The Mental Debt Struggle...

LittleMissDetermined

Great news on the compo @Keedie! Definitely proud of you for taking it off the balance rather than having it to spend

I think the timetable for your son will actually do him good in the long term, as it’s closer to college and ‘normal’ working hours which he will have to get used to when he’s a bit older!

@abaka has a great point about these first few weeks having an impact and you build habits that will be with you for a long time. It’s down to you to stick with them (unlike me, who’s back for round 3 )

Keedie

I’m hoping he warms to the concept of a longer school day even though he gets lots of gaps in between some lessons on some days. His old school had 1 hour 20 minute lessons and they had 4 main lessons a day. Whereas this online school has 40 minute lessons and follows a lecture style for lessons followed by independent learning and seminar style lessons. So it’s lots of short lessons. We’ll see how he goes with it, hopefully it’s not too much of a learning curve for him. 

I definitely agree that the initial habits at the start of the journey make all the difference for its success. I’ve realised that I’ve got a big issue with not achieving NSD, so that’s something I’m having to address as all those little spends adds up. I’m struggling to reach my target of 10 NSD for June. How do you guys achieve them? Do you plan out in advance what days you’ll be spending? I’m a bit of a loss for that to be honest. 

LittleMissDetermined

If I need to spend money, I then buy anything else I know I need so it means less spend days overall. It just takes time to start thinking like that. There’s also the fact you can set your own rules for planned spends so, I don’t include groceries or fuel for the car. 

Keedie

Thanks LMD, I think I do need to work it all out so that I have some type of plan. I get paid on 24 June, and I’ll have to start looking at what my commitments will be over the coming weeks so that I can do most spending on the same day where needed. 

I think I’ll exclude groceries and petrol as well, because they’re essential items. I’ve got to go food shopping tomorrow, so on that principle I can have tomorrow as a NSD. It’ll definitely be a mindset adjustment. I think I’ll create a colour chart like I have with my debt free charts, so that I can track my NSD. It’ll help to keep me on track and more focussed. 

Chrystal

Just remember when grocery shopping that it's 'needs, not wants' that constiture a NSD.  The reason a lot of people do them is because popping to the shop for a 'need'  ends up with a whole load of 'wants' being bought as well!  Try to meal plan, make a shopping list to cover the meals, and stick to it.  XX

savingholmes

I think if you work out all your working related costs - and include any commute time - and then work out your hourly rate - you can then say - that nandos took me x hours / minutes to earn. Do I really want to work just to pay for that. I find that helps me. Also setting a lot of budget categories - and having defined pots helps me.

On NSDs - I don't find they work for me. But I do think trying to stick to a limit for grocery shopping is helpful. The problem with exempting groceries from your NSD requirement - is that it's grocery spending that often leads to spending on non-essentials while we are out anyway... The best thing is to try and limit your overall trips shopping. I find getting food delivered is more effective as I can check my cupboards and take things out the basket if I need to. I know what it's going to cost before I check out.

Keedie

Thanks @Chrystal and @savingholmes that’s great advice regarding shopping, meal planning and spending habits. I do often fall into the ‘wants’ and not just ‘needs’ category of items when grocery shopping. Especially with that middle aisle in Lidl at times! So I think I’ll have to keep my NSD days as days that I don’t spend at all as I’m the type of person that’ll exploit a loophole if possible. Sad but true. 

I’ll do a meal plan tomorrow morning looking at what I’ve got in the cupboards and freezer, which admittedly isn’t that much. I mainly shop in Lidl as it’s cheap and across the road but they don’t deliver. But I’ll be shopping with £40 cash and leaving my card at home to prevent temptation or overspending. It’s so tempting to just keep spending when it’s on card, but with cash if I can’t afford it, I just have to put it back. I’ll need to use the calculator on my phone so that I can add up as I go along. 

I do need a proper budget, especially for food as that’s where I can often haemorrhage money. 

That MSE budget calculator spreadsheet is rather scary looking, but it has great categories of things I’d never even considered. So I’ll have to go through that properly so that I can start to use my Monzo pots more effectively. I like the idea of giving myself spending money each month, and so I’m tempted to open a Chase account as that also has a version of pots and does cash back and interest on round ups. Getting paid into one account and having all of my spending coming out from the same account isn’t working for me. I have a lot to organise. 

LittleMissDetermined

Chrystal said:

Just remember when grocery shopping that it's 'needs, not wants' that constiture a NSD.  The reason a lot of people do them is because popping to the shop for a 'need'  ends up with a whole load of 'wants' being bought as well!  Try to meal plan, make a shopping list to cover the meals, and stick to it.  XX

Exactly this. I always make a meal plan, then from that make my shopping list and then stick to it - hubby isn’t so good at the sticking to it part when he goes!

Keedie

I definitely need to meal plan. I think if I shop every Sunday I’ll have an idea about what is happening each week so it’ll be easier to plan. As he’s now at home I need to properly work out lunches as well as I usually just have a sandwich or fruit or forget about lunch. My sister said I should aim to have a rotational meal plan of up to 4 weeks. That way I just have to tweak each week based on what we’re doing that week, if we’re going to out etc. 

I think I’m a bit like your husband @LittleMissDetermined as I need to really practice sticking to the list 😬. Until I’m more disciplined, I won’t take my son shopping with me as he has a habit of dumping nonsense in the trolley or pressuring me for foolishness and random treats! Then when I’m more on the ball I’ll then train him to follow the list with cash as well. I’ll get him involved in the meal planning though, so that he can see the benefits of planning as we’re just currently winging it. 

savingholmes

Taking just cash is a great strategy.

On the pots - absolutely set up more accounts. For many years I had an account all my direct debits came out of and another account for spending. I then had other named accounts for different types of savings. More recently I set up extra just so I could switch them or take advantage of savings rates... I never leave more than the essential funds in the main account as otherwise I'm tempted to overspend. I currently have 5 bank accounts