please may I join ,I’ve read this thread for years and feel I know you all . Last Thursday was the 1st anniversary of my very DH death ,I spent the week eating junk The last quote really resonated,thank you . not sure how I’ll do but I’ll try ,need a challenge I think
Trying to do challenges myself, switched to once a week food shop, minimise food waste (I use all leftovers where possible). Meal plan from the cupboards and freezers where possible.
On a massive declutter mission to find stuff to sell at carboots to clear a small family debt. Can then look at the next one to aim for.
Health wise I lost an old school friend in March to a brain tumour, early 40's. Certainly makes you think and I'm trying to focus on being healthier, booking eyes, dental and physio appointments as needed rather than putting off.
I want to be the best, healthiest version I can be to live my best life now.
@mothernerd love ‘a little bit about yourself as a cat’ made me remember when DD was about 7 and wore a cat outfit all the time apart from when at school. For months she wouldn’t answer unless we referred to her as ‘the cat’ she is 26 now and has luckily grown out of it!
Everyone up to here should have a number, let me know if you don't.
My Challenge My life is somewhat chaotic at the moment. However I have made a start. I like visiting the seaside and the Lake district but don't think I want to live there. I like visiting the city every now and then but definitely don't want to live there. I want a clean calm spacious home as low maintenance as possible
The three things I've Identified as being most in need of attention are my Health, my immediate Environment, and Paperwork. Health I have 3 months to reverse my last blood test results or I will be insulin dependent. The 3 months is up in May. I have been sticking to a strict diabetic diet and incorporated a chronic pain diet - so low fat, low sugar (none where possible) and cutting out/ reducing meat, dairy and wheat. I'd say I'm at 70-80% effort for 70-80% of the time (I have had 2 kitkats, had scones once, not cut out crisps yet. I need to make a last minute push to get nearer to my target (going for 90% effort, 90% of the time). This week I'll make appointments for my diabetic foot exam and book an eye test. Depression and Mobility are also issues - will be starting 121 CBT counselling on Wednesday and think I need to contact Social Services for information on adaptations and aids (+ investigate whether or not I can have a bus pass due to physical limitations not age).
Environment - my room, my house, my home. Complicated by the fact that DS3 and his Beloved live with me. They both have depression (me too) and health issues BUT I'm too old and infirm to do it all on my own so I need to work out what I can do and try different tactics to get them on board. Most often suggested solution is to chuck them out but not sure I can do that. This is fairly acute as the house is not safe for me, although loads of stuff has gone and it won't be safe for my grand-daughter (due in July) when she starts to move around.
Paperwork is a catch all title for a huge range of issues. For new turtles, my mother died at the beginning of the year. I've dealt with a lot of the estate but there's still a lot to do, some has to wait for probate, it's nearly 3 months now so I will have to set up direct debits for the bungalow bills on my account soon, some things I've been putting off (insurance paperwork - 2 small value policies but a paperwork mountain) and some leftovers (ie started on a task and stopped when I've had enough and there are little bits that didn't get done and I haven't gone back to them). I had to apply for the dreaded Universal Credit(weekly appointments for the first 13 weeks) and finally started the PIP paperwork (forms came yesterday so another paper mountain). Loads of other stuff too but going to do a few simple bits later and have stuff ready to mail/ deliver on Tuesday and will initiate Frog Friday and do a more difficult task then (or anything on this week's list).
SFDs target is 16, today won't be one of them. Spent money on a taxi to go to mum's church and back (taxi waited whilst I dropped something off). Strictly speaking this should come from the estate - decided I will charge it to the estate, I'm doing enough for free. However I have 2 washing line posts being delivered on Wednesday so need postcrete and posts and panels to replace my 25yo hm fence. Writing a list of small random items - multivitamins, a nail brush - as I go along (some could be incorporated into the food order.
Challenge. I have not set any Budgets yet. I need to but atm I don't have enough to cover my basic needs (I didn't apply for Housing Benefit because I thought it was too much hassle for something that would stop as soon as probate went through). Trying not to spend money but things that need to be done are building up. Travel costs have been greatly reduced - s-i-l is mainly picking me up when I go to mum's bungalow. Last week she persuaded me to put the bin out on Monday when we were there and when I went on Wednesday to bring the bin in again the bus driver just told me to sit down . I walked to Morries and the same driver brought me back and again just motioned me to sit down. This happened quite a lot when I was waiting for my hip operation - some drivers decided I was obviously more handicapped than most of the people waving their bus passes. Will need bus fares for infirmary visits (see if appointments can be on Tuesday or Wednesday so i can combine with bin duty and visiting Morries for ys plant based meals. Food is mainly veggies (bought ys where possible). Social life - I will go to cinema club (afternoon and evening) this month, buy my puzzle book on the 12th (+ the large print one if available), borrow books from the library, DS2 and his Beloved are going to take me out sometime (owed from Mother's Day). Think I will start a list of things to do once probate comes through - book the 2 coach holidays I was interested in, have a day in Southport, get the soil pipe replaced, have a made to measure back gate. Last month I went to Manchester for the first time since March 7th 2020 and my last holiday with mum was a 'Twixmas' break in December 2019. Think I'm overdue a few treats. May make a list of smaller treats (couple of MH books I want) and still not had my promised stationery splurge (Kat said not to).
Make Health a priority. MH - CBT course, possible other counselling, be kind to myself, feeling 'stuck' and numb - freeze reactions. Spiritual - techniques for managing stress, mindfulness (the wellbeing people offered a mindfulness course and a taster session but it was a bit too soon - wary of overcommitting myself). Niece and her mother both have depression so can be 'buddies' and niece was talking about SW sign up (again, didn't want to overcommit but now it might be possible, especially as there's a long waiting list).
Improve - will be using all my little tricks to make things a bit better in every area of my life. Collecting at least a handful of rubbish every time I have one thing for the bin. Follow the original Flylady and start to build up a routine. Use Clutter Clarity for decluttering slowly. Put £2 coins into £2 Toucan and pennies into the tin.
Exercise Physical - will make greater efforts to move. put music on to do some tasks, maybe try circuits of the car park. could go back to specialist weight management services. Have bookmarked some easy chair yoga videos. Will just make a start and do what I can. Aim for spending an hour a day in the garden, even if it's in 15 minute chunks.
Fun want to go to Southport. be amongst trees.
A positive mental attitude. Is crying going to help, if it won't don't bother - sometimes it does help (I watch lassie to make me cry). Not bouncing back as fast as normal - it will happen at some point. I don't have problems, just challenges.
No coffee - easy peasy, can't stand the stuff BUT need to plan meals more so I don't leave it too long between eating.
Debt or Savings first - No debt but only pennies in savings. Probate must come through sometime this month and can then organise most urgent repairs, arrange to sell the bungalow and set up a proper savings account.
Maintenance I'm currently 'caretaker' for 3 houses - Mine needs roof repairs (long waiting list if I want the best), down pipe and one other pipe replacing, adaptations (stair lift, replacement kitchen - current one is 18 years old - that I can use, lots of soft close drawers for heavy stuff and a bath I can get into or a walk in sit down shower at some point), back gate and fence panel need replacing, need to rebuild bricks around the drain, painting overdue (use what we have to do the stair and bannister rail and patch up the walls with handprints all over them), stair carpet. Mum's bungalow - still some furniture to move, broken furniture and rubbish to be collected, some painting (hopefully what there is can be used to cover the 'spotty' wall and won't show the rest up, some more cleaning, all the raised beds to be weeded, flags swept and scrubbed. Then put up for sale and kept clean until then. Grandma's house Rented to the same tenant for 28 years. Atm he's bringing me the rent money and I'm accounting for it apart from the rest of the estate. Gas check has been paid for, carbon monoxide detectors (need 2 if the cooker is gas) still to be installed and a long chat with Mr Builder (they phoned to see how I was and to tell me when they're away on holiday) I have another list of checks that need to be done. Structurally sound but may 'need' rewiring. I'd also like to buy the property next door to mine (deceased tenant was a heavy smoker) but rising prices (and the slowness of probate) means that's galloping out of reach.
So that's probably my year, getting myself fit and well (within current limits), selling one house, possibly buying another (Mr Builder recommended a ground floor flat), dividing the estate with my brother, losing weight, moving more, gardening (may have to do more compromising this year as running out of available hours - everything I have already is fairly low maintenance potatoes, onions, fruit bushes, herbs), building my self-esteem and resilience, taking time to grieve, having fun.
Grateful for counsellors, good tenants, having a few ideas, pacing myself and getting one frog out of the way this morning.
My mission in life is not only to survive,but to thrive and to do so with some Passion, some Compassion, some Humour and some Style.
mothernerd - since Clean Your House Day follows Lost Sock Day, maybe you could use the leftover sock for dusting - or as a puppet to talk to (socks listen really well)
M Make the most of Your Life. Suspend reality for 5 -10 minutes and wite down your ideal life(without limits). My ideal life involves working less hours so i have more time with my DDs, friends and family. I feel like i'm in a permanent state of suspension at the moment as I've got 4 jobs, one of which is FT plus a few bits of casual work but this is so i can focus on overpaying my mortgage as much as possible by building up a savings pot for when my current mortgage deal ends in July. I Identify 3 areas to work on. I need to give myself some breaks so i don't burn out! (see above) Also do regular exercise/activity. Keep eating veg. S SFDs 16 (hard), previous best +1 (easy) Did a big food shop today, getting into double figures is a good achievement for me but i will try to achieve 16 C Challenge runs throughout May. Budgets are set before the start of teh month. OK H Health needs to be a priority (Mental/ Physical/ Spiritual - good for your soul) agree, will give myself down time and fresh air which lifts my spirits I IMPROVE Find ways to make things a tiny bit better or stop them getting worse i turned down some work on a Sat morning in May as i decided a rest was more important E Exercise 4 x 30 mins a week (walking wounded exempt) ok, have been on my bike a couple of times recently so will try to do more bike rides F FUN we all need more fun in our lives yes
A Attitude - Try to adopt a positive attitude (you are allowed sad or bad days) Will do, definitely getting better at this N NO unnecessary spending especially savings thieves like coffee shop coffee. Hardly use unless with DD2, but we try to go to independent places D Debt or Savings should be paid first, live off the rest been debt free for 14 months now and still makes me smile
M Maintenance Start a notebook for regular checks of your home (roof, wall, plumbing, appliances) eek but good idea ! A Alternative Solutions different ways of looking/doing/seeing/being ok Y Your Relationships Listen, hug, avoid/ end. ok H help those in need and add an extra good deed will do E Energy - We all have limits - Simplify, Organise, Delegate (more later) ok M Motivation will be offered on Monday. Self-care Sunday is recommended sounds good
Afternoon turtles
Had a relaxed start to the day as I had a lie in with tea and toast and my book. Today has been spendy as I did a big food shop, including lots of cat food - I often lose NSDs by running out. Also filled up with petrol (& tears, never spent so much on a full tank
for those trying to declutter - keep going as it's worth it in the end. I've always been a hoarder and have lots of paperwork but i had a week off work at Easter and spent 4 days clearing out my bedroom including recycling and shredding loads of paperwork, filled nearly 3 bags for the CS and sold a dressing table on Fb. I'm grateful that I have a spare room (only one DD lives at home now) so i put some stuff in there to sort gradually. I was fed up of not having a calm relaxed bedroom and it is so lovely now i do have a tranquil space that isn't dusty and full of c**p.
Anyway that's enough from me! Good luck everyone
love Deni xx
LBM - October 2018; finally debt free on 16 March 2021 ! NST August NSD 3
2022 Mortgage Free Wannabee #81
2022 Decluttering Campaign member
LBM Jan 2019 - £25.928/Active debt £14816 43% sorted
EF 2020 - May £140/£6000 2%
Housing fund 2020-2023 £1175/6000 19%
Loose 8kg in 2022 1/8 kg, Writing meditations 2022 5/52
I now also have a bills fund w £140 in it, so don't always have to dip into e fund.
Raise extra funds: March £29.83/400 7.5%
Evening Turtles. Smallish spend on postcrete today, could have been less as I wildly overestimated and bought too much. Donated 2 bags to my sister though and am getting a 10 seater dining table in return so a good swap! New (huge) rotary line in place after sitting in my shed for a year, just need some warm weather to get some washing dry. Sorted my wardrobe, and got last years summer clothes out. Ashamed to say a lot still had tags on and I was left scratching my head as to why I had bought half of them. All unwanted bagged up for charity shop so someone will benefit from my frivolity.
All budgets set and invoices sent out for work done. Have one paperwork frog left to do, my self assessment return. I don’t know why I am avoiding it, I worked for them for 30 years so it shouldn’t be a problem! Today I am grateful for my new washing line going in straight, a visit to Dad and him donating me a cold frame.
Replies
Last Thursday was the 1st anniversary of my very DH death ,I spent the week eating junk
The last quote really resonated,thank you .
not sure how I’ll do but I’ll try ,need a challenge I think
Trying to do challenges myself, switched to once a week food shop, minimise food waste (I use all leftovers where possible). Meal plan from the cupboards and freezers where possible.
On a massive declutter mission to find stuff to sell at carboots to clear a small family debt. Can then look at the next one to aim for.
Health wise I lost an old school friend in March to a brain tumour, early 40's. Certainly makes you think and I'm trying to focus on being healthier, booking eyes, dental and physio appointments as needed rather than putting off.
I want to be the best, healthiest version I can be to live my best life now.
My Challenge
My life is somewhat chaotic at the moment. However I have made a start. I like visiting the seaside and the Lake district but don't think I want to live there. I like visiting the city every now and then but definitely don't want to live there. I want a clean calm spacious home as low maintenance as possible
The three things I've Identified as being most in need of attention are my Health, my immediate Environment, and Paperwork.
Health I have 3 months to reverse my last blood test results or I will be insulin dependent. The 3 months is up in May. I have been sticking to a strict diabetic diet and incorporated a chronic pain diet - so low fat, low sugar (none where possible) and cutting out/ reducing meat, dairy and wheat. I'd say I'm at 70-80% effort for 70-80% of the time (I have had 2 kitkats, had scones once, not cut out crisps yet. I need to make a last minute push to get nearer to my target (going for 90% effort, 90% of the time). This week I'll make appointments for my diabetic foot exam and book an eye test. Depression and Mobility are also issues - will be starting 121 CBT counselling on Wednesday and think I need to contact Social Services for information on adaptations and aids (+ investigate whether or not I can have a bus pass due to physical limitations not age).
Environment - my room, my house, my home. Complicated by the fact that DS3 and his Beloved live with me. They both have depression (me too) and health issues BUT I'm too old and infirm to do it all on my own so I need to work out what I can do and try different tactics to get them on board. Most often suggested solution is to chuck them out but not sure I can do that. This is fairly acute as the house is not safe for me, although loads of stuff has gone and it won't be safe for my grand-daughter (due in July) when she starts to move around.
Paperwork is a catch all title for a huge range of issues. For new turtles, my mother died at the beginning of the year. I've dealt with a lot of the estate but there's still a lot to do, some has to wait for probate, it's nearly 3 months now so I will have to set up direct debits for the bungalow bills on my account soon, some things I've been putting off (insurance paperwork - 2 small value policies but a paperwork mountain) and some leftovers (ie started on a task and stopped when I've had enough and there are little bits that didn't get done and I haven't gone back to them). I had to apply for the dreaded Universal Credit (weekly appointments for the first 13 weeks) and finally started the PIP paperwork (forms came yesterday so another paper mountain).
Loads of other stuff too but going to do a few simple bits later and have stuff ready to mail/ deliver on Tuesday and will initiate Frog Friday and do a more difficult task then (or anything on this week's list).
SFDs target is 16, today won't be one of them. Spent money on a taxi to go to mum's church and back (taxi waited whilst I dropped something off). Strictly speaking this should come from the estate - decided I will charge it to the estate, I'm doing enough for free. However I have 2 washing line posts being delivered on Wednesday so need postcrete and posts and panels to replace my 25yo hm fence. Writing a list of small random items - multivitamins, a nail brush - as I go along (some could be incorporated into the food order.
Challenge. I have not set any Budgets yet. I need to but atm I don't have enough to cover my basic needs (I didn't apply for Housing Benefit because I thought it was too much hassle for something that would stop as soon as probate went through). Trying not to spend money but things that need to be done are building up. Travel costs have been greatly reduced - s-i-l is mainly picking me up when I go to mum's bungalow. Last week she persuaded me to put the bin out on Monday when we were there and when I went on Wednesday to bring the bin in again the bus driver just told me to sit down . I walked to Morries and the same driver brought me back and again just motioned me to sit down. This happened quite a lot when I was waiting for my hip operation - some drivers decided I was obviously more handicapped than most of the people waving their bus passes. Will need bus fares for infirmary visits (see if appointments can be on Tuesday or Wednesday so i can combine with bin duty and visiting Morries for ys plant based meals. Food is mainly veggies (bought ys where possible). Social life - I will go to cinema club (afternoon and evening) this month, buy my puzzle book on the 12th (+ the large print one if available), borrow books from the library, DS2 and his Beloved are going to take me out sometime (owed from Mother's Day). Think I will start a list of things to do once probate comes through - book the 2 coach holidays I was interested in, have a day in Southport, get the soil pipe replaced, have a made to measure back gate. Last month I went to Manchester for the first time since March 7th 2020 and my last holiday with mum was a 'Twixmas' break in December 2019. Think I'm overdue a few treats. May make a list of smaller treats (couple of MH books I want) and still not had my promised stationery splurge (Kat said not to).
Make Health a priority. MH - CBT course, possible other counselling, be kind to myself, feeling 'stuck' and numb - freeze reactions. Spiritual - techniques for managing stress, mindfulness (the wellbeing people offered a mindfulness course and a taster session but it was a bit too soon - wary of overcommitting myself). Niece and her mother both have depression so can be 'buddies' and niece was talking about SW sign up (again, didn't want to overcommit but now it might be possible, especially as there's a long waiting list).
Improve - will be using all my little tricks to make things a bit better in every area of my life. Collecting at least a handful of rubbish every time I have one thing for the bin. Follow the original Flylady and start to build up a routine. Use Clutter Clarity for decluttering slowly. Put £2 coins into £2 Toucan and pennies into the tin.
Exercise Physical - will make greater efforts to move. put music on to do some tasks, maybe try circuits of the car park. could go back to specialist weight management services. Have bookmarked some easy chair yoga videos. Will just make a start and do what I can. Aim for spending an hour a day in the garden, even if it's in 15 minute chunks.
Fun want to go to Southport. be amongst trees.
A positive mental attitude. Is crying going to help, if it won't don't bother - sometimes it does help (I watch lassie to make me cry). Not bouncing back as fast as normal - it will happen at some point. I don't have problems, just challenges.
No coffee - easy peasy, can't stand the stuff BUT need to plan meals more so I don't leave it too long between eating.
Debt or Savings first - No debt but only pennies in savings. Probate must come through sometime this month and can then organise most urgent repairs, arrange to sell the bungalow and set up a proper savings account.
Maintenance I'm currently 'caretaker' for 3 houses - Mine needs roof repairs (long waiting list if I want the best), down pipe and one other pipe replacing, adaptations (stair lift, replacement kitchen - current one is 18 years old - that I can use, lots of soft close drawers for heavy stuff and a bath I can get into or a walk in sit down shower at some point), back gate and fence panel need replacing, need to rebuild bricks around the drain, painting overdue (use what we have to do the stair and bannister rail and patch up the walls with handprints all over them), stair carpet.
Mum's bungalow - still some furniture to move, broken furniture and rubbish to be collected, some painting (hopefully what there is can be used to cover the 'spotty' wall and won't show the rest up, some more cleaning, all the raised beds to be weeded, flags swept and scrubbed. Then put up for sale and kept clean until then.
Grandma's house Rented to the same tenant for 28 years. Atm he's bringing me the rent money and I'm accounting for it apart from the rest of the estate. Gas check has been paid for, carbon monoxide detectors (need 2 if the cooker is gas) still to be installed and a long chat with Mr Builder (they phoned to see how I was and to tell me when they're away on holiday) I have another list of checks that need to be done. Structurally sound but may 'need' rewiring.
I'd also like to buy the property next door to mine (deceased tenant was a heavy smoker) but rising prices (and the slowness of probate) means that's galloping out of reach.
So that's probably my year, getting myself fit and well (within current limits), selling one house, possibly buying another (Mr Builder recommended a ground floor flat), dividing the estate with my brother, losing weight, moving more, gardening (may have to do more compromising this year as running out of available hours - everything I have already is fairly low maintenance potatoes, onions, fruit bushes, herbs), building my self-esteem and resilience, taking time to grieve, having fun.
Grateful for counsellors, good tenants, having a few ideas, pacing myself and getting one frog out of the way this morning.
MFWDate: very soonish. I hope...
thank you for the challenge mothernerd
May Challenge
M Make the most of Your Life. Suspend reality for 5 -10 minutes and wite down your ideal life(without limits). My ideal life involves working less hours so i have more time with my DDs, friends and family. I feel like i'm in a permanent state of suspension at the moment as I've got 4 jobs, one of which is FT plus a few bits of casual work but this is so i can focus on overpaying my mortgage as much as possible by building up a savings pot for when my current mortgage deal ends in July.
I Identify 3 areas to work on. I need to give myself some breaks so i don't burn out! (see above) Also do regular exercise/activity. Keep eating veg.
S SFDs 16 (hard), previous best +1 (easy) Did a big food shop today, getting into double figures is a good achievement for me but i will try to achieve 16
C Challenge runs throughout May. Budgets are set before the start of teh month. OK
H Health needs to be a priority (Mental/ Physical/ Spiritual - good for your soul) agree, will give myself down time and fresh air which lifts my spirits
I IMPROVE Find ways to make things a tiny bit better or stop them getting worse i turned down some work on a Sat morning in May as i decided a rest was more important
E Exercise 4 x 30 mins a week (walking wounded exempt) ok, have been on my bike a couple of times recently so will try to do more bike rides
F FUN we all need more fun in our lives yes
A Attitude - Try to adopt a positive attitude (you are allowed sad or bad days) Will do, definitely getting better at this
N NO unnecessary spending especially savings thieves like coffee shop coffee. Hardly use unless with DD2, but we try to go to independent places
D Debt or Savings should be paid first, live off the rest been debt free for 14 months now and still makes me smile
M Maintenance Start a notebook for regular checks of your home (roof, wall, plumbing, appliances) eek but good idea !
A Alternative Solutions different ways of looking/doing/seeing/being ok
Y Your Relationships Listen, hug, avoid/ end. ok
H help those in need and add an extra good deed will do
E Energy - We all have limits - Simplify, Organise, Delegate (more later) ok
M Motivation will be offered on Monday. Self-care Sunday is recommended sounds good
Afternoon turtles
Had a relaxed start to the day as I had a lie in with tea and toast and my book.
Today has been spendy as I did a big food shop, including lots of cat food - I often lose NSDs by running out. Also filled up with petrol (& tears, never spent so much on a full tank
for those trying to declutter - keep going as it's worth it in the end. I've always been a hoarder and have lots of paperwork but i had a week off work at Easter and spent 4 days clearing out my bedroom including recycling and shredding loads of paperwork, filled nearly 3 bags for the CS and sold a dressing table on Fb. I'm grateful that I have a spare room (only one DD lives at home now) so i put some stuff in there to sort gradually. I was fed up of not having a calm relaxed bedroom and it is so lovely now i do have a tranquil space that isn't dusty and full of c**p.
Anyway that's enough from me! Good luck everyone
love Deni xx
NST August NSD 3
2022 Mortgage Free Wannabee #81
2022 Decluttering Campaign member
EF 2020 - May £140/£6000 2%
Housing fund 2020-2023 £1175/6000 19%
Loose 8kg in 2022 1/8 kg, Writing meditations 2022 5/52
I now also have a bills fund w £140 in it, so don't always have to dip into e fund.
Raise extra funds: March £29.83/400 7.5%
MFWDate: very soonish. I hope...
New (huge) rotary line in place after sitting in my shed for a year, just need some warm weather to get some washing dry.
Sorted my wardrobe, and got last years summer clothes out. Ashamed to say a lot still had tags on and I was left scratching my head as to why I had bought half of them. All unwanted bagged up for charity shop so someone will benefit from my frivolity.
Today I am grateful for my new washing line going in straight, a visit to Dad and him donating me a cold frame.