How to manage as a single parent

first78

JReacher1 said:

I would reduce your hours but not as drastically as going down to 18.5 a week. 

Do you have a legal agreement with your ex that she will continue to pay £1k a month until the children have reached a certain age? 

The one advantage of being a social worker is that you can work anywhere in the country as they’re very in demand jobs. Would you be able to move to an area where you have a better support network?

Unfortunately my current employer only permits working either 37 hours or 18.75. If I was able to choose I'd probably opt for 28 hours a week. 

There's no legal agreement in place at the moment so I have the uncertainty of how long my ex will continue to contribute the current amount. I'm reluctant to push this in case she decides to contribute less. 

I honestly don't want to move area, I'm settled here and have no support network elsewhere. I also wouldn't want the upheaval for the kids.

first78

Twixty3 said:

If the £1k per month  from your ex is child maintenance do not add that to the calculator.  Only spousal maintenance needs to be declared for calculation purposes.  

Unless you have more than £16k in savings it seems likely that you would have an entitlement to universal credit on roughly half your current income. Be sure to enter what your pension payments would be too too. 

The £1k she currently gives me covers her share of the mortgage, bills and stuff for the kids...I'm not sure what it's classed as?

gwynlas

If she is still contributing to the mortgage then this needs to be formally acknowledged as she will be entitled to half the equity when it comes to sale. Most employers will accept reduced hours for carers so check this out with your union before approaching HR thet might have to consider this. Are you sharing childcare or having support from your family? My niece was in a similar situation but widowed and managed to work four days leaving her weekends free to be with the children.

squirrelchops2

I find it very strange your employer only allows those 2 working options.
If you work for a Local Authority have a look at their flexible working policy as if they are just saying this without knowing the policy then they are incorrect.

first78

gwynlas said:

If she is still contributing to the mortgage then this needs to be formally acknowledged as she will be entitled to half the equity when it comes to sale. Most employers will accept reduced hours for carers so check this out with your union before approaching HR thet might have to consider this. Are you sharing childcare or having support from your family? My niece was in a similar situation but widowed and managed to work four days leaving her weekends free to be with the children.

If we acknowledge it formally she may well decide to contribute less

At the moment my ex spends one day a fortnight with the kids and a few hours here and there but no overnight stays, so I'm the main carer. I don't have anyone else to support me.

sheramber

Your other thread says your mother lives with you.

elsien

Your January thread covered a lot of the same ground.
Have you and your ex managed to have any more discussions around the plans moving forwards, over the last few months since you split up?
Has this come more to the fore because things have changed again, or because it's taken a while for the reality of full time work and two young children to sink in?  Just asking because it's important to know whether you and your ex divorcing and splitting assets/shared childcare has been discussed at all?

first78

elsien said:

Your January thread covered a lot of the same ground.
Have you and your ex managed to have any more discussions around the plans moving forwards, over the last few months since you split up?
Has this come more to the fore because things have changed again, or because it's taken a while for the reality of full time work and two young children to sink in?  Just asking because it's important to know whether you and your ex divorcing and splitting assets/shared childcare has been discussed at all?

I think I completely avoided thinking about everything and it has all just come to a head recently as caring for the kids and working has started to impact upon me.

We haven't discussed divorce or anything as my ex doesn't share what she's planning or thinking. She has said she doesn't want me, the kids and my Mum to have to move but other than taking her word for it there's nothing in place that gives me peace of mind. She lives with her Dad and doesn't have the space to have the kids overnight and her working hours don't allow for her to do more than one of the school runs each week. 

first78

sheramber said:

Your other thread says your mother lives with you.

She does live with me.

sheramber

You said you didn't have anyone to support you. Does your mother give you some support?