

Karmacat said:

I'm just orf to bed ... but I have to say, *all* of that is understandable.  I did remember about Mr El, you're right, but I didn't want to assume the situation was the same.  It must be hard for you to watch that level of self destruction  

Can *you* see anything you could change for the better?  Learning skills to help look after your car, like checking sparkplugs (if your car even has sparkplugs, oh dear  ).  But you get the drift - learning skills so you don't have to pay other people to do stuff.

Sleep well.  You're back!

it utterly breaks my heart Kc, watching the person you love, your best friend slowly kill themselves ( it's not as slow anymore) just tears me apart, addiction is a horrible thing, I've cried many tears over it and I know I will cry many more.

I should really take up learning something like car repairs and that may be in my future especially when it's just gonna be me at some point.  Just now though, for just now I think I need to think of my health and work on that. But yep I need to learn.