Ex Wife Needs Help With Childcare

salesman1979

The children stay with me roughly 104 nights per year. It literally depends on how bank holidays fall as to whether it’s over or under 104 nights. 

Also, we separated way before I moved to Liverpool which ultimately was for financial reasons. Following covid I’d taken a huge pay cut and simply couldn’t afford to live in Solihull. I moved back here and got a place to share with my brother. I don’t live with my girlfriend. 

But I do see how my email has clearly got her back up. All I wanted was to make sure we both know what’s happening. If this arrangement is as infrequent as she says it will be then that’s fine. But if it’s not then we’ll have a problem and I wanted to make sure we both agreed from there very start rather than it suddenly descending into me trying to change things. 

Lavendyr

As I said, in future I think the best approach will be to be strictly focused on logistics and to remove emotion from it. Best wishes. 

anotheruser

gwynlas said:

Your ex might not like the idea but she could presumably stay at her parents home...

Where have you got this presumption from?
Her parents may be able to drive and look after kids every so often but they may not live close enough by for the ex to stay and being realistic, they aren't going to.

Retireinten

I really think you are over complicating thi! 

Is there not the option to swap your weekends on the odd occasion she needs you to cover a weekend where she's at work? She should give you enough time to change your plans or for an alternative to be found if you're not available but surely, if this is going to be occasional, the easiest option is  to say `Yes, I can do weekend of XX/XX/XX, what weekend shall we swap it for?  You are being flexible and it isn't affecting your costs or your earning potential. And on the odd occasion maybe you can offer to have the kids for an extra weekend and fund it yourself.