in Deaths, funerals & probate
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If you're worried about family members choosing an option you wouldn't approve of, make sure it is outlined somewhere - in your will or a life book etc - so that your survivors know and understand your wishes. And if someone close to you chooses something you don't approve of for themselves, then just accept their choice and honour their wishes.
Of course, I would accept their choice. You have made an assumption about how I might act based on nothing I have said or done. Why do you think you did that? Do you often find yourself jumping to conclusions about how people might act based on no evidence? Just because I would be disappointed does not mean I would not honour their wishes (assuming it was my choice alone, which it probably would not be). I'm not the funeral police imposing my will on the dead. In fact, as I did say I wouldn't even let them know of my disappointment. It would be totally their choice and I would not be rude and give my two penn'orth.
Perhaps it may have been your phrasing?
However, I doubt that your reaction to BooJewels post is proportionate to what was a measured post.
My Dad chose this as his own parents lived to ages of 94 and 95, and all other close relatives and friends had pre-deceased them them. It was just my parents and a couple of care staff at their funerals.
As things turned out, i was mighty grateful for Dad's choice. Mum has dementia and attending a full blown funeral would not have been in her best interests. It also meant i was able to 'save' a full day of my 5 days bereavement leave and to put it to good use in sorting care for mum, and dealing with the myriad of other stuff that needs attention following a death.
Booking a slot is still necessary, and we definitely were given a choice of times by the funeral director.
I intend a direct cremation for myself.
So it gave us an opportunity to have those conversations and in each case I gave them a nice leather covered notebook and asked them to note down any thoughts they had in respect of their funeral arrangements and other wishes they have for that time. So both are dutifully making notes and I know in each instance where they keep them, so I can fulfil their wishes.
My comments were intended for anyone who might read here - if you have strong feelings on your future funeral - ensure that is a conversation you have with family or noted in some appropriate way. If you've already had that conversation @Northern_Tribe then that's good. I suspect that many don't.