I need to leave

311 Posts


Hi, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I think I need some moral support.
I need to leave. There's too much to go into but I've got 2 children and I've put up with all this going on for about 14 years. Been together 15 years this year.
I've asked my mum to sort a bed out and a cot, there isn't much room but we need to go and without alerting him we are going.
I feel sick. I don't feel strong enough but I can't cope much longer and my 2 children mean everything to me.
I need to leave. There's too much to go into but I've got 2 children and I've put up with all this going on for about 14 years. Been together 15 years this year.
I've asked my mum to sort a bed out and a cot, there isn't much room but we need to go and without alerting him we are going.
I feel sick. I don't feel strong enough but I can't cope much longer and my 2 children mean everything to me.
2
Latest MSE News and Guides
Replies
This link may give you support, there's a forum on there:
I need help - information and support on domestic abuse (womensaid.org.uk)
I've never left before.
It's now or never.
Take care of yourself and your children, that's all that matters.
Before you go think about what kind of paperwork you'll need, if you can't take it then photograph it on your phone.
Carry on posting here if you feel more comfortable (I didn't mean it to sound like you should move over to the Women's Aid forum, just that there will be lots of people who've been in the same situation as you and come out the other side on there).
Sending hugs.
I don't know your circumstances but if you are leaving a computer, clear your browsing history and delete all saved passwords.
Clothes etc can be replaced, but if you can move some little and often it will help in the short term.
Get together passport's, birth certificates, banking documents. These can be invaluable in setting up new accounts and moving forward.
If you are working let reception know you are not taking any communication from (insert name).
Women's aid and police were both so good to me.
Keep posting and keep focusing on the future, 1 day from now may not seem a lot but its 24hrs that you took your life back.
1, remove birth certificates, passports, bank details, house details (if it is owned), savings/stocks/shares/pension details if there are any etc
2, remove photographs and sentimental value items (not anything that would be obvious or missed but tidying things will often hide the fact that a small object has gone), save things to a usb stick if they are on a laptop. If there is a laptop save all possible documents onto a usb stick - saving all is faster and you can go through them later to see if any are needed.
3, start taking extra clothes (wear 2 or more pairs of underwear/socks and an extra top when you go out, only return wearing the top that will have been seen when you return) and toys to your mothers house, or to work if your employer is agreeable, or to a trusted friend.
4, start to squirrel away little bits of cash, yes you are going to your mother, but it will feel better to have some of your own hidden away.
5, if you feel that your partner/spouse may follow you, tell the police local to your mother what is going on, they can then respond accordingly if you make reports to them rather than think it is "only" a domestic that is low priority if staffing levels are stretched for some reason.
Good luck, I hope you get through it safely.
Home improvement secured loans 30,130/41,000 and 23,156/28,000 End 2027 and 2029
Mortgage 64,513/100,000 End Nov 2035
2022 all rolling into new mortgage + extra to finish house. 125,000 End 2036