Saving for niblings

kimwp

Hi everybody, I'm thinking of regularly putting money aside for my nieces and nephews for when they are older. I'd like to share it equally according to the number of siblings I have, (rather than equally between my niblings), partly because they don't know how many children they will have. Any advice on the best way of doing this?

I'm open to doing this through shares.

cloud_dog

I did it on a per niece and nephew basis, not sibling.  I would feel strange (wrong?) distributing money to the nieces/nephews based on the number of siblings e.g. two siblings with sibling1 having one child and getting 50% of your pot, and sibling2 having three children and each of them receiving 16.66%.  Wouldn't sit right with me, after all the money is for the nieces/nephews and it is beyond their control how many each sibling has, no? 

I put aside money in to an account in my name for my nieces and nephews (turned out to be 3 nephews).  When the first approached 18 I did a rough calculation including ongoing contributions and an element of growth (4 years gap between first and third nephew).  As there was 'only' four years difference I worked on the premise of gifting each the same amount that the first received (basically ignored inflation for the 4 year period).

Sea_Shell

I'm not sure you can do anything "officially" as an aunt or uncle.  

I get the "equal by sibling" bit BTW.  We have a 2/3 split of niblings.

If both myself and my husband gifted our £3000 "tax free" allowance each to our "own" niblings, then that would be fair in my eyes.


ETA - or do you mean you only have niblings on one side of the family, but you have more than one sibling on each.

50/50 between sides of family...but then equal between niblings within IYSWIM.

kimwp

Thanks both. I don't have another half's family to worry about. The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

Mojisola

kimwp said:

The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

Why would any of that need to be taken into account when you decide how to distribute your money?

If you divide it up so that each nibling gets the same amount from you, that's a fair distribution.

Sea_Shell

kimwp said:

Thanks both. I don't have another half's family to worry about. The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

That's a bit different if they are all your "blood" niblings.

In that case IMO they should all be treated as individuals by you, regardless of who their parents are or how well off (or not) they are, unless you're estranged or they somehow prove to be "unworthy" in your eyes as they become adults.

How old are they currently?   Do you already have an even relationship with them all, or are you closer to some?

kimwp

Mojisola said:

kimwp said:

The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

Why would any of that need to be taken into account when you decide how to distribute your money?

If you divide it up so that each nibling gets the same amount from you, that's a fair distribution.

So if one child has parents who are millionaires and the other child has a single parent on UC, I should give the same to both?

Sea_Shell

kimwp said:

Mojisola said:

kimwp said:

The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

Why would any of that need to be taken into account when you decide how to distribute your money?

If you divide it up so that each nibling gets the same amount from you, that's a fair distribution.

So if one child has parents who are millionaires and the other child has a single parent on UC, I should give the same to both?

In black and white terms...yes.

However, nothing ever is. 

But how you show your love for your niblings needs to fairly reflected, and so if not with "money" then with time or other "benefits" instead.

Do you have equal "emotional" relationships with them?


If they sense unfairness, as they get older, warranted or not, you could end up the "bad guy", which I doubt you'd want.

Mojisola

kimwp said:

Mojisola said:

kimwp said:

The parents (my siblings) have already decided they are going to split their time/money between the number of children they have, I'd just be following that.

Fair is a weird one, I could split the money equally between my niblings, but that wouldn't account for how much their parents earn and how many siblings they have to split their parents earnings between. To make it properly fair, I'd have to adjust the amount by the amounts their parents can/choose give them individually. Another consideration is what they want to do eg one could have a really cheap hobby that makes them just as happy as another's expensive hobby - what's fair in that case?

Why would any of that need to be taken into account when you decide how to distribute your money?

If you divide it up so that each nibling gets the same amount from you, that's a fair distribution.

So if one child has parents who are millionaires and the other child has a single parent on UC, I should give the same to both?

Yes - because you're giving your money equally to them.  You can't take into account all the various things that might affect how much money they have - trying to do so would be impossible!

xylophone

Why not ask your siblings to open Junior ISAs for their children to which you can contribute a regular monthly sum?

Jami74

kimwp said:

So if one child has parents who are millionaires and the other child has a single parent on UC, I should give the same to both?

And what if the single parent on UC is going without meals to save for their childs future. And what if the millionaire parents don't want to 'spoil' their children and want them to 'make their own way in life' so don't give them anything?  

If it was me then I'd keep it simple. One account in my name separate to all my other monies. Probably by the time the oldest has reached an age you want to give them some money you'll know how many there are altogether and can divide it roughly equally between them (or their parents).

It is a really lovely idea. I came from very poor parents, and had a wealthy aunt and uncle who did not have children. Any little something, at any stage of my life, would have been hugely appreciated. There wasn't much on the emotional front either. Maybe it was me.