My 31 year old daughter has a terminal brain tumour.

middlesis

My lovely girl - third of four children - has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. She has 2 children aged 12 and 8. 
At the moment we are attending Christies for daily radiotherapy sessions. 5 days a week for 6 weeks, 1 week done, 5 to go,. 30 sessions of high intensity treatment. After that the chemo begins.

She wont get better, but all this treatment might prolong her life a little. 

How the hell do we deal with this?

Its not fair, and its not right. This is not not how life should turn out.  

At the moment, me, and her step-dad and her siblings are doing all we can to make sure she gets to the hospital and gets the best treatment she can - Christies have been wonderful. Kind and compassionate and so damned good at what they do.

I,m not looking for answers, because there are none.  Would just like to know how other families in the same position have dealt with it.

Sorry for ranting so late at night.  Thats when it hits home. 

Ms_Chocaholic

I didn't want to read and run.

Have you thought about contacting Macmillan or another (similar) charity who may be able to offer you, your daughter and your grandchildren some support now and in the future or do Christies know of anyone who could support you all.

I presume you are in the North West somewhere, I'm happy to try and google some charities who may be able to help if you are able to be specific-ish about where you are.

Thinking of you all xx

Ms_Chocaholic

Presuming you are in the Manchester area I found this, I hope it helps, sorry if you are not in that area.

https://mft.nhs.uk/mri/services/cancer/living-with-and-beyond-cancer/

middlesis

Thank you.  Yes we have been in touch with a couple of charities who may be able to help us, and Chrisites have been amazing.

She has 2 dogs that need re-homing - nothing wrong with them, they are lovely dogs.  But I cant seem to get any response from any animal charities that will help us.  They just want donations, and sadly the dogs need to be out of the house asap.  When her chemo starts, the house needs to be as germ-free as possible. 

  Im just trying to do practical things at the mo, so much to think about.

 Thank you for your quick response Ms chocaholic x

RAS

Sorry for the situation but on a purely practical basis.

Does your daughter have in place:

LPAs, both health and well-being and financial? At the moment they take several months to register but it's a lot quicker than deputyship.
A will?
Details of her bank, media and social media accounts that she can share with her intended attorney(ies). It's all to easy to lose details that mean treasured memories to trapped in places you can't access later.

Can you start to document time when she is reasonably well and her children are with her to build a memory bank for them? 
Locate your local hospice as they can offer psychological support for her and the children as well as being very good at symptom control. She may need an inpatient visit at some point but they are very good at hospice at home care.

elsien

With regards to the dogs, have you tried the Blue Cross? Their website says to call if it’s an emergency. 

Otherwise if they are a particular breed then there are some breed specific rescues that may be able to help. 

No friends that are able to foster them for her? 

Keep_pedalling

One of the biggest considerations is guardianship of the two children. Is their father still involved in their lives?

kazwookie

My thoughts to you and your family.

OH had cancer last year, we went through hell with his treatment, the nurses and hospitals were so kind and helped with loads of advise and information he has made a recovery.

As has been suggested get end of life stuff in place now, before your daughter is unable to help / suggest her wishes.

Can no one take the dogs on? try the more local charities to you, or even a very selective advert on fb or similar.

tooldle

I just muddled through. We decided between us what things needed to be dealt with and then worked on only those things that could not be left. So, LPA's were set up, funeral was discussed and the paperwork all sorted (funeral bond), finances were dealt with in terms of moving these into one place and placing in the hands of a 'money manager'. Dad had a Macmillan nurse specialist who swiftly linked him into other services, disabled parking badge, benefits check, etc. We talked about where he would want to die, and a do not resuscitate was put in place. Carers were brought in to assist (mum has dementia, so initially the carers were for her until such time as Dad needed them to).
One of the hardest things was sharing the news. Dad didn't want people to know and preferred to concentrate on ticking of tasks. Myself, I'd have preferred others to be aware of the situation, to allow sympathetic conversation and some support. However, i'm aware that others/friends can be a time drain if they are looking to make last visits and to say their goodbyes, when there are a million and one other matters to deal with.
I found the Macmillan forums to be really helpful as this allowed conversations with others going through the same nightmare, be they patient, or the supporting relatives. 
Most importantly be kind to yourself. Take some time for yourself, just to chill and if possible talk through your worries. The journey ahead is going to be hard and you will need to consider your own needs as well as those of your daughter and grandchildren. 
Are you a 'want to know' person or one who copes better when lifespans etc are presented in vague terms? I asked for an honest conversation with Dad's medical team. The timescale given to Dad was 3-9months. On asking for their honest assessment i was told 3 months max. Sadly this turned out to be bang on, but it did allow me to inject a sense of urgency into our preparations. 
Sending you my support for the days and week ahead x

KxMx

I volunteer for a cat charity, often we are full with a waiting list including urgent cases. 
The best you may be able to achieve in the immediate future is to get on a waiting list with high priority, but there will often be higher priority animals ahead of you.
I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help but that is the reality within animal rescue. 

You could perhaps try to find a temporary foster home yourself within friends /family while awaiting a rescue space. 

Skiddaw1

Re the dogs, the Cinnamon Trust might be able to assist:

https://cinnamon.org.uk/home/