The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Thanks @LittleMissDetermined, that makes sense actually to do the penny challenge in reverse. And as I get my cost of living bonus from work, I could start it from 27 October when the sealed pot was opened and end it on 26 October 2023 for the next sealed pot declaration day.

I've created a spreadsheet to show the totals I need to pay weekly or monthly into the Monzo pot for the penny challenge and I've printed it out and put it on the side of my bookcase so that I can cross it off as I make the payments. It's blue tacked next to my debt free chart, which is nearing 25% cleared! It's £18.15 to cover 27 October 2022 to 31 October 2022, and so I have transferred that to the pot now and locked the pot until next year. 

I enjoy having the sealed pot's total as a surprise, but I think I'll be more motivated to be thrifty if I can see my savings building up for something, even if I don't know what it will be used for as yet. 

Best of luck with your challenges, you sound like you've got a great process going 👌🏾.

Keedie

October 2022 Spending Summary

Starting Balance = £18,962.20 | Amount Repaid = £2,136.09 (9.63%) | Closing Balance = £16,826.11
Total Repaid to Date = £5,356.43 (24.15%)

Bank of Mum 2 (family holiday)
Starting Balance = £300 | Amount Repaid = £150 (50% repaid) | Closing Balance = £150 | Total Repaid to Date = £150 (50% repaid)
As I had a performance bonus from work, I was able to use the extra money to make a payment to my mum for our Butlins holiday this New Year's. I'm super excited that we get to go away with the kids for a few nights and they have a good New Year's Eve party, so that should be fun. This will be paid off by the end of November 2022.

Bank of Mum 3 (school fees)
Starting Balance = £4,750 | Amount Repaid = £1,400 (29.47% repaid) | Closing Balance = £3,350 | Total Repaid to Date= £1,450 (30.21% repaid)
This is the debt repayment that I am the most proud of! 💃🏽🎉🎉🎉 I know the bulk of it was a refund of £1,340 from the online school and was topped up with my usual £50 payment plus an extra £10 to give a rounded payment. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders being able to pay a massive chunk back to my mum's savings, as she's retired and I have felt very guilty about it all. This has also reduced my debt repayment timeline and this time next year, this debt will be down to £2,800 as my mum has kindly agreed that I will continue to repay this at £50 a month in 2023 and then increase to £100 in 2024. I'm so happy that I've paid off more than a quarter of this debt as it has been hanging over my head.

Barclaycard
Starting Balance = £9,154.58 | Amount Repaid = £275 (3% repaid) | Closing Balance = £8,879.58 | Total Repaid to Date = £708.22 (7.39% repaid)
The new direct debit of £275 is making a good difference to my balance and I'm glad that this debt is now in the £8,000s. It's still exceptionally high, but I feel better knowing that because I'm paying £275 a month, that every 4 months I drop £1,100. So by January 2023 the balance will be just over £7,600. I am still snowballing my debts, but I have a plan to reduce the Barclaycard balance even further once MBNA is out of the way, and my plans to get rid of MBNA quicker is noted below. This will see the Barclaycard direct debit increase from £275 a month to £377.33 a month from July 2023 and from November 2023, once Creation has been cleared, the direct debit will increase to £450 a month. The PAD Pot will shift payments from MBNA to Barclaycard from July 2023 also. 

Creation
Starting Balance = £917.33 | Amount Repaid = £72.67 (7.92% repaid) | Closing Balance = £844.66 | Total Repaid to Date = £218.01 (20.52% repaid)
This will only ever be the standard direct debit to clear this debt and it will be done by October 2023. It just ticks along in the background. As I had initially made overpayments, the final payment will be £45.29 and so in October 2023, the remaining £27.38 will be added to the Barclaycard direct debit and then from November 2023, the full value of £72.67 will be added to the Barclaycard direct debit.

MBNA
Starting Balance = £2,900 | Amount Repaid = £205.55 (7.09% repaid) | Closing Balance = £2,694.45 | Total Repaid to Date = £305.55 (10.19% repaid)
As I have allocated £500 a month to my debts, I increased the direct debit to MBNA to £102.33  and this was the remainder after the school fees, Barclaycard and Creation was taken into account. I managed to save £28.55 (57.10% of my monthly £50 target) in my PAD Pot and sent this over earlier today, and it's so nice to see all those round ups and balance tidying plus my weekly £1.80 going to good use 😁. My brother and sisters will be continuing to repay me and whatever they pay will go straight onto MBNA and is not included in the PAD Pot. I do however have plans to boost my repayments to clear this card quicker, but without impacting my current budget. As I am due to receive the universal credit cost of living payment in November 2022 and an increase in pay as one off cost of living support package from my employer, I should be able to use that money to get on top of my food shopping, buy a new car battery and increase the emergency fund and sinking funds so that I am not relying on credit. If after all of that, if there is anything spare, then I will put it in the PAD Pot. Also, any surplus above my allocated monthly budget (if I have a good freelancing month), will be split in half, with some going to my self assessment tax pot in my business account to get that to target and the remainder going into my PAD Pot. This should hopefully shave a little more off my balance so that it is cleared in June 2023 before I go on holiday instead of August 2023. Therefore, from Jul 2023, I will then be able to add the £102.33 MBNA direct debit value to the Barclaycard direct debit value and shift the PAD pot and any surplus earnings towards that debt. 

Sky Mobile
Starting Balance = £940.29 | Amount Repaid = £32.87 (3.50% repaid) | Closing Balance = £907.42 | Total Repaid to Date = £98.61 (9.80% repaid)
This debt forms part of my monthly direct debit for my phone bill and as I have changed the billing date and cycle, the direct debit for November 2022 will be a little higher and this will see a higher amount paid to the debt for the handsets. I'll have to re-jig November's budget once the final bill is produced to make sure that the Bills Pot has the correct amount in it, but although it's not a big increase, it's nice to know that the change in billing cycle will inadvertently lead to an additional debt repayment.

Debt Reflection

🎉 I am incredibly proud of myself, as my debt on 1 August 2022 was £22,182.54 and it is now £16,826.11! 🎉 To go from just over £22k to just under £17k in 3 months has made all of the stress worth it. Things will slow right down now, but I am happy to have had this repayment boost. I still get incredibly overwhelmed and feel really anxious at times about it all, but my debt is no longer consuming me or keeping me up at night, and I think that's a great thing to be able to say. I still worry, but not to the extent that I was able to barely function in the summer.

Having a target set monthly spending limit has really helped me to budget, and it still needs some tweaks here and there, but on the whole I feel more in control than I have done in a very long time. I still need to get a handle on food shopping and meal prepping and take aways. I realised that joining the grocery challenge wasn't really working as I need to go back to basics with meal and food prep so that I can stick to the budget. So that's my aim for November 2022 onward.

October, although very spendy with our joint birthdays etc, it has been a good month debt repayment wise thanks to that large refund. I also had the income boost due to that bonus and that helped me to plan things a little better. The £200 that I got in my sealed pot challenge will sort out my spending money for Brighton next week, so that I don't have to scramble for this, and I am aiming to continue being kinder to myself and will work on my novel next week, have a lie in and do some window shopping. I'm looking for some new work clothes and I have a £50 M&S voucher, so I will put that to good use 💃🏽...!

Keedie

My sister just paid me back £100 that I lent her from the emergency fund, so that has gone back into the emergency fund 😊.

AntoMac

Much to be proud of there Keedie. Nearly a quarter of your debt cleared in 4 months. 

[Deleted User]

Morning Keedie, I'm just popping by to say a massive congratulations to you for all your achievements with debt reduction and trying to get a nice balance of things. Be very proud of yourself xx Adele xx

Sun_Addict

Well done that’s an amazing amount to have paid off in such a short timeframe 👏 Lots to be proud of there.

LittleMissDetermined

Well done @Keedie! That's a huge amount in such a short time and whilst you say things will now slow down, if you're in a much better place financially and mentally this will really make a difference in how you're feeling  
LMD x

Keedie

Hiya everyone, thank you for all your support @AntoMac, @Adeley, @Sun_Addict and @LittleMissDetermined, it really does make all the difference to help me keep going. I am really proud of myself and it is definitely a mental boost that's for sure! As debt and mental health often go hand in hand, I've noticed that since I am trying to get a debt/life balance, I'm more in control of my spending as I am feeling better within myself.

I had my meeting with the Assistant Director today and told him that I don't want to apply for the role permanently, but I am happy to do it on an interim basis and he said that I can act up into the position whilst they recruit. I confirmed that I won't be going full time and I will go up to 4 days a week maximum and he said that I can think about whether or not a job share would work and to have a think and let him know what I would need in order for me to do the role either on an interim or permanent basis. He also said that he doesn't want me to feel pressured into applying and I said I don't feel that, but the reality is that our team structure and division of duties does not work and I can't do two jobs and the reality is that there is no one able to take over from my current role. So that needs to be sorted. 

I've been crunching the numbers and by increasing my working hours by one day a week will give me an additional £170 a month if I am prepared to do a full 7 hour day. I figured that would give me an additional £100 towards my debts and £70 towards things like family outings, clothes and other miscellaneous adventures. That extra £1,400 towards my debt from November 2022 to December 2023 will mean that by the end of next year, I will have cleared just under 72% of my debt and I'll have around £6,300 remaining!

I've been struggling to fit my work into 3 days a week, and was contemplating increasing my hours but things with my son have been so stressful I blocked it as an option, and I was getting so stressed and demotivated. But working more hours would ironically enable me to have time to pace myself and to have more variety at work, as at present, I am incredibly bored but stressed. I'm bored as the work that I do has no variety, but I'm stressed because there's so much pressure and time constraints and there isn't really anyone to share my workload with, or to have scope to take on more varied tasks.

I also have a meeting with my main freelance client on Saturday to go through a plan of what he needs and how things will work moving forward with the HR consultancy firm that I have procured to take over from me. I'm really looking forward to winding this role down as I've done it for 8 or 9 years and it's not working for me anymore. I've agreed to do the payroll until May 2023, once I can be sure how the new HR system will work and set up the new salary rates for the 2023/24 tax year and then I will hand all of that over to the Director's wife. I have a meeting with the consultancy company on Friday to double check what they need from me to get the ball rolling so that we can start the transition process. It means things will be super busy in the run up to Christmas, but then I am on leave from 16 December and return on 3 January, as the university is closed and I have extended my time off using some of my annual leave. So I'm hoping that by increasing my employed hours I can get a better handle on my workload and not be so burnt out trying to cram it all in, and that will leave me with the energy to get the freelance role handed over to the consultants. 

There's also been academic progress and we've turned a corner...🎉. He's done virtually no work over half term and had his CAMHS assessment yesterday and it's like the mental break from school/college and the opportunity to talk to someone and know that he is closer to getting some support, has given him more drive and focus. His English teacher at the college wrote in his book that he's a 'pleasure to teach', after she marked his work! I was so so proud of him. We're off to a college open day tomorrow to see if it's an option for next September. This college does the BTEC business as one year intense courses, and I want to see what their Level 2 programme is like in case he doesn't get the qualifications that he needs this year, he can do the Level 2 and then progress to the Level 3 afterwards. Things are starting to finally look up... 🤗.

I paid £5 into my emergency fund today and £1.80 into my PAD Pot, and so the balances for them are:

*emergency fund = £240.86/£500 (48.17% saved) 
*PAD Pot = £3.18/£50 (6.36% saved)

cinnamon123

Well done to your son Keedie! High praise from his English teacher - he should feel really good about this. Hope things go well tomorrow at the college open day. All of these things should make his future more realistic and hopefully encourage him to keep putting in the work.

A lot to think about regarding your job/adding an extra day but it sounds like you have this under control.

Finally, a well done to you on the debt repayment. You are staying the course and seeing the results. Fabulous!

Keedie

I think having teachers that motivate and inspire pupils is crucial to their aspirations, so I'm very happy @cinnamon123 that he got such high praise. He told me that she also told him that she is considering splitting the class as some are more able and she's going to find some extension work for him as he's flying through what she's teaching. His chest puffed up a bit when he told me that, I could see some of the light in his eyes coming back. We've still got a very long road ahead of us. But I'm starting to let my guard down and I'm daring to hope for a brighter future.

On the work front, I've decided to park any increase in my working hours or officially stating my interest in acting up into the position on an interim basis until after I have gone to Brighton next week. I figured having a break from work, from parenting, from adulting and from my daily life will give me the insight I need for the next step. I'm still leaving my job in December 2023, and the aim is to still be down to just Barclaycard (my Sky Mobile and debt repayments to my mum take care of themselves in a way). I just need to be realistic about how much I want to and able to take on board in terms of stress at work, versus how much I need to earn to get ahead of my debts so that when I leave work I can take a short break and then freelance and do the odd admin temping job to boost my income where needed whilst I finish clearing my debts.

I was too knackered to update yesterday, but I made quite a few payments which added up to £247.67 and I'll update all of this on the PAD thread:

£72.67 to Creation
£100 to car maintenance fund
£25 home redecoration fund
£25 to birthdays pot
£25 into my son's uni savings pot

I'm supposed to be freelancing today but I'm so sleepy. I woke up at 04:43 and I'm exhausted and trying to sort out life admin from my bed. Trying to get additional time for my son's mocks and chasing his SaLT (Speech and Language Therapy) referral is so draining and confusing, as the referral is attached to his old school and trying to get support from them now that he no longer goes there is difficult. I fancy a glass of wine tonight to compensate me for my efforts 😂.