Money Moral Dilemma: Should I leave different amounts to my grandchildren in my will?

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  • just because one family is well off now it doesn't mean that circumstances wont ever change. you never know what may happen in the future. treat them all the same.  
  • Chris_Jay
    Chris_Jay Posts: 64
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    I have three children and four grandchildren. On the advice of my solicitor, when making my Will, I had it written so that my children will have 20% each, and the grandchildren will have 10% each. This way, they will be treated fairly, and the pressure is off me, as I won't have to struggle to see that a promised amount will be in place come the time of my death. I haven't much to leave, it's only going to be small amounts but I hope my family have enough love for me to not actually care about an inheritance, but would rather have me around for longer. 
    It's important to remember, for me, anyway, that an inheritance is a privilege, not a right.
    Maybe the worried grandparent could consider how hurtful this will feel to the grandchildren put out into second place? It could create a rift that never mends.
    Good luck, family relationships aren't easy at the best of times!
  • richardw
    richardw Posts: 19,458
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    Avoid inheritance tax and start giving them equal amounts now. 
    Posts are not advice and must not be relied upon.
  • TimmyMummy
    TimmyMummy Posts: 13
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    I know of actual cases where parents/grandparents left children/grandchildren different amounts of money. It caused nothing but problems for years/decades (and in one case, one of the childen got so angry with the other one that they had a heart attack and died on the spot - that's a true story) and the grand/parents were not well thought of thereafter. Unless your offspring don't actually deserve anything from you, I would strongly advise you treat them the same...
  • retired19
    retired19 Posts: 20
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    No give them equality. You don't know what might happen in future. The better off family might lose their good fortune or the less well off could win the lottery. You love them all equally so give equally. You also don't want to set up jealousy even when you're gone.
  • I would give them the same as you will achieve what you set out to do.  This is because the value of your gift will vary in terms of the perceived benefit of the same amount of money because of what your grandchildren are used to - the ones with richer parents will think that amount of money isn't as great as those with poorer parents - so in effect you will be achieving what your initial thoughts was - give more to the grandchildren with poorer parents than the ones with richer parents.  And all achieved without you showing any bias between your grandchildren.
  • The most important consideration, in my opinion, is that they are all treated the same. Otherwise it could lead to feelings of favouritism and unfairness.
  • REJP
    REJP Posts: 325
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    The financial state of the parents is not relevant.   I have two grandchildren and made them equal bequests in my will.


  • It’s your money, distribute it how you want to.
     I would leave money to your children only, they as parents can decide if your grandchildren receive a benefit now or wait until the parents demise 
    Seek financial advise to see if a gift to your children now would reduce IHT
    OR .....spend the kids inheritance 
  • Leave them the same amount otherwise the ones getting less will feel hurt and maybe hate the other two. Such bad feelings can last for ever. “It’s not fair!”
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