The Mental Debt Struggle...

Makingabobor2 · 2 January at 5:06PM

Excellent saving bonus. Not heard of that one before. Will be worth having after the 3 or 4 years

Keedie · 2 January at 10:56PM

Yes, @Makingabobor2, the Help to Save is a very good scheme. You can save between £1 and £50 a month and at the end of two years, you get 50% of whatever you've saved as a bonus, paid into your bank account. Then if you save for the next two years (Years 3 and 4), then you get a bonus of 50% of the value between your highest balance during Years 1 and 2. So I have to leave the £1,200 that I have saved in there, to get the next £600 bonus.

It means that I will have saved £2,400 and will receive £1,200 in total in bonuses. So no matter what I have going on financially, I'll always make sure that the £50 a month is part of my budget.

Makingabobor2 · 3 January at 9:01AM

Keedie said:

Yes, @Makingabobor2, the Help to Save is a very good scheme. You can save between £1 and £50 a month and at the end of two years, you get 50% of whatever you've saved as a bonus, paid into your bank account. Then if you save for the next two years (Years 3 and 4), then you get a bonus of 50% of the value between your highest balance during Years 1 and 2. So I have to leave the £1,200 that I have saved in there, to get the next £600 bonus.

It means that I will have saved £2,400 and will receive £1,200 in total in bonuses. So no matter what I have going on financially, I'll always make sure that the £50 a month is part of my budget.

Looks like I wouldn't qualify for that....that's a shame. X

Keedie · 3 January at 1:12PM

That is a shame @Makingabobor2. I'm not sure if there are any similar schemes? But I'll have a look and let you know.

I went to my weight management group yesterday and it was quite fun. Not a lot of people turned up, probably because like me they fell off the bandwagon over the festive period and thought they might not get back on track. Or perhaps they're on holiday or visiting friends and family. But with the smaller group it was actually quite nice. The physiotherapist had us doing dance exercises, really gentle but to quite upbeat music. I had to modify some of the movements as I can't be flinging my arms around in the air as I have restricted movement in my right shoulder, but I managed okay. But today, I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I'm really sore and tired 🥴. So maybe, I need to do frequent bouts of mini activity, so it doesn't send my body into shock and shut down 😂. The physio was telling us "motion is lotion" for the joints, so I definitely need to do more.

I was meant to get my car sorted today as both headlights are gone, only the fog lights work. The casing for the headlights are cloudy and look like they have limescale on them (best way I can think to describe it), and so they need a deep clean whilst the bulbs are being replaced. I saw the mechanic the other day and he said £110 for everything. I've saved £180 in my car maintenance fund so far, so it's nice to know that I don't have to accumulate extra, and the surplus will just go towards the MOT & Service due in April. I had to cancel going to the mechanic today as I'm just too wiped out and I can't be bothered to trek home on the bus and then go back out again to pick up the car. My mobility is a bit shaky at the moment after gyrating with the dance aerobics last night 🤣.

Anyways, I have my bipolar support group this evening, so I do need to rest before I do that. My son is coming with me today for the first time, and I'm both excited that he wants to share this with me, but nervous at the same time. He told me he has no intention of speaking, he just wants to listen and learn, and I told him that's perfectly fine. Sometimes I barely say two words and sometimes I talk a lot. He seems curious enough to learn more about living with bipolar, and hopefully as a carer, he'll get something out of it as well. As bipolar shapes both of our lives, whether he realises it or not, and his childhood has been impacted by me being unwell. It takes so much out of me everyday to provide as much stability for him as I can, and it's often very draining, and I've done my best to shield him from everything so he doesn't worry unnecessarily. But he's an adult now, and so he's able to see what people have to say, and learn from other people's experiences, as he only really has his perspective of me, and some of his friends have parents with bipolar, but all of their experiences vary.

Finance speaking, I had a bit of an epiphany last night. I was finishing off that annual budget spreadsheet, as there was some things I had forgotten about. And I had a look at what was really important to me, and I managed to include everything within the budget; bills, debts, savings, care costs, holidays, spending money for the both of us, transport costs and I will have one sinking fund at a time. For now, the focus is on car maintenance and saving money for the MOT and service. Once that is done, I'll focus on something else. It feels like a lot less pressure now that I am not trying to do too many things, and it means that I am able to be in budget. So now, any freelance work that I am able to do, will act as a budget buffer/savings, instead of me trying to play catch up every month. It's amazing how a shift in perspective can make such a difference. I feel lighter now.

badmemory · 3 January at 3:56PM

I wonder if your DS is now old enough to realise that ignorance is often far more stressful than actually knowing. As in ignorance is definitely not bliss.

Keedie · 7 January at 12:24PM

I'm all packed for Brighton. Didn't really get around to sorting out my room though. But I can live with that. I've been resting instead and then used that energy to wash my hair, so I won't be walking around with a knotted afro.

The last few days have been rather interesting. My son seemed to really enjoy the bipolar group and he spoke despite saying that he wouldn't. I was really touched by the profound things he was saying and he acknowledged that I have my struggles but he is proud of me for battling on every day. I must admit I was nervous @badmemory
that he wasn't at the stage where ignorance is not bliss, but he seems to have taken everything in and I can see that he's a bit softer towards me. He's heard other people's accounts and how we all struggle with life and seems to have developed a new found respect for me. I'll definitely take it 😂. He also said he wants to come back again, so that was nice to hear.

I spent the weekend attending a free summit on Zoom about productivity and goal setting, and it is helping me to figure out my next steps for 2025. It's starting to hit me that I am unemployed and I don't have much of a plan, which isn't a bad thing, as I just need to concentrate on healing and recovering. But I do need to structure my days somehow or I'll mentally unravel.

Anyways, I'm off to Sainsbury's to get a few bits and pieces for my son whilst I'm away. He insists on doing his own shopping and working out what he wants to eat etc, but he's not been feeling too well and so I don't imagine he'll do anything today. So I'm going to get some nuggets and chips so that he can eat something and not waste the money on take away. Then I'll be off to get my train.