Where to focus - mortgage, renovations etc?

beanielou

Positive vibes.

MeandO

Fingers crossed for you x

shellstar

No major finance news. I got back 50% of the vets fees so far but now gastro issues are no longer covered and unfortunately he's still having some issues. We're doing some tests now so hopefully we'll have him on the mend soon. Getting the money back has enabled me to save quite a bit extra this month. I saved £800, but with ongoing vets bills I may need to dip into that.

I didn't win anything on the premium bonds this month. In the new tax year I plan to transfer most of what is in there into my ISA, so I suspect winnings will drop a lot after that.

No house news. The potential buyer either hasn't sold or found somewhere else in the meantime. Viewings seem to be slowing. At least none of the feedback has been that we're on for too much. I'm trying to keep the faith but it is quite hard. Preparing for the viewings is hard on top of everything else. Last time I wasn't studying as well, and I wasn't doing compressed hours. My son is taking a long time to get to sleep atm, so the house slowly deteriorates during the week and then I use most of Friday getting it ready for viewings. Fridays are my study days, so it is stressful to lose this time. Ex-DP has let me know he's planning to remove his belongings towards the end of March. I think it will be weird, and because of the hope of moving I don't feel like I can immediately reclaim the space. Not much point buying stuff for this house. I'm considering making his bedroom (which he moved into when our son was born) the messy play room or something like that. It will be empty of furniture so maybe that would be nice for my son and I. Better than becoming a dumping ground, especially with viewings.

On the plus side, I got the marks back for my first assignment. 79%. Given everything on my plate, I am honestly astonished and super, super proud of myself. Things are hard right now but I honestly feel like I'm on the right path. I hope the house sells again soon so I can at least get some slack back.

shellstar

No house news. A trickle of viewings but no offers. I see most of the houses in the village aren't selling, or come back on the market after going under offer. My EA this week told me they've noticed a lot of hesitancy now rates are going up and the uncertainty of Trump. Ex-DP and I have agreed that we'll give it until June. I think a year is long enough to try plan A. Our rate is ending in September. If we don't sell, I think we will look into a 2 year interest only mortgage and re-list in the Spring before that rate ends and see if things are any better. Fingers crossed we do sell though.

Things with Ex-DP are not good. He was here over Easter because I had a work trip which meant his mother visited to look after DS. His mental health is clearly not good atm and his behaviour was appalling, especially towards my son. I've suggested he not come again until he has sought the help he clearly needs. I do care, but I can't carry or manage him on top of everything else, and I can't allow him to impact my son the way he was. I've been conflicted for a long time on this. I do truly believe that a child needs their father, and I don't expect perfection. Lord knows I am not a perfect parent. But targeting our DS with his moods, out of proportion reactions to normal toddler behaviour and effectively making DS scared of him is just not ok. On one occasion he even scared me. The reality is, he didn't really want to be here, and he wasn't coping with being here and my DS was being expected to manage that. Eventually I said I thought he should leave (this was Easter Sunday, he was supposed to stay until Tuesday). His mum agreed and she left with him. I think it was a real eye-opener to her as to just what things have been like up until now. I've said that if he gets to the point where he does want to be in DS's life, and can show up with calm and consistency then we will revisit. We shall see where that leads us over time I guess. I feel very sad and conflicted though. I've also got a free 30 minute consultation with a solicitor to formalise our existing arrangements. Ex-DP knew I was going to look into this even before the past weekend.

It's been an expensive month this month with course fees, replacing some furniture Ex-DP took and needing to buy some new clothes cos none of mine fit atm unfortunately. No gyms round here have a creche and peri-menopause is wreaking its havoc on my waistline. However, it's a new ISA year so I've just requested £20k from my premium bonds and will research whether to put this into my existing ISAs or start a new one and transfer over the next few days until it hits my account. This leaves £1,337 in my Premium Bonds so I doubt I'll be getting many winnings from here on out. I anticipate from next year I'll just have the ISA as I won't be maxing out the savings after that. This money is left over redundancy in the main.

Hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather! I'm mostly inside working on writing my next assignment but DS and I have been making the most of the garden after work.

debtfreewannabe321

Great work on your assignment. And well done for setting a boundary with your ex. Keep that consistency up, your son will understand how to set boundaries too as he grows up. You're doing great, well done.

beanielou

Sorry to hear about ex-DP. I think you have made the right decision for now. That’s all you can do.

shellstar

Some news. The viewings have been a trickle and we're starting to get the same feedback again: 'it needs too much work'. Messaged with Ex-DP and it turns out he plans to give up work in two years. He's worked out he can afford to live off of his pension and benefits, so why wouldn't he? I guess supporting his child financially hasn't figured in his thinking and I don't feel in a position to fall out with him further.

He's agreed to drop the price again. So we're now on for £25k less than we paid 5 years ago (having done half the work needed). I really, really hope this gets us over the line. It now means I'm looking at 2 beds if we do sell. That will be further isolating as my main social life is having friends to stay but reality is reality. I have no idea how things have gone so badly.

So, fingers crossed this gets us a new buyer. I really need to land now, so I can start to rebuild my life from a solid foundation.

shellstar

We've accepted an offer!! They offered below asking to begin but the reduced price finally got things moving. We had 4 other viewings in the diary so I said if they wanted it, they'd have to up it (risky, but I'm just so aware I need to find something else for DS and I, we're losing so much money on this house and it was their first offer so…). They offered £5k over!! Can't believe it.

Now, everybody must keep everything crossed that things go more smoothly this time. I've got viewings today, Saturday and also Sunday to try and find something for DS and I. One of the houses is exactly the same as the one I lost, but is one street over. However, the house I lost was immaculate, and this one is a wreck. EVERYTHING needs doing, and I'm not sure I have the energy for that. Still, the sums look good.

Another is in an ideal location and needs no work at all from what I can tell. It's even decorated to my taste. However, it's offers over and is more than I wanted to spend so I do need to weigh that up. I'm also seeing a few houses in between. All have at least some compromises, so I just have to decide which ones I need to make.

Wish me luck!! Hope people are enjoying the sunshine. DS has been poorly this week, so I am using my Friday morning to work as I got barely anything done in the week. I'm pretty behind and things are busy, so it seems the right thing to do even though technically it's my non-working day.

daisy_1571

OooOooh got everything crossed for you that it goes well

Dxx

South_coast

Keeping everything crossed for you x