The Mental Debt Struggle...

AntoMac

You’re awesome Keedie - never forget that, or at least try not to, because knowing you, you will sometimes forget.
It seems that just the blink of an eye ago you went under the £10k mark, now you’re talking about £9k. To target clearing the rest of it next year is highly commendable. You of course can adapt that if you need to. You have never been afraid to revise your plan as and when required.
You say you have built resilience, which is absolutely true. More importantly, in my view, is that you have Integrity in abundance, and that governs the way you conduct yourself.
My auntie said to me the other day that she never lies, so she never needs to forget what she said. Well done you for dealing in FACTS with your employer, and keeping the record straight.
There is the sweetest lady at my work and they’re trying to manage her out. My opinion of her line managers has dropped like a stone. They have their little clique and you’re either part of it or you are not. I am very lucky in that my own Senior Manager adopts the mantra ‘Integrity is everything’ which is what I try to live my life by. I don’t want any favouritism, just honesty and fairness. Now of course we all warm to different people differently, but that shouldn’t cloud any judgement of work performance in my opinion.
Keep dealing in facts and setting the fine example to your son that you always do 

Keedie

I am definitely super proud of my son @LittleMissDetermined! He's going to do well in life. His determination has come back and he's focussed and most importantly, proud of himself. I think he can see his value in life again and that is pushing him to keep achieving.

As for work, you're right @AntoMac, integrity is key. I won't allow them to bully me or undermine what I have achieved, just because I am making life difficult for them by pushing back. I'm not going to return to work and slack off, as that just isn't in my nature. But I sure as hell won't be overworking myself and stressing myself for their benefit. Those days are over. What is happening to your colleague is really bad, and unfortunately it isn't uncommon.

I need to remain in employment in 2024 so that I can clear my debts. But that doesn't mean I have to be exploited whilst doing that. Hence I will be working with Maximus to have that mental health support to navigate my return to work and how to manage healthy and productive boundaries.

Each year I learn more about myself and the world around me. And 2023 has taught me that self-compassion and establishing boundaries isn't being selfish, it's healthy and necessary. Plus, the world doesn't stop turning if I take time out to recover and work on myself. 

As for finances, it's definitely worth always pivoting and reassessing the plan. Life isn't a linear journey, so we need to adapt to things as they come along and that also goes for how we handle our money, goals and lifestyle. If I only ever applied the same principles to my spending, I'd just be sinking further into debt instead of going in the other direction.

Keedie

Found another inspirational quotation image whilst just looking for the quote of the day for the Payment a Day thread and found this, which I think sums up what I was trying to say about my journey this year.

Crazycatlady2

Hope you and your son have a great Christmas 🎄

Keedie

Thank you @Crazycatlady2, I hope you and your family have a great time too.x

Cherryfudge

Have a lovely Christmas with your son @Keedie! 

Four_Seasons

Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄 

Keedie

Merry Christmas @Cherryfudge and @Four_Seasons, I hope you've both had a good day with your loved ones.

Me and my son ended up at my mum's after all, as I realised she was incredibly upset that we weren't going and so we compromised on how we did Christmas dinner so that it wasn't so overwhelming and the day wasn't too bad. My son spent the entire night gaming with his friends as they all seemed to get PS5s and as soon as it hit midnight they were all playing. So by the time we went to the cemetery around lunchtime he was running on fumes and slept the whole way there and then had a nap at my mum's after the presents were sorted!

I made a PAD of £110.58 to my Debt Buster pot today, as I had a brainwave and moved some money around. I was originally saving to pay my TV licence in full for the year to reduce my monthly outgoings and had £99.18 in that pot, plus I got £1.40 in cashback and my brother paid me £10. So the Debt Buster pot now has £185.19 in there, so when my sister pays me £75 on 1 January, I'll have £260.19 and will be able to make my first lump sum overpayment for 2024 on the first day of the year! Yay me 💃🏽.

Cherryfudge

It sounds as though you and your mum were company for each other as your son was so worn out! Hopefully the novelty value of the PS5 will be slightly lessened by the time he's back to school, but meanwhile it's nice he can play against his friends.

Well done for getting the money together to start the year strongly! That's a significant amount to be rid of. Are you going to revert to doing the TV license a month at a time?

Keedie

Yes it was actually a nice day at my mum's and aside from my East London Sister, all my siblings and their kids were there. 

My son's PS5 obsession will be scaled back from Wednesday as we've agreed that once the actual Christmas and Boxing Day era is over, he'll be doing revision. He has his business exam on 12 Jan and I've just discovered some BTEC revision books, so I've ordered them from Amazon from his education fund and they arrive on Wednesday. 

I'm hoping that if I start the year as I mean to go on, things will fall into place financially. I've always paid my TV licence monthly, but had thought that if I was leaving my leaving my job, I needed to reduce my monthly outgoings to make things cheaper and have less direct debits to worry about. So I'll just continue that until the debt is gone and then save up again to be able to pay it annually when I'm in a different financial position.