The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

I'm definitely joining the union and it's one of my tasks to look into when I go back to work on Tuesday. We have 3 unions and so I'm a bit confused by what the actual difference is between them, but one of my friends is in the union and so I will ask her which one as she knows more about this stuff than I do. I was in a union the whole time I was at my council job and was even considering training to take on a more senior role, and become a shop steward, but I just couldn't vibe with the people I'd be working with. They were all a bit militant and rather negative and liked to caused disruption and potential anarchy to prove that they were going to take down the system. I've got a more diplomatic and strategic mindset and they didn't want me to do things my way, so I just kinda stepped back. It put me off unions, but in hindsight see it was mainly just the influence of the personalities of a few strong characters in influential positions and not a representation of all the good that unions have to offer. 

As for my special chair, I've given up trying to get people to do things as I would do them. That's how stress happens. So although I mentioned it would take a while, I didn't keep going on about it. I just left them to see for themselves. As my dad always said, "those that don't hear, must feel". So yes, I wasn't listened to. And now they must feel the consequences of that. I doubt my Head of Service knows that this has not been dealt with. But I won't be in that office on Tuesday and I will clearly explain why I am not present in our sub-team group chat. I don't want to hear anything from any of these managers, as I've been nothing if not consistent in demanding what I need and deserve.

My manager had it in her head that it was okay to ask me if my chair was not there by Tuesday, if I could come later to the office on Wednesday or Thursday instead. I had to smother a laugh, as I knew at this point in the week, considering nothing had been ordered that I wouldn't be there on Tuesday. My disabled parking permit is only valid on a Tuesday and my carer comes on a Wednesday and Thursday, so it was a non-starter of a request.

The cooking lessons will definitely be fun for the boys to do together and I like the idea of my son cooking one day a week @Debsnewbudgetby following a simple instruction cookbook or recreating what he has learnt on the Monday. I think it will be good for him and will definitely take the pressure off me as well. 

Sun_Addict

I’m not in a union at work but I think it would benefit you. Our work union is PCS. 

badmemory

I remember thinking back in my youth that by the time I retired unions should no longer be necessary.  Big mistake, they seem to be even more necessary than before.  Now I need one as a pensioner.

beanielou

When I first started working in the late 70's my workplace was a closed shop.

Keedie

I think there's so much workplace gaslighting going on these days, and a lot of two faced colleagues and workplace politics with cost cutting measures trying to masquerade as 'efficiency', but in reality they are pushing people to overwork, that workplaces can often be rather toxic. If you have a good work environment it can really make all the difference! 

I'm sorry that you're needing help @badmemory, but I think it'll be good to get whatever support you can. My friend told me that belonging to a union was one of the most important forms of insurance that you can have and that it was a bit like income protection with people fighting your corner when you didn't know how or weren't able to. If I'd joined the union at this company soon after I started, a lot of the issues I faced would have been dealt with before it got to the point that I just snapped. But trying to claw my way out of that really made me quite resourceful and I found my own voice. So now I am able to join a union and know that I feel comfortable enough to lean on them for help and guidance where necessary.

I had to google PCS @Sun_Addict, but it looks like they're quite good. The largest union that we have is Unite I think. I need to read up about it and the other options, but from what I can see I have to pay a direct debit to the union. At my old workplace, it came out of my salary along with my tax and other deductions. What is a closed shop @beanielou?

beanielou

A closed shop is where you have no choice other than to join the union.

Keedie

beanielou said:

A closed shop is where you have no choice other than to join the union.

Ahh I see. I think the power in numbers is probably what led to unions having more power and buy-in than they now.

KajiKita

I’m in Unite and (historical accident - only Union available at my first workplace) what I quite like about them is that they have dedicated officers for direct and indirect workforce issues, which is useful as the context is often very different. 

Can I just comment on how lovely it is to see you ‘holding your boundaries’ - it’s like the scales have fallen from your eyes and you are seeing the dynamic with your boss and your workplace very differently now. That reflects huge growth on your part 😊

KK

AntoMac

The incompetence of your employer with your special chair is quite a blessing in disguise eh Keedie! Those extra days of not having to go into the office will save you some travel stress, cost and time. 

How wonderful for your son to get involved with learning how to cook. I’m sure he’ll be happy to start demonstrating his new skills once he’s picked them up. My daughter can cook quite well BUT I still think she reckons the washing up magically does itself! 

You’ve also reminded me to get round to joining the Union at work, which I’ll do this week. 

Keedie

I have a few friends belong to Unite @KajiKita, one works for an airport and the other works for student housing for a university. I'll have to remember to ask them as well. I like the idea of things being separate for different issues, as does that make it clearer. I checked out their website and I'd pay the part time rate as I work 21 hours and under (I work 18 hours) and I'd get 50% of the benefits that they offer which seems to be quite good. 

I'm definitely seeing things differently at work and in my personal life when it comes to setting boundaries KajiKita. It's actually quite freeing. I guess my eyes are now wide open as opposed to wide shut...?

And yes, it's definitely a blessing in disguise @AntoMac with the delay in going into the office due to the chair not being ordered on time. I've got the Easter holidays off, and I won't be going into the office when I am holiday for the chair to be delivered, so it may well have to wait until I am back in mid-April. 

It's good that your daughter can cook well AntoMac even if she thinks dishwashing is done by magic 😂. My son seems to think there's some magic fairies that scrape his plate properly let alone dish fairies 🙄😂.

💝 Happy Mother's Day 💝 to the mothers out there of all variations and 💖 Happy Heavenly Mother's Day 💖 for those who are watching over us from afar. x