The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

It really was a good feeling to be around like minded people @AntoMac. I think my family and friends think I'm a bit odd by how much I budget and work on my finances and none of them understand cash stuffing. My son said that he thinks my budget consumes me, but I disagree. I think having a careful eye on my budget means that I am able to enjoy my life and know that I don't have to worry about money. I am flexible enough to change things when needed. And besides, I enjoy numbers and budgeting. I guess we all have out own interests...

The savings are definitely taking shape @Makingabobor2, and I find that putting a small amount aside for sinking funds means that I have more to put into savings challenges which makes saving more fun. 

I've definitely been resting this week @Newstartforme and it's made a big difference. I'm still in pain and tired, but I'm glad that I went to the event. 

For the first time ever, I had some money left at the end of the week for both my spending money and the food shopping money. I do need to do a big food shop this week as everything is low, but that did put a smile on my face. And I put £60 into savings challenges today. So that's coming along too. 

Also, I've made a decision about driving. It's definitely not for me and so I'm going to be selling the car and seeing out this term of insurance (as I would have to pay for it anyways). So no car from September 2025. I won't be buying an automatic and I will stick to my original plan of just getting ubers, using the London Taxicard service for discounted travel and hobbling around with my freedom pass. I feel relieved and my budget will be grateful not to be funding a car anymore considering that I barely drive. My son will be riding around with his moped, so he'll have transport. 

My sister has asked me to teach her about cash stuffing, so I'm really excited about that. I think her interest was piqued when we were in Birmingham and I was telling her about the event and showed her some YouTube videos. So that's quite exciting 🤗.

Keedie

I went to a really good course this morning with the recovery college called Harnessing Emotional Contagion for Recovery. I learnt a lot about how emotions are emitted and received between people and how this can have positive and negative impacts and how to navigate that. I'm hoping that it will help me with managing my bipolar moods, when I am feeling either depressed or hypomanic, or in that dreaded mixed episode when I am experiencing both states. As when experiencing any of those episode, it's like I become an emotional sponge and I pick other people's aura and mood and it really impacts me. So I'm trying to be more resilient. I'm hoping that in getting a better grip on my mental health, it will help me to get back on track, to return to work and to not be emotionally spending and getting caught off track.

Last week I was under budget, but this week is not looking very good at all 😬. I took my son and his girlfriend out for lunch today as they had their last exam and the academic year is officially over, and that was more expensive than I thought it would be. And on Sunday it's my nephew's birthday and so we're going out for a family meal. And I also need to get some nice flowers for my dad's grave as it will be Father's Day. So I need to be doing some number crunching over the next few days. 

I think I've got a good handle on my overall budget, but I need to curb my spending. That's where I'm getting myself into trouble. I'm still tracking everything, even though it's not the most positive picture at the moment. But the aim is to still be able to stay within the actual monetary amount, even if I have to shuffle things between categories at times.  

Anyways, I'll see how it goes...

AntoMac

Give yourself a bit of credit for being under budget last week Keedie, even if you’re going over budget this week. 

This might be a terrible suggestion but maybe cut back on the flowers for your Dad, or at least defer them to a week when you’re doing better budget/spend wise. It might be a non negotiable for you but it’s just a suggestion.
Overall you’re doing very well, even if things are a bit spendy at the moment.
Do you have a way of making your money more difficult to get at when you’re in an overspending phase.
I have very much got into Premium Bonds over the last year or so, as it’s a way of making savings difficult to access easily as it’s a bit of a faff and a time delay when cashing them in.
It seems right and kind to me to treat your son and his young lady to lunch as an end of term treat.
Keep going. You’re still winning

KajiKita

I must admit I had a similar thought about the flowers. Could you forage some grass stems and wild flowers to make up a little posy to put on your Dad’s grave, so you can still have a moment with your memories of him and leave him an honouring that you have made yourself? 

KK

Keedie

I'm not remotely green fingered @KajiKita, so I'd only be able to scrounge a sad looking offering if I was to try and make something for my dad's grave 😂. I'm okay to get the flowers for Father's Day as it comes out of my gifts pot and I get them in Lidl so they're not expensive. On his anniversary, Father's Day, his birthday and Christmas we all go there together and split the flowers amongst my mum, siblings and our children and everyone places a couple of flowers on his grave as a sign of respect. We usually do this in age order, either from oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest. The kids love picking their flowers and choosing where to place it, as it's usually a bunch of flowers that all get mixed together. At his funeral, all of the grandkids placed flowers on his grave from oldest to youngest, so we've just stuck to it as a tradition now. So I can't not get flowers, but it wasn't a terrible suggestion @AntoMac, so thank you for thinking of solutions for me.

As for this week's budget, this has all gone out of the window that I've now given up. I had to pay £70 to get the disc lock taken off my son's moped as I put it on incorrectly and we couldn't remove it as the key couldn't fit between the spokes. The mechanic had to come to our flat with a metal grinder and a hammer and broke the key and helped us to reposition it. And the lock barrel in the ignition was faulty and so that was fixed yesterday for £140 😫. So I'm just going to write off this week and recalibrate my remaining budget for the next few weeks. And learn from the lessons and suck it up.

I've still logged all my spending, even though it isn't pretty, as I don't want to fall out of the habit or hide what is really going on. I think I need to go back to having Sunday Summaries, as they were helpful to keep me on track and accountable. Especially as I'm going to the Phillipines in November 2025 with my son, to meet up with my brother and his new wife. So I need to get saving, saving, saving...

I've worked out how to reduce my monthly budget moving forward, so that it reduces from £2,250 to £2,000 a month including £150 to the emergency fund and £50 to Help to Save. I figured that if I can work towards earning £2,000 a month across all sources of income, then I'm more likely to achieve that, and I can over time rebalance the issues with the overspending in recent weeks. I'll have to look into premium bonds, to see what they're about AntoMac as I've heard of them but have no clue how they work 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Baileys_Babe

How frustrating about the moped related costs.

Is the Philippines trip a new plan or was it always on the horizon? How much money will you need?

Makingabobor2

Wow the Phillipines sounds like it will be an expensive trip. Good luck with saving for that. 

Keedie

The Phillipines is a new trip. My brother got married in February 2025 over there but I couldn't make it to the wedding. So me and my son are going in November 2025 for a holiday and to meet his new wife and her family. I think it'll be around £1,200-£1,300 for both of our flights as we're not travelling at a popular time. The apartment complex where my brother's flat is, has units for short term rentals, so that will be around £275-£300. My son will be renting his own one bedroom flat, so he'll need to find the money for that and his spending money. I'll probably need around £800-£1,000 for spending money for food and activities as we'll go to another Filipino island for a short break within our holiday.

So I reckon £2,500 in total. At the very maximum as I'll be living like a local and not a tourist and we'll be going for 2 weeks. The 50 Envelope Challenge will approximately cover our flights, as it's £1,275. I dunno what I'll get for my car when I sell it, but that will go towards spending money. My brother is going to help me sort out the logistics this week when I see him, as he's back home for a few weeks. Once I know roughly how much it all is, then I'll have a proper savings plan in place. And will see if it's properly feasible. 

Makingabobor2

Don't forget travel insurance, and to declare all medical conditions. 
Flight tickets get dearer the closer you get to departure as well. So book as soon as you can. 

Cherryfudge

I remember you saying about your brother's wedding. It should be a lovely trip, so any money saved towards it is probably an investment - in your family, your future, in memories. Perhaps you could find a freelance project to do to supplement what you can save? After all, it might make it more fun if you think of it as paying for some meals while away!