The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

So I haven't gotten my act together so far today, but I guess intentions count for something. The gland in my neck on the left side and under my armpit are tender and a bit swollen as I'm having a double whammy flare up, both chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, so I feel a bit wiped out.

But I have very slowly been able to put some clothes out to dry and I have printed my draft email to look at after dinner. At a glance, I am glad that I didn't send it on Friday as it makes little sense in some places 🤦🏾‍♀️. The brain fog was really not serving me very well 😂.

I walked to Lidl today and had regret halfway there and certainly when I brought my shopping (which was hardly anything) as my hips were painful with every step home. It was those stupid chips I carried home, but at least I enjoyed my cheesy chips for dinner 😋.

Makingabobor2

Hope you feel better tomorrow. Don'f over do it. 

Cherryfudge

Oh I could eat some cheesy chips for you! They aren't lightweight, though. I hope you feel better soon.

Keedie

I'm feeling a lot better this morning, still got a sore neck and achy body, but I managed to get the email to my managers done last night. So I wasn't as anxious as I woke up. 

I've worked out my focus for 2024 - finally.

I've been designing some savings challenges that are low amounts so that I feel like I am making lots of progress on a regular basis. I've decided to go big or go home and attempt to clear 100% of my £9,000 debt by 31 December 2024. That's an average of £750 a month.

It'll be tight, but I figured, lots of little bits squirrelled away into small challenges will allow me to gather the funds for repeated lump sum overpayments. So I won't be paying £750 a month, as I'm keeping my debt minimum payments at £300 a month. As you know, life happens and I don't want to box myself into a corner in case one month I don't have surplus money as something crops up and I need to use the remainder of my income to deal with it, rather than resorting to increasing debt etc. 

I've set my budget at £2,600 a month including all bills, debt repayments, savings, basic expenses like food, travel, our spending money and all sinking funds for things like medical expenses, holidays, birthdays, Christmas & Eid, car maintenance etc. That budget won't kick in until I'm back at work for a couple of months and I've steadily increased my working hours. But once I get to that stage, and I start to freelance again, everything above £2,600 will go towards debt.

I've set myself a tall order, but it's a stretch goal and so I figured, I'll work as hard at it as I can. If I don't make it, then at least I've given it my best shot.

This year I cleared £6,872.88 and I kind of didn't bother so much with my debts once I became unwell and just kept reducing my minimum payments to make life more manageable and paid off the smaller bits. So although it's going to be hard, I'm focused on the challenge. Yay me!
 
I want to know what it feels like to have no debt. I've been in debt since 18 when I got my student account at uni and had an overdraft. I'm 42 now. That's 24 years of being in debt and I'm truly sick of it! It's like a noose around my neck (hence I call the Monzo pot that my debt payments come from, The Noose).

In 2025 I want to be able to focus on savings and building a proper emergency fund of £3,000, a buffer in my account of £750 and to save 3 months worth of expenses (which will be lower than current expenses as there will be no debt repayments).

In 2024 I'll continue to have sinking funds for ongoing expenses like the car, birthdays, Christmas etc as they're included in my new budget once I'm earning enough. So I'll have the money to pay for things as they occur. But the main focus will be on getting debt free. I can't wait to be able to get to goal... 🤗.

Cherryfudge

It's good you got the email out of the way - it must have been a bit of a weight on your mind.

Clearing £9,000 is huge but you've cleared nearly £7,000 this year despite being ill, so I will cheer you on!

Makingabobor2

hope your goals for next year work out. I'll be cheering you on also. I'm sure you can do it as you have such a positive mindset. 

Keedie

Thank you for the support and encouragement. This diary and forum holds me accountable, so fingers crossed I get as close to target or meet it. I don't think I've necessarily got a positive mindset, but I do know that anything is possible. So I'm betting on me next year, and will put the same effort into my goals that I do into helping others.

I worked out how much of my freelance income I would be able to keep when I start trading again, and I figured 25% guilt free would allow me to save for the taxes, running costs and build up a business emergency fund. I'll then be able to put 25% into my current account each time I'm paid for freelance work, and I can put that towards debts and savings.

Sun_Addict

You have done amazingly well despite setbacks a lot of people would use as an excuse not to do anything. I’m sure you’ll reach your goals next year. We have faith in you, you can do this! 

PennysIntoPounds

Yay you indeed!

And don't forget during the next year if you have downs, no-one will come to harm if you don't go on holiday etc

You've done brilliantly this year, I'm so pleased for you x

Keedie

Thank you everyone for your cheerleading, it really does makes such a difference!

I've never looked at my life in terms of the setbacks being something that would lead some other people to give in/give up. All I know is that we just have to keep going, even micro baby steps, or sometimes standing still and rethinking the journey or even the occasional step back is all worth it, as long as you just keep an eye on where you're heading. 

My son also said that from 2024 onwards, I need to stop feeling sorry for people and lending them money (which is very true!), so guilty as charged 🤦🏾‍♀️. I need to be a bit more single minded without having a personality transplant and focus on my goals and not get sidetracked by other people's demands. I'm feeling really excited about the possibility of it all coming to fruition - eek! 😄