Money Moral Dilemma: Should I leave different amounts to my grandchildren in my will?

GB12

Leave them nothing,  p*ss it up against a tree.

GB12

As an aside if your dead why would it matter? Your not going to be around to see the possible squabbles.  You are also are assuming there will be, I would have my doubts. 
Best water the tree then there won't be any squabbles! 

MadW

Each according to their needs, or what you may deem will be their needs. It's no use to someone who already has plenty to give more. You can't treat them all the same because they're not all the same 

JayD

Equal share for them all.

valfan

If you leave less to some of your grandchildren they will be scarred for life. Trust me. You don't want to be doing that. The ones who get less will feel victimized, sad and will wonder what they have done wrong to make you do such a thing.

jedav

This the point at which I'm glad I'm an only child so there was noone to squabble with over an inheritance.
Firstly, remember that it's your money and your will and no individual is entitled to an inheritance, whatever their relationship to you and whatever they might think.
Next what would be 'fair'.  Well it depends on the viewpoint.  It could be equal shares but if one child has one grandchild and another two do you give equal amounts to each grandchild or to each child's family (the pair would get half of the amount given to the only child)?
On the other hand if one family is very well off and the other the opposite could fairness be trying to redress the balance?
I have seen families riven by quarrels over expectations of inheritance, others where the well-off sibling has been happy for the less-well-off to inherit the bulk and others where each family has been treated equally.
Might it be prudent to discuss this in a family conference with your children and see how they might react whilst explaining your reasoning?  Remember leaving in trust issues with under-18s.  Could you redress an inbalance in finance by giving items (jewellery/ornaments, say)?
If you wanted an inbalance could you afford to give some during your lifetime, bearing in mind Inheritance Tax Poentially Exempt Transfer rules?  Such gifts could be less obviously unbalanced.
Essentially you know your family so are more likely to know how the individuals are likely to react.

pickledonionspaceraider

Equal shares for all

1) - To me, it is like punishing the Grandchildren because the parents are successful. How did we become a society where we consider punishing people for hard graft

2) Not leaving equal shares will cause ill feeling - as IMHO a different amount for each, sends out a strong message.  I mean after we are dead and gone, hopefully they will know they are loved, and all we can leave them with is memories and money

2) Just because the parents are well off, doesn't mean they are are generous or giving their children chunks of money to spend as they wish.  In fact chunks of money given by parents are often given with conditions ie its for a specific thing.  

Matilda542

I would definitely leave them the same amount each.  You never know what could happen to their parents wealth in the future. I'd have been a bit put out had my grandparents done that if they'd had any money to leave us.

John_Pierpoint

I have told this story on here before - but bear with me.

Once upon a time if you wanted to check up on a will you had to go to an old building cut off from the Thames by Bazalgette's sewer.  better known as The Embankment; it is called Somerset House. The entrance, through a couple of Edwardian french windows, were up two or three steps, aided by a daily polished brass rail.

As I climbed the steps, the door flew open, releasing a charge of 3 persons. Presumably a family group lead by a central female looking backwards and obviously talking over her shoulder to 2 male relatives of a similar (30s?). Oblibious to my presence, squashed agasinst the hand rail, she was in full flight: "....would you believe it, the crafty old !!!!!!.....".

"Hmm;  I think I understand why he did not leave you anything". Personally, I think inheritance is a lottery, so don't expect your ticket in life to win you the jackpot.

Perhaps because the financially successful side of my family were from farming stock and I have deeds going back 300 years, I would not leave a penny to someone who would "urinate" up the wall. That includes those with addictions, those who put themselves and their perceived needs, before the values of the family.

Like Gordon Brown, I think every "child" should be launched into the world with an initial payment; so we can do away with the moaners "I was born with nothing........". Where I disagree with Gordon Brown was his reduction of the "Accumulation & Maintenance trust from 26 years to 18 tax relief relief purposes. Giving a slug of money to an 18 year old to spend as they see fit is not wise - it could kill them. The grand children are not going to get it until they are 18 anyways [If the solicitor who has written the will and is now an executor knows what he is doing]. Do you trust the parents to do the right thing and not get involved in a messy divorce?       o 

If you are going down the percentage route, remember the largest single beneficiary aiming to get up to 40% is HMRC and they get paid before everyone else. So please make it clear who pays the IHT and the CGT during the probate period, which is likely to last at least a year. Be absolutely certain th will says "being alive at my death" or such a similar clause designed to cater for beneficiaries who have already died or decide to die at about the same time. [You don't want a partially intestate will] .

Personally, I view inferitance as a tribute back to my ancestors NOT an invitation to "clogs to clogs in three generations" [I am 5th generation :-)].

If you have brought up the children with an understanding of money and the right respect for a set of values, perhaps there is nothing to worry about. If not you can create some sort of trust in the hope that their children if any will not be live for the day irresponsible.

Here endeth the sermon :-).  

Drawingaline

I received nothing directly from my grandparents and didn't expect to, it was shared amongst their children, as far as I am aware it was shared equally. My parents chose to do a deed of variation so I received some from both maternal and paternal. I know my cousin who is an only child received a much larger chunk from his well off parent through his dov, but I was happy that my parents chose to share it. They didn't have to! 

My husband received nothing from his grandparents, by the time his grana passed she had been in a home with dementia for over four years and there wasn't even enough left to bury her! 

I feel we will probably do the same, keep our wills to just our kids, and I imagine my parents will to. My brother has no kids, but I wouldn't want him to get anything less than a third of my parents estate (if there is anything to inherit). 

If I had anything of value possession wise I would will those to grandchildren if they had shown an interest in them I think. But it is unlikely we will!