The Mental Debt Struggle...

Cherryfudge

I meant to say, I think the slow cooker is a great idea! I love ours, and as you say, you can always cook several portions at once then freeze some for another day. We can cook a chicken in ours: it comes out amazingly tender and moist, but casseroles and curries are probably the classics. Also don't be tempted to lift the lid while cooking - you need to add about 15 minutes cooking time for every sneaky peak!

Sun_Addict

I’ve got the same Salter slow cooker, I’ve had mine a while. I only use it for me but batch cook in it and freeze the leftovers. 

Makingabobor2

Love a good slow cooker for some batch cooking, can do so much with it. Think that and my air fryer are my most used appliances. 

Sorry to hear you are starting to feel ill again @Keedie. Don't know if its been mentioned before, but have you got Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life.  I know you like some of the self help stuff etc.  I have it and hadn't referred to it for a while and yesterday I went for a Reiki session and was talking to the therapist about a particular health issue that has got worse lately and she looked it up in Louise's book and I was quite staggered at the reason it gave for this particular symptom. When I thought about it, it was spot on and exactly the problem that I had had lately that had been causing my stress. I just hadn't thought about it causing this particular physical problem. So now I've decided to let the stress go and not worry about it, I feel so much better.   Anyway, it might be worth a read if you think it might help. You can often find it 2nd hand on the big Bay of E....that's where I bought mine. 
Take care.x

Keedie

Thank you everyone for the comments and encouragement and sorry for the slow response, I've been rather sluggish these last few days. I've not done much of anything, but I am starting to feel better. But my controlled spending took a bit of a nosedive in terms of take aways or frozen junk food as I'd not been able to cook, and so I've got to be more disciplined moving forward. 

The carers meeting was really good and I met people that gave some great advice and support on how to help others with their needs without losing yourself.  I also found out from the lady from Mind, about all of the support within my borough and I will be making more of use of the groups and counselling support etc that there is. I didn't feel so isolated after going there. It's hard to look after someone who is very dependent on you, and although I've always just seen it as parenting, I didn't realise that I classified as a carer. But everyone else there was a parent and so that made me feel better. So I'll definitely go again.

My brother has been teaching his son how to cook on a Monday, Wednesday and Saturday evening. So I'm going to send my son round there on a Monday so that he can join them. He's determined to go to uni and he needs to know how to look after himself. He's a lot better with his budgeting in recent months, and said that when he gets a job, he wants me to get him a money jar (like my bees one) so that he can put his change in there. So I think he'll be okay in that respect, but to be able to properly budget he needs to know how to cook and clean properly. He used to enjoy helping me to cook and clean, but when I got sick after my operation, I felt too guilty to keep asking him for things and so he's a bit behind in terms of those independence markers at his age. I can see the pride on his face when he's done things like wash his clothes without needing to double check he's got the right washing machine setting, or made his own dinner without needing prompting. He's excited about the cooking lessons. So that's a good thing. He even looked at the slow cooker and was impressed by it. I think we'll have fun thinking of some things to cook in there. Thanks for the tip about not being too curious and taking a sneak peak and the impact on cooking times @cherryfudge. 

Work wise, I'll no longer be going into the office next week. I don't know when I will go in. I was supposed to be there on Tuesdays, but the custom made special chair that I need, to properly support my back and reduce pain etc and was recommended by OH has not been ordered until yesterday! It takes 4 to 6 weeks for it to be made and delivered, so I don't see the point of going into work and leaving in agony simply because the chair wasn't ordered and delivered, despite the management team being given the information early February before I even started my phased return to work 🙄. My days of over compromising are over. 

I'd accepted that I was going back into work, embarrassment and all @PennysIntoPounds, but I'm not complaining about the time working from home being extended because of the chair issue. No one knows how much I've been fighting for us to have equality, to have more realistic workloads and shaming them into action. They all just know that I got stressed, mentally unwell and I've been off for a while. One of my friends that works in another role and at a different campus, will be at my campus on Tuesday, so it would have been nice to have lunch with her on my first day back in the office. But that won't happen now. Which is a shame, but I can meet her outside of work.

I'd looked into the taxi to work service from access to work @beanielou and it said that you qualified if you couldn't use public transport. But I can. I just take my time. No one answers their phone line at Access to Work though, so I will try again next week. I have disabled parking space on campus and whilst I've still got a car I'll use that. 

I'll check out You Can Heal Your Life, thank you @Makingabobor2. You always give such great recommendations 🤗.

Keedie

Oh I forgot to say that I will definitely be signing up for union. They wouldn't have been able to help me whilst I was on sick leave as it was already a case, but for the duration of my time with my employer I do need some protection and support.

Aimingforthegoodlife

I think it is a great idea to join a union, seems like a very sensible idea given all you have been through with this company, totally ridiculous about the chair as well. Proud of you for sticking to your guns and refusing to go back, you have enough pain without them adding to it! I do love the idea of your brother doing cooking lessons for his son and yours, what a wonderful idea!

Makingabobor2

Good idea not to go back until they can sort you out the right chair, its not like they weren't given enough notice. 

KajiKita

I joined a union, decades ago (that makes me feel old!! 😂) after seeing a friend drop kicked from the business, seemingly without warning. He went into a state of total shock and couldn’t think straight at all. I saw what the Union did for him and so have been with one ever since. 

KK

Debsnewbudget

Why not choose a day of the week for your son to cook for you ?
I used to look through recipes and cook one night a week for my parents,  If you get him to choose a student cook book it will be useful for him in the future.  Or he can re-do what he learnt on the Monday night.
My nieces son was so useful at cooking he had 7 girls wanting to share a house with him in year 2 !!!!

Cherryfudge

Isn't it great that the two boys can learn to cook together! Nothing like a shared experience/possible competitiveness to encourage them both! 

And I'm happy with you WFH longer - it will reduce strain on you and really, they should have ordered your chair in a timely manner if they want you in the office. My job currently involves cleaning large offices and there is an interesting variety of seating, including provision to stand at the desks. I think if a provincial office can do this, you'd expect a London one could, too.

And excellent news that you're joining the Union. Mine was very helpful and supportive with the problems I had.