I need to leave

RAS

Caseyface

I had a horrendous period when two people in my life killed themselves.

Writing this I realised I'd initially typed  the word myselves instead, which is kinda a clue as to the impact?

It's devastating, I was absolutely terrified a mutual friend would follow them.

Fortunately I also had a few friends who knew them all and held some space in which I could breath.

Seek out those who love you, share your terror, and understand ultimately you cannot prevent your partner making their choice. Your are not responsible for their choice, what ever that is. The friend chose well.

[Deleted User]

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That's a very unhelpful comment.
Have you read the thread fully, spend more time and read thoroughly before posting a random comment 😠

Sarahspangles

Caseyface said:

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Have you read the thread? I am more than supportive and have been over the years.

I think the fact I have said it is difficult to leave when he is threatening suicide shows that as well. If I didn't care then I would just go wouldn't I.

It’s just another of the ‘Look what you made me do’ tactics that controlling people use. It’s not a valid reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship. It’s a pretty nasty threat to hold over someone. His family and friends need to know he’s vulnerable when you leave, just in case he’s that unhinged he would do some harm. 

HampshireH

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Wow. Just wow.

Nor is being on the receiving end of an abusive relationship for 14 years and having to protect children from the impact of that.

Suicide isn't good. But it is not the OP responsibility. 

OP things have obviously moved on and he knows you have support now. That shift is huge as he has lost some control. As you gain more control your position becomes more powerful and his diminishes - hence the threat of suicide.

This is quite a dangerous place to be as it could be unpredictable (more so than normal) and could result in an escalation of his behaviour. 

I don't want to scare you but the above is fact. Make sure your mum/friend/(locker somewhere) has that safety bag with all those necessary documents etc in for that day you choose to flee as it sounds like it's getting closer for you.