The Mental Debt Struggle...

AntoMac

Exam day then Keedie. Everything crossed for you and your boy, and that yesterday’s meeting at your surgery went well. 

LittleMissDetermined

Sending lots of positivity for the exams!
LMD x

Four_Seasons

Hope its all going well, keeping fingers crossed x

dawnybabes

Hope DS exam goes well today 

Keedie

Thank you all for the support! 1/17 exams completed and he found it to be okay. He has two tomorrow and a college interview, so he's not going to be in the best shape and he's knackered now after this exam, as they made them have their maths lesson afterwards. It's a bit crazy but he found it to be good revision as he has an exam on Thursday morning so can't get to college for that lesson. 

I've not been feeling too great, but my appointments went well yesterday and the MHP is going to write a letter for me to give to my employer, to tell them that I am not well and when I am ready to return to work, I will contact them and that they will need to support me. My manager has contacted me to check in, but I feel like she's trying to see when I can return and I don't want them to contact me at the moment. I might possibly be paranoid, but I'm not really trusting them to have my best interests at heart.

I've got a slight buffer in my bills pot on Monzo, and so I have decided to round up the amount payable for our phones, which is £32.87 a month and is paid as part of the monthly bill. I've set a standing order of £2.13 a month to go into a savings pot with Chase, and the balance is only £1.98 at the moment, but if I can get it to £105.37 by the 31 December 2024, then I can clear the outstanding balance on both phones. I figured if I budget £35 for the phones a month, as the payment goes down in February and March 2024, I'll change the standing order for the increased difference. And if I can do the odd surveys, all that money will go into this account and I can then clear that debt and my mum by December 2024. I can then concentrate on only one debt (Barclaycard) from January 2025 onward. 

I've given up trying to do weekly budgeting, as it's not really working properly for me. I think I need to go back to doing things monthly, as when I did my sinking funds in cash this month, it was easier. I'll just stick to spending money, petrol and food shopping in cash. It's easier for my brain to process. I had things too complicated before. I tried to do a big food shop, but that didn't work out too well either, as I was confused by the date and have fresh food that is going off in the next day or so, and we won't get to finish it so I will have to freeze things tonight. I think weekly shopping makes more sense for us, but maybe things like toiletries, cleaning supplies, tinned stuff is done monthly. I guess I'll figure it out.

My hands are no longer really puffy and swollen, so I can type and stuff and the spasms in my left hand have gone. It looked like it was dancing and twitching near my thumb area 😂. 

I've put coins in my penny challenge but I don't remember what I did so I can't count it as a PAD, but I crossed off the tracker but I have no way of knowing what happened when, so it's a bit confusing. But at least the money is being saved...

LittleMissDetermined

Glad your appointment went well and that they are going to support you with your employer. I don't think you're being paranoid at all, they will be wanting you to go back to work as soon as possible... It needs to be at a time that's right for you. 

Sending luck to your son for his exams and interview
LMD x

Keedie

Thanks @LittleMissDetermined, it's nice to know that it might not be in my head. I do feel like they're trying to rush me back or get an idea of when I'm returning and I'm not in the mood for their questioning, as it doesn't feel genuine. I was mentally and physically vulnerable and begging for help and they put so much pressure on me, and it's only after I've lost my mind and I'm unwell, that they are suddenly looking at the processes properly and have brought in people to deal with the workload, including the Payroll Manager, despite them saying that Payroll shouldn't answer their own queries. 

The exams today went 50/50, with the morning exam being 'awful', and the afternoon exam being 'great', so hopefully he's on course for things to tip in his favour come results day in August. He was beating himself up about the morning exam, but I reminded him that he's sat the exam, and a few weeks, and months ago, this wasn't even a possibility and yet, here we are. I reminded him of the card that I gave him the night before his first exam, which says 'you're amazing' on the front, and that he's capable of so much, and he should be proud of himself. When I pointed out that unless he chooses to, he never has to analyse another poem ever again, he was all smiles! 😂

We're back from the exams and having downtime before heading back out for his interview. I'm so tired as I didn't sleep last night and so I was excited about having a micro nap, but as I approached my bed, I realised that some dusty pigeon had gone in via the window (which wasn't left open any wider than usual)... and it had proceeded to have a frantic poop party everywhere! It was all over my weighted blanket, pillows, bedsheet (because of course it would be the day I couldn't be bothered to make my bed!) and my precious Macbook got a number 2 shower as well! 🤢 Luckily I'm obsessed with closing the Macbook otherwise it would have gotten all over the keyboard and I don't fancy another trip to Apple for a repair. I've put the weighted blanket in the washing machine after scraping it clean with antibacterial wipes, and I wasn't very happy to see pigeon poop on my carpet either 😤.

Until I've washed and disinfected everything I can't sleep in my bed 😩. I had clean clothes folded on the desk and I've no clue if they've been touched by the pigeon either, but at least there's no droppings that I can see, so I will re-wash them after I've sorted out my bedding. I think that pigeon had the fright of its life, as the window opening is at an angle because of the window restricter, so it clearly found it easier to get in than it did to get out if the carnage and frantic poopy claw marks on my window are anything to go by. Eugh.

But on another note, a more happier one, at least we're 60% of the way through the week 1 exams, and there's only 2 more to go this week. By Friday, he would have done 5/17 exam papers, and he'll be practically 1/3 of the way through. Yippee!

Makingabobor2

Glad to hear the exams weren't too bad overall.

Ooh no....not good about the pigeon. I can understand you wanting to wash everything. Think I would have had a meltdown. Hope you get it all sorted out and smelling fresh. x

Crazycatlady2

Wow no idea what to say about the pigeon 🤷‍♀️. 

Good to exams going well ish. DD has done 2 plus previous to this week finished all art and construction work and done Spanish speaking. I think she has about 18-20 in total 😱

LittleMissDetermined

Quite a day! 

It’s great to break down the exams like that, I’m sure he will be thankful when they’re over and you’re both counting down to that holiday