The Mental Debt Struggle...

Sarahwithlove

Enjoy your trip! 

Keedie

I had a really great time in Brighton, but it was a bit spendy. I didn't splurge too much on food though, so that's something. Even if I did have to eat out every night as I just had a bed & breakfast. But I got a bit excited in M&S about their thermal socks, leggings and tops (such a riveting life I live 😂). Anyways, that was a small fortune but cheaper than Uniqlo, so not complaining there. 

But I had a really good time and I managed to have some quality time with myself and to go on short little walks (as it was hella cold due to the snow and hilly). I had quite a few naps and I watched some TV, YouTube and just read and thought about what I want from 2025 onward. I am officially now unemployed as my last day of service was on Friday, and I updated my Universal Credit claim today to reflect self employed only, as I am no longer self employed and employed. I felt rather free doing that. Though I'd be lying if I said it wasn't all daunting too. Good scary though.

My son seemed to have missed me as he's been very helpful since I've got back. We did a loose meal plan today and went to Lidl and he carried everything up the stairs and I didn't have to lift a finger, so that was nice.

But what is not so nice, and most definitely not very MSE is what I discovered after I put the shopping away... As I was standing in front of the cooker, sorting out the bread to put in the toaster, my knees felt a bit warm. And I was a bit confused so I stepped back and it got cooler, and then I stepped in front of the cooker panicking. I looked at all the dials, and could see that the oven was on 's', which is below 1, like a simmer I guess. So I turned it off and just stood there in horrified shock. Considering that I haven't been in the kitchen to cook anything since I returned on Friday lunchtime, I just knew this had been on for DAYS! I immediately asked my son when he last used the oven, and he said when he his girlfriend came over and they made pizzas. THURSDAY night! 

He think she turned the oven down instead of off. As it turns off in the opposite direction. It's very old and it's the same cooker we've had since 2007, so I know that he knows how to use it. I literally cried inside. It's so dangerous that it's been on all this time, and we had no clue and it's so f**king expensive. Arrgh! 🤬. I never have the heating on in the kitchen, as it gets hot in there too quickly as it's a galley kitchen and the heater is next to the only space that I can store a bin and a hot bin and its contents is something that no one wants to live with. I thought the kitchen was a bit warm, but I've had the heating on from 08.30am to 10pm everyday as it's been so cold and my joints are stiff and swollen. The boiler is in the kitchen cupboard and that door was open, so I just incorrectly assumed the kitchen was lukewarm because of that 🫣. I think that has well and truly wiped out the credit I had in my Octopus account. Along with running the heating for several hours a day as it's been so cold.

My poor brain has been trying to figure out the impact of everything on my budget since I am no longer working and my heating buffer has probably evaporated. Anyways, my time away made me realise what is actually important to me, and that it will take a couple of months for things to level out benefit income wise, as I wrap up my freelance work. So I reduced the projected income by £100, and I have been able to make it all fit which is a relief. I've done the budget based on a 5 week month, so that I automatically generate a surplus that I can allocate to other (and often more fun) things during 4 week months (which is most months). Fingers crossed that strategy helps me out in the long run, even if things are a bit tight for a few months...

beanielou

Glad that you enjoyed your break. 

Sorry about the oven though. 

Cherryfudge

The break sounds as though it was just what you need, and a good way of marking the start of a new era.

That's quite scary about the oven. We discovered our cooker can be turned on just by brushing against the controls if we lean over. When it first happened we thought we'd left it on but then I noticed it happening and it's worrying. Nowadays I insist on putting it off at the wall. Could yours be similar?

If it's been on all that time, it will at least have kept the temperature up a bit so your heating won't have come on as readily, and I think you said your son prefers the heating turned down a bit, so there may have been less fuel used than you think. I hope so, anyway.

badmemory

It will have been going on & off too as it will just maintain the temp & the lower the temp set the less it needs to come on to maintain.  So hopefully not as bad as you fear.

Baileys_Babe

@Keedie you should be able to check your electric usage in the octopus app, you can toggle between kWh and £ at least then you would know how bad the damage is.

Keedie

I went to my old workplace today to return the laptop charger that I had forgotten to give to my manager when I was returning the rest of the equipment before Christmas. It was very cathartic and so great to see my old team again without my manager being there. She's on leave hence I returned the charger today and not when she's back in next week.

I was running late as I just couldn't get myself up and out of the flat, and then once I left, I suddenly had a sense of urgency to get there ASAP and kept delayed on my journey by one thing or another. But it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened! Firstly, my bus was delayed, and I missed my first tube train. Then when I was changing tube lines, the lift door wouldn't close so by the time I went to change trains, I'd just missed my connection. As I was about to board the next one, my son called me to tell me that there had been a stabbing outside of his college and that he's okay as he was in his maths lesson and didn't witness anything. So I missed that train to check in with him properly and as I arrived at the final station, the bus I needed was just pulling away from the bus stop so I had to walk to the office. When I finally arrived, none of my team were there as they had just gone into a meeting, so I hanged out with some other colleagues and was about to just leave, but something told me to try and find my team. So I texted my friend and she told which floor they were on and I didn't have a swipe card anymore, so I had to hang around until someone let me in (very slack security going on there as no one knew who I was and they just gave me access anywhere and everywhere). I'm not good at reading floor plans, and so I got a bit lost and then finally found them. And it looks like I was inadvertently right on time... 

My Deputy Director had called a meeting with them to see how they're all doing, and she was on Teams and they were all in a meeting room. She said I could sit and join the end of the meeting and so I did. I didn't say anything as it wasn't my place to. They raised a lot of the issues that we have had with our manager and the management structure in general. And it looks like the Deputy Director was taking it all in and seemed increasingly concerned by what was unfolding. Apparently I had walked in just as the meeting at changed topic and they were starting to voice their concerns and were a bit timid about it. But when I arrived (allegedly looking all peppy and fresh faced due to my unemployment status 😂), they felt more confident to ask more questions and raise more concerns. I wasn't even aware that I was nodding in encouragement, but they said it helped to have me there. Although I'm sad to hear how bad it was for some, I felt vindicated in how I felt about the management dynamic and why I left the job in the first place. When the Deputy Director signed off, we had a little natter amongst ourselves and that was rather enlightening too. It turns out that 2 out of my 5 ex-colleagues in that meeting are actively job hunting and filling in job applications... not remotely surprising at all.

Anyways, I did check the Octopus app (thanks for the suggestion @Baileys_Babe), and it looks like I might have overreacted a bit 🤦🏾‍♀️😂. It doesn't look like a crazy spike in the gas bill after all, and I think my son was the culprit and not his girlfriend. As the spike in gas usage shows on Saturday and she wasn't there. So he must have done it when he put his cookie dough in the oven after we got back from Lidl. And I turned the oven off on Sunday, and everyday looks about average either side of that spike. So the credit should hopefully be protected. In fact when I logged onto my account it showed £292.51 in credit and suggested a monthly payment of £89.05, but I've left it at £100.

I tried my hand at batch cooking yesterday and it wasn't actually that bad. I only made macaroni and cheese, but I made enough for dinner yesterday and today and I made 3 mini ramekins of mac and cheese and they are in the freezer. I also made a big salad which made cooking dinner so much easier today. I'm going to save up to buy Souper Cubes or a cheaper alternative, as I've been watching a lot of people on TikTok and YouTube doing batch cooking and actually cooking and portioning food in those silicone trays. They can go in the freezer, microwave or oven. I definitely need to portion things so that I just have a portion to defrost and reheat. It'll also make it easier to store lots of individual portions instead of actual containers in the freezer. One lady even used a vacuum sealer to make her portions airtight so that they last longer and don't get freezer burn. I can't promise to be that organised, but I am aiming to do better than I currently am.

My goal for January 2025 is to have each area of my flat tidy and clean. This morning I spent some sorting out my room that felt really nice. I figured I can then work on properly decluttering room by room in February 2025. My sister is giving me her old corner sofa, and so I need to repaint the living room (and by 'I', I mean my son and nephews), so that the room is ready to be rearranged to accommodate her sofa at the end of February 2025. I've had the paint in the hallways cupboard for about 3 years, so I need to see if they've gone funny or not, so I know whether or not a paint job really is on the horizon. I had wanted to replace my laminate flooring before I ever changed my sofa, but considering my lack of employment and funds that ain't gonna happen. So I'll stick to a decluttered and minimalist vibe (and possible fresh paint), and call it a day. The flooring can wait until 2027. As 2026 will be about getting back on my feet financially and in proper employment after this hiatus (however long it lasts).

Keedie

I forgot to say that I have my cooker switch on all the time @cherryfudge as it has never occurred to me switch it off. The only thing I switch on and off is the washing machine. But it's good that you won't be accidentally turning yours on.

I was talking to the parents today in the whatsapp group chat from when my son was at that online school. One of the mums said that leaving ovens on is apparently an issue with uni students, and so there was a product being tested that would target young adults from aged 18-22 and those with dementia, as these two groups of people are kitchen liabilities in terms of forgetting to turn off the oven. Made me wonder if I had ever done something like this at that age, but not remembered... 🤔.

Cherryfudge

I think someone's on to something with that product! Who knows what any of us have forgotten, but we got away with it. I once went out for the evening and left the iron on. Nowadays I buy irons that turn themselves off after a short time without use.

Keedie

Just about in the middle of recovering from a stupid flare up. I dunno what brought this one on, but it's a horrible Chronic Fatigue Syndrome one. I still detest the fibromyalgia ones, but the pain and fatigue of those I can grit my teeth through. The CFS ones leave me so wiped out and unsteady on my feet and I'm prone to falling or being too weak to function properly. Eurgh. Stupid body.

Anyways, I've done a nice cash stuffing thing for myself. I've been trying to use cash more to curb my spending. And my little coin savings are all starting to add up which is very exciting. But that's not the good bit. I brought a small little coin purse on Amazon that has two zip compartments, so that I can separate my spending money from household spending for things like food, travel etc. I also brought these RFID sleeves for my cards from Amazon (they came in 9 different colours so I can colour code each card), as this is only a coin purse and so it doesn't have that protection to stop hackers cloning your card etc. It's the simple things in life that please me 😂.