NST July 2022: A Turtle Triathlon

apple_muncher

Pinch, punch! First of the month! No returns!

And we're off...

1st leg: July 1-10 the SWIM

At the start of a triathlon, there are some who are dressed head-to-toe in sleek neoprene. They dive effortlessly into the water and immediately get into their stroke and swim strongly. Every so often they will raise their head to look at the marker they are aiming for, then they put their head down again and surge forwards.

Others walk gingerly into the water, one hand holding up the cossie with dodgy elastic to stop it falling down, uncertain as to when to bob under and start a frantic doggy paddle.

But ALL are taking the same route. All have a goal and all will get there in the end.

The start of a month is often the time when dds go out, you pay off your debt (as per the gameplan) and hunker down to live off the rest. You have renewed energy and enthusiasm and feel confident of maintaining your plan for the next 31 days.  Your credit card may be frozen in a tub of water for ‘safekeeping’, you have turned down outings, you have done a meal-plan for the month and are using up your stockpiles of store cupboard food. You are full of determination to see this through.

This is the time to try to raise some extra income – can you sell anything on FB, Bay of E, Gumtr33?

And clear yourself some extra space by giving things away. 31 items would be good – 1 for each day.

This month, keep a tally of how many miles you cover using a car, your bike, on foot, or by bus (for those who are unable to walk). Just be aware of any unnecessary journeys in the car…

f0xh0les

Not Chris Pincher, puncher, gropey groper of the monther? Honestly!  and he is not  even the same  MP as 'nipplegate'  last month - where do they find the time???

This month is going to be tight, I know that already, but can't work out exactly why .... plenty of food in the house. Half a tank of petrol, Laundry powder in,  4 and a half days of school left to go!

ldee2111

Thanks for the new thread @apple_muncher

Say ‘NO’ to the consumerism. Plan your food carefully and stick to your budget.

For half of this month we’ll be at the family caravan but I’ll continue meal planning. It works well for us most of the time and it keeps us in budget which I’ve slightly increased to deal with rising costs. Increasing budgets means decreasing savings but it has to be done. 🫤

Waste nothing – especially food and your energy.

Going to continue with not looking at my phone after 9pm. I started this only a couple of weeks ago and have been sleeping better. It may or may not be the reason. I’ve also started reading a physical book instead of phone at bedtime so it could be that too.

Identify your stress buttons

I’m stressed and drained by noise, drama, confrontation, being rushed. Most of which I can’t control but will try to reduce, step away, ignore, decatastrophise. 

Me-time is vital

I have downloaded lots of podcasts to listen to at the caravan. I’ll be taking time to listen to them instead of OH and DS 🤣 

Budget absolutely EVERYTHING. Do NOT use any coffee shops, vending machines, cafes, canteens unless you have specifically budgeted for it.

I’m still using the good ol’ MSE budget sheet. Budgets are set for 4 and 5 week months, and I tweak them when necessary. 

I have set our budget for the month and also the two weeks at the caravan. I’ll just admit now that ‘not using coffee shops’ is not going to happen. Cafés are one of the delights of going to the caravan. We’ll be doing day trips and although packed lunches will be common, so will cafés. 

Improve your money-saving muscles. Work them hard and often. Tell us all how you make/save those extra pennies.

Will do. If there’s one thing I like talking about to family and friends, it’s saving money. Not the regular savings bit. No. But if I find something on sale, get more off with a voucher code, alongside earning cashback, and gain points in the process, everyone hears about it. It could amount to 17p but I get excited! 😂 It’s become a source of amusement to my nearest and dearest. 

Kick your debt’s @$$! Set your Debt Free Date in stone, make it public (here), and plan how you will pay it off as quickly as possible.

My goal is for OH and I to be mortgage-free by 40. I care little for material things and I’m not interested in becoming ‘financially rich’ (whatever that means). My budget is based on paying for the essentials, saving for emergencies, saving for wee trips and holidays, and overpaying the mortgage so that we are free of that debt and can afford to see more of the world. That’s the bottom line. The debt free date is the year 2026!

Each and every spend is weighed up and, if made, is written down in the notebook that you always carry with you.

On a holiday budget for half of this month and I’m interested to see where our money goes on our trips to the caravan. I reckon it’s mostly food and fuel but I’m going to track it this time. It’ll be a useful exercise since we visit it a number of times a year and I’ll be able to see where the £ go.

Remember those who are worse off than you – we shall give £5 of food and toiletries to the foodbank. Or our time.

Will do. I’ve also got a bag of stuff to donate to the charity shop which I’ll drop off this morning before we leave for the caravan. 

Use up your toiletries before buying new ones. Got ones you will never use/finish?

I don’t have any. I only buy to replace. 

No Spend Days (aka Spend Free Days) shall number 16.

7 weeks of school holidays here! 2 of which at the caravan. I’ve saved for it but the challenge is always to stick to the budget and the bonus is to come home with some of it. 

wishus

I'm with you please, @apple_muncher

wishus

Budget is done for the month. I have a few fun days planned.
* a music gig we've had booked for 2 years
* another music gig someone gave me free tickets for. That's this Tuesday - a bit close, but at least it's not later in the month when I would have already planned my budget and might have to have said no. Quite exciting! I'm so lucky!
* the trip to Somerset we planned in May that we had to reschedule because of illness.
* a naming day for a friend's little boy.

Plus 2 freelancing travel things - one tonight and local. The other a little bit further away. 

June was travel crazy because of the funeral and trips to various places for work, fun and ceremonial goodbyes. I'm beginning to get a bit stressed out by travelling so much, but I also love seeing beautiful places, so I'm just trying to appreciate life and what it is throwing my way. I'm planning for that time when I can say I live near the sea - all the time. so long as I keep working on this, that will happen. Also, I think it's good to have nice things in the calendar, and it helps you to realise your life is full. No need for spontaneous pub trips, or 'treat yourself' cash splurges. 

I had a NAFLD diagnosis last month, so I am also working on exercise and healthy eating. The grocery budget is a bit tighter this month, but I'm sure it will work out fine. Lots of picnics on the way to places instead of expensive meals out. No pubs. No coffee shops. No splurges!

grandmanerd

Okay I know it's not my month but couldn't resist this
The 5 stages of Troubleshooting a Printer Connection
1    Turning the printer off and on again
2     Reinstalling drivers
3    Sacrificing a goat
4    Replacing the USB cable
5    Two goats this time?

and yes I know it's wifi now so no USB cable.

July Challenge Turtle Triathlon (that would be walking, getting up and down stairs and remembering to breathe for me)
1    Say NO to consumerism  (even when it's cute)
2    Waste nothing My money and energy are very limited so this is paramount. However there are various things happening/ need doing (hopefully from separate pots)
3     Identify your stress buttons (doing my best to ignore any stress - can't carry anything extra)
4     Me time One hour a day on Mindfulness exercises for starters (trying to put together 'an hour of' activities so all the bits get some attention
5     Budgets FOOD already have fortnightly veg box and roughly fortnightly recipe box, both will be cut back this month (not sure I need the salad box and medium veg box would suit me better). They're both on Standing orders, will allow myself £100 in addition to that for anything else. TRAVEL £50 (should be less) but at least one trip to Manchester (change of venue for family meeting/ intervention) and twice to Sale after the baby is born (expecting I'll be collected and dropped off but just in case), another trip to N Mc but being collected and brought home and similar for my lunch invitation and some help with stuff at mum's and bringing remaining stuff here. My world has shrunk and I want some cash to help me get to places I need or want to be (under the trees - a couple of places I can get to easily on the bus to get a tree fix). 

Mum's - have the go ahead to pay for a gardener, a cleaner, rubbish collection (will reclaim from the Estate so not my money).  

Repairs - Allowing £2000 for soil pipe (soil pipe replacement is £699, not sure if we need that or if the existing one can be moved, the other half is fixing the bit between the drain from the house and the soil pipe. Gate, 2 new fence panels + posts and fixings, upwards of £500 for those and then paying for the work to be done (possibly including wall rebuilding) - I'll allow £1000 and try to get other bits done too - someone to paint the bannister rail and balustrades and other bits (something else I can no longer do) if they could clear access. Things I may be able to do/ already have some stuff for - clothes line posts. Need to get some ideas/ estimates for the kitchen but may timetable that for next year (after the bungalow is sold/ DS3 and Beloved move out). It's not just a kitchen, everything needs re-doing (high ceiling and existing lighting are no longer viable).

£50 Social- no I can't strictly speaking 'afford it' but I need it. Puzzle book £3.10, film club donations £7, have been promising myself a day out for the last 2 -3 months. I may also book a holiday. I keep saying it and not doing it and it will soon be the end of the year and I won't have been anywhere (Last holiday with mum was twixmas break December 2019). Hoping there's still space on one in August at Shap Fell hotel - surrounding grounds have red deer and lots of other wildlife so if the 'trips' were too much I could just sit and watch wildlife. The longer I leave it, the harder it's going to be to manage physically (getting myself on and off the coach) and socially (not planning to have a personality transplant and be the life and soul of the party but just normal interactions like saying good morning and exchanging remarks over meals). Have started a series of books which feature the hotel (the lead character has built a house on the fell from the reclaimed stone of a fallen down building but leaves his car and quad bike at the hotel) so could buy one of those to read whilst I'm travelling/ there. Some of the 'inheritance' money needs to be spent on me not just essential house improvements (which are for me in that they will allow me to continue in my own home for as long as possible)

I think I've covered all the categories I need.

I   IMPROVE Hoping to make something for the new baby (already have a toy and wrapping paper + a bit for the new mother). Also have some embroidered bits to make 'mini birth samplers' for the other grandparents, will just need to add date and a name. Going to round up some spare coins and restart the 365 penny challenge (turbo charged). If I get my bus pass, I won't need a bag of coins for taxi money (there's at least £20 in there, I counted it in case I needed it to pay for a round at the funeral). Will count what's already in the penny tin as a bonus and will just add any £2 coins to £2 toucan. Need to open a savings account (unfortunately I don't qualify for the poor people's one (50% interest after 4 years would mitigate the interest the UC people are currently charging me. Will probably go with N building society. My bank branch closes in September but can manage online for now (some payments owed to mum's estate will be paid to that account)

K Kick debt's @$$Will do. Need to keep within my known income as far as possible (get red account book and check against payments DS3 has made to my bank). 

E    Each and Every Spend considered and noted.  I need to do this but some of the house repairs have been 'pending' for over 5 years (that's also when I did the last all through paint job). 

R   Remember those who are worse off. I still have lots of tins and dry goods so will check the bbf dates and give half of what I have to the food bank (except for things they have enough of) - decluttering and helping at the same time.

U   Use up all your toiletries before buying more. Will do (still using mum's - I used all the stored up unused bits from gift sets last year and am now on extras). Getting through about 20 per month (using all the squidgy bits like bite cream and odds and sods of ibuprofen gel - mum had them squirrelled away in the bathroom, bedroom and front room). May need to buy more antiseptic cream
but that's medical (welly scars have receded to bruises but I have new overlapping bits from losing weight including a rather nasty new patch).

N   No Spend Days 16 Will do my best - think most of my shopping needs to be delivered, freeing up time and energy (save walking for fun places).

I need to keep decluttering, tackling all the many items on my to do list (have got my new diary and wrote a list of 22 off the top of my head) and establishing basic household hygiene standards (original fly lady plan). Starting with the kitchen (just about ready to tackle the stairs now) and food. I might even venture out into the yard (need to make enough space to turn a mobility scooter) and do some planting.

Note about the new diary. Mine went awol for over a week - it's an inch thick so not easy to lose. I went to get a mid-year one last Saturday (I think, may have been the week before) but when I got home it didn't start yet. However when I checked the site recommended by polly  and beanie  they had last year's 17 month one in the sale - it goes up to this December and has lots of pages for contacts, websites, notes, a column for reminders on each page and everything from August 2021 to yesterday can be used for more notes (will assign each month a heading). It arrived yesterday so I'm going to have fun.

Siebrie

grandmanerd said:

Okay I know it's not my month but couldn't resist this
The 5 stages of Troubleshooting a Printer Connection
1    Turning the printer off and on again
2     Reinstalling drivers
3    Sacrificing a goat
4    Replacing the USB cable
5    Two goats this time?

and yes I know it's wifi now so no USB cable.

Funny story from my husband's first week at work in IT support (10 years ago):

a customer calls and says he has installed his wifi printer, but the prints don't come out. Husband spends an hour trying to troubleshoot and solve, until he figures out that the customer has actually installed the neighbour's printer!

Toni'sfriend

Afternoon, Everyone

Banking all done. Well, moved to appropriate bank accounts anyway.

Took the scenic route to Lidl this morning. We could have got most of what we needed from Aldi which is just around the corner but going to Lidl gave made Himself have a bit of a walk. Three and three quarter miles. Went to Aldi on the way back and donated to the food bank whilst we were there and we got quite a good haul of YS items. Amount spent all written down in my little notebook. 

Washing done and dried on the line and two rubbish items transferred to the bin.

Another goal to add is drinking at least a litre of water every day. Just about to have some healthy salmon and vegetables to help the weight loss along and am going to start reading a new series of books tonight. They actually belong to Himself but he won't mind.

Have a good evening.

BadBookkeeper

Happy July and happy Friday!

S - Didn’t say no to a cafe meet up after school as never happens and worried the other mum needed to instead of wanting to meet but all was well!  I was paid back cash for something I’d forgotten about & used that to buy drinks for ds & I.  Was actually a lovely hour so using this as ‘something that made me smile today’!

W - Keeping my phone off limits & surprised how much battery life is left!  It’s usually had a charge by now.  Recorded my mileage on my car so can see how many miles I do in a month to try to see if I can save fuel and not waste it on unnecessary journeys.

I - No alcohol will be consumed tonight.  Lost 1lb Felt stressed about a work issue but resolved it and greatly improved a process to save lots of time for my colleagues in the future.

M - Meeting another mum for a brew after work was really nice and the fact it’s Friday is making me happy!

B - My budget for July is ok.  Our groceries last night were £2.42 over and my photos were £0.89 more than budgeted so need to shave this off from next weeks groceries amount to even up.

I - Nothing really in money saving today.  Although spoke to DH about him giving DS pocket money and he’s going to do that and agreed a few jobs ds needs to do for it.

K - Will add declutter 31 items and hope to sell / donate most of them.  Nothing found today but will look for 2 tomorrow.

E - Analysised my spend today and as I had money I’d forgotten about my budget hasn’t been affected.

R - Will declutter and donate items

U - Job for tomorrow to sort toiletries 

N - NSD 0/16

have a lovely weekend 

pollyanna_26

MN sorry iy'ts going to take a while to get used to your new username. Fibro fog is thick and everything flaring for ue both so haven't been on the forums much.

I'm so glad you've found the diaries I mentioned useful. No idea how many yeard I've been using them but they have been really helpful tracking things or replying to a question from Superdoc, Consultants , Physios and many others.

Superdoc would ask a question youngest couldn't remember something said at another appt. He began to lean back in his swivel chair grinnedat me and waited . I did warn him one day he'd topple backwards and end up on the floor because we weren't  able to pick him up and would need to summon help.

I sometimes misplace the diary if there's a call on the landline from the surgery and I fish it out of the bag that is always with me when I go out. It will be a while before I remember but it always goes back where it belongs.

There are always a couple of A5 zip top pouches in there , PPC she has to pay for meds. When she got to 19 repeats each month sometimes anti botics , oral or injectable steroids and a few other things  from time to time . I'd pick up the steroid and he would then inject it.

i realised it was unsustainable on a monthly basis those meds weren't temporary. There was always going to be 19 regular another 2 were added to repeats a few months ago .I looked on the NHS site saw the Prescripition Prepayent Cerificate and ordered the annual one. Got the code no on the phone ordering from NHS as it was valid form my payment arriving which it had.

So i could collect the meds without the little plastic card they used then as proof.

Sat down and worked out the cost of the PPC and two months of meds . The PPC meant rather than just under 2 months cash her meds were covered for 12 months. I put a reminder in the diary with the expiry date so I could renew around that time for the following year.

Some people are aware of PPCs but many aren't so it;s always worth mentioning as if you aren't entitled to free prescriptions and are on quite a few meds on a long term basis the cost can be eyewatering.

Hope you get your future break at Shap a perfect place to sit and just stare and be in the moment and you haven't had a chance to just be for a long time.

Good luck to all those in this months challenge. I have done a few posts here but health hasn't been good latley . Constant flares , sleepless nights . Typing with one finger because all joints hurt.

I would like to join in at some point not in debt. Mum raised us with a fear of debt. "If you haven't got the Cash you can't afford it"

She was hyperventilating when I decided to move from a lovely recently built family council  house with my then 2 children whiich was just a few doors away from hers.

There were good memories but something awful had happened to my husbsnd and however we listened for his key in the lock as he came home from work we were never going to hear that again;

I begged mum a widow to come with us there would be plenty of room, lovely parks , open spaces and the sea. Couldn't tell her I'd begun to notice something on the corner of the Cul de Sac opposite her house. Drug dealing don't think it was the heavy stuff but over the years what had been a lovely, caring community was shattered and became notorious with drugs, gangs , knives and guns Real no go area nowadows.

My mum woke up one night after I'd moved over 20 miles away to find a man standing by her bed demanding her money. I got a frantic phone call  from my sister to telll me no idea if mum had phoned her or a neighbour had relised what happened .Sis was a few miles away and drove over grabbed mum and a few things precious to mum and took her home with her.

Mum never went back we fetched what she wanted. Furniture and lots of things went to charity or locals that needed them,

She got her own sitting room and bedroom in sisters big house.

Came here a couple of times with my favourite auntie but wasn't keen . She called it the windy city we get gale force winds whipping across the irish sea.

She was under 5 foot tall small but mighty growing up in the 50s and 60s between her and dad I learned OS life skills that helped me when things were hard in later life.

Cooking from scratch . make do and mending. My favourite auntie taught me how to piant plaster a wall and hang wallpaper.

The plasteing confued me but many years later when toxic second husband was finally gone after years of court cases and getting to know every police officer and ambulance crew by their first names he was finally gone after being told if he ever broke the injunction again to live at least 20 miles away from us and never come near again it wouldn't be the power of arrest which sent him to the police cells but a long time in prison, We never saw him again until a few years ago.

DD2 his eldest dd from out marriage got back in touch with him when she was older . We didn't.

Got an email from her a few years ago she'd been trying to to contact him and couldn't and was panicking. She has a very demanding job so in the end I relented and tried his phone without any reply.

Got a garbled message from her a few days later . She'd heard from his landlord who'd realised the phone was switched off so sorted it and checked contacts she was the most recent.

The ex had fallen out of bed in the usual drugs and alchohol haze. Fell against the locked door of his room in the attic of a multi floor victorian house- he didn't like being near people.

Landed against the door unable to stand up. It was three days before the cleaner heard him he didn't even allow her to clean his room.

She phoned the police who couldn't get into the roomas he was wedged behind the door. They contacted the fire brigade who had to put up their biggest exteding ladder to climb up the outsied to take out that tiny window, squeeze through move him out of the way and let the police in.

He was rushed to hospital with a suspected broken hip and other injuries . Police thought he'd been the victim of a brutal attack then spoke to me and I said no he was always the attacker and wife abuser and I have physical and mental scars to prove it Drs Police and Court records . I;d told dd to contact his older sister but she wouldn't he was verbally and physically abusing all hospital staff and patients and dd was exhausted trying to keep up with her work as a senior safeguarding officer for children.

She didn't want me to call his sister so I ended up saying tif I was at home the staff could call me. Most of the time I could hear him when they were telling me what was happening screeching shouting and threatening to kill people;

They tried switching his mobile on one thing he never forgot was the landline number here. I'd changed it so often I gave up as someone would always tell him it .

Sometimes he'd sound ok then what do you want? and foul language. Had another spell when they moved him to a rehab unit but had to tell dd I couldn/t do it any more I wasn't his wife anymore he;d damaged me fiirst 2 childern and her and her younger sister

Under a threat of prison for the rest of his life and his behaviour hadn't changed.Told her to walk away but she wouldn't and cut herself off after a while.

That was that until a few years ago when talking just before all contact was severed dd said she would need to find him some sort of care for when he left rehab where should she go?

I said somewhere decent in that area over 20 miles away from us. Make sure it isn't a dump he has lots of money savings. pensions and investments. That's what happens when you marry somenone move in to their home and never pay anything towards bills, food your childrens clothing . Spend a lot on drug and drugs but kbow their is money behind you.

A while later youngest and I were coming out of the Doctors heading to the little Coop on the sime site I noticed a very shrunken old man whizzing towards on a shiny red electric scooter. Something about him seemed familiar but I couldn't think who he was.

When we were heading into the shop he came out of the Drs with a prescription in his hand I said to dd is that R he was never her dad or dd2s just a biological dad who wrecked lives.

We went into the shop and  we stood waiting for a taxi he glanced at us but seemed to have no idea who we were. He was warned years earlier he would rot his brain and it looked as though it had happened.

That night eldest daughter phoned for one of our catch up checks she was living miles away through work.

i asked if she'd heard anything from dd2 who wasn't great at keeping in touch. She had so I asked if she'd mentioned R and where he was living. She said yes and she's very annoyed with her. DD2 had asked if she knew of any good care homes knowing her friends mum had had to go in one recently . it was a company with a very good reputation and friends mum was settled and happy. She'd looked it up and found a couple near where he'd been living as i'd recommended ,

However dd2 looked at them all and found a ground floor luxury apartment bright and sparkling interior with a private patio garden and he was living about 15 mins away from us as I and Superdoc tried over the years not only to keep on top of all her physical heakth problems . Tried to shield the younger ones from his behaviour as much as possible. When youngest got the 20 years in the waiting wrong diagnosis overturned and the correct diagnosis i had a wide knowledge of BPD by then and it seemed R had the Acting Out version hurting everyone else wheras youngest was Acting In blaming herself for everything and damaging herself physically and mentally.

I was furious he was coming out of our Drs, Somewhere he;d only visited once after he was ordered to by the court. He saw our lovely previous female GP who spent her time patching up my black eyes cuts and other injuries. I was pregnant and living in sunglasses She tried to presuade me to take anti depressants but i was afraid they'd knock me out and I needed to be alert.

So he went to see her once screamed at her , swore at then threatened her she told me he grabbed hold of her luckily she had an alarm under her desk and help came running,

So dd2 don't speak anymore. I still can't believe she moved him near us which is against that still in force court injunction.

i had a letter from the pension service offering me condolences on his death last December something I wasn't aware of he had an enhanced state pension and that was now to come tome. I refused it He'd never put his hand in his pocket as I worked and paid all the bills

He never missed a days work in his life  I dscovered after a while there was a system where he worked. 100% of those working that day would sign in then 50%  would duappear many to the local pubs but he headed back 20+ miles to here, When i asked what that was about he'd say he wanted to see what I was up to.

If it wasn't school holidays I was teaching. Those times he'd be lurking near the school playground.

I had countless letters his bank about his savings account I was entitled to work pensions ISAs allsorts, I told them all I wanted nothing. If any of that money can be donated to dharity send it Womens Aid or any charity helping those struggling in ine room barely able to feed their children or others in need, It's dirty money to me but they wont know that.

No idea if he was buried cremated or what  but the nightmare is over.

pollyx