Pure Cremations 15 April 2022 at 1:40PM in Deaths, funerals & probate 38 replies 2.2K views

ladyholly

My sister had a direct funeral and the only people who didnt get it were some of the older people who couldnt understand the concept of no funeral. If we had known about them at the time my Mother would have had one as we have always considered funeral a complete waste of money. My husband and I will also have one much to the relief of my daughter.

Gers

florain said:

My OH died  suddenly in Dec. and we had thought of using a direct cremation company when the time came. Had looked at websites and got a brochure from one to file away.
However, the lovely bereavement team at the hospital warned that it might take a while for the company to collect the body(as in 2-3 weeks not unknown). They then suggested the council 'affordable cremation'. All dealt with 'in house' between hospital, coroner and crematorium and I was kept informed all the way. Possible to have up to 10 mourners present if wanted.
Cost  -   £700

 

A 'normal' funeral company will  not take weeks to collect from a hospital or home. I have read about one of the newer ones which mainly use only their own crematorium not collecting for days - one site in England and one in Scotland.

Your experience is awful although the alternative turned out well even though it wasn't a direct cremation. 

fireworkskaj

I have had a pretty recent experience of this - my father passed away last month. He wasn't someone who would have wanted much fuss, and definitely wouldn't have liked us to spend much money on something big like a funeral. We found a funeral directors who did a pre-10am cremation for less.

It gave us a 20 minute service with a small amount of us present, which was family led. It suited us, and it suited what he would have wanted. The result was a funeral that wasn't as heavy as others, but still offered closure and reflection. Due to the situation still many of our family didn't or couldn't travel, so we paid some extra for a livestream and for the service to be made available to watch for 28 days. It meant our family still felt involved.

When I mentioned what we were doing to family and friends, everyone seemed to understand where we were coming from. It just made sense for us, and they understood it. If it's what you want, and it makes sense for you, people will hopefully understand.

uss_tish

@ZolaBuddy my husband passed away in 2020 and it was always his desire to have a fuss free funeral. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and as our boys were at school/university in the middle of exams he did not want to put them or I through the trauma of a funeral. I am so glad we didn't have to go though that.

Direct cremation is now offered by most if not all funeral places, it cost £1300 and although I knew the date of the cremation we were not aware of the time. For us it worked well and it meant we could celebrate his life and commermorate in other ways. His family supported his wishes. My mum too thought is was a good idea and she herself now wants a direct cremation.

He went to the funeral home the same night he died, the whole process no different as to a normal funeral aside from no ceremony.

mobileron

Exactly what my wife and i will have,the savings will take her to Las Vegas.

Gers

ladyholly said:

My sister had a direct funeral and the only people who didnt get it were some of the older people who couldnt understand the concept of no funeral.

All of my late DM's friends (and she was 93 years old) were on board with the direct cremation and more than happy to attend the gathering months later.  Both my mother and father railed at the idea of funerals / cremations with all the bells and whistles, not just because of the cost but because of formality of them.  My late Dad insisted on having a cardboard coffin (back in the mid-90s), nowadays cardboard is frowned on for cremations so a simple pine coffin is normal.

Showing respect for the dead used to mean spending a lot of money, money which many couldn't afford and which was sometimes saved up for years and years. Now, we respect the dead just as much and show it in different ways, at long last the modern world is inching its way into care for the dead, no less mourning just more celebrating.

BooJewels

I'd agree Gers.  It was certainly the older ones that have had issues with the idea - at least initially.  I think it was just such an ingrained practice that anything new takes a while to get used to.   And it certainly isn't any less respectful - all the important people in my husband's life, each did their own thing to mark it and say goodbye their own way - we all decided on balance that it was preferable to doing it communally in public - it removes that whole self-conscious thing of grieving with an audience. 

And as @uss_tish said, my husband knew he was dying for a long while and it was his decision and I think some of his concern was saving me and our son from enduring it.  And as she also said, he was collected from home about 2 hours after he died. 

shiraz99

Gers said:

florain said:

My OH died  suddenly in Dec. and we had thought of using a direct cremation company when the time came. Had looked at websites and got a brochure from one to file away.
However, the lovely bereavement team at the hospital warned that it might take a while for the company to collect the body(as in 2-3 weeks not unknown). They then suggested the council 'affordable cremation'. All dealt with 'in house' between hospital, coroner and crematorium and I was kept informed all the way. Possible to have up to 10 mourners present if wanted.
Cost  -   £700

 

A 'normal' funeral company will  not take weeks to collect from a hospital or home. I have read about one of the newer ones which mainly use only their own crematorium not collecting for days - one site in England and one in Scotland.

Your experience is awful although the alternative turned out well even though it wasn't a direct cremation. 

My dad passed on the 9th of last month and it took about 2 weeks until everything was sorted with the register and the body was finally released by the hospital. Unfortunately in these Covid times everything is indeed taking a lot longer.

Gers

shiraz99 said:

Gers said:

florain said:

My OH died  suddenly in Dec. and we had thought of using a direct cremation company when the time came. Had looked at websites and got a brochure from one to file away.
However, the lovely bereavement team at the hospital warned that it might take a while for the company to collect the body(as in 2-3 weeks not unknown). They then suggested the council 'affordable cremation'. All dealt with 'in house' between hospital, coroner and crematorium and I was kept informed all the way. Possible to have up to 10 mourners present if wanted.
Cost  -   £700

 

A 'normal' funeral company will  not take weeks to collect from a hospital or home. I have read about one of the newer ones which mainly use only their own crematorium not collecting for days - one site in England and one in Scotland.

Your experience is awful although the alternative turned out well even though it wasn't a direct cremation. 

My dad passed on the 9th of last month and it took about 2 weeks until everything was sorted with the register and the body was finally released by the hospital. Unfortunately in these Covid times everything is indeed taking a lot longer.

That's different to what the OP implied.  The need for more official processes will delay a cremation / funeral, however when there are no reasons for further investigations then the deceased can be released once death has been confirmed.  My late DM was removed from her house within two hours of the formal declaration and form from one of the district nurses who were providing palliative care to her. The uplift was no less respectful or slow because of the choice of a direct cremation.

Sometimes there is, unfortunately, a backlog.  The cremation of an elderly aunt in Germany was delayed by six weeks because of numbers of deaths during a winter flu epidemic.  Nothing to do with the funeral directors.  Probably the same was happening here during COVID, again, not the fault of the funeral directors.

boxofpaws

My Mum and Dad paid for Pure Cremations at the start of the pandemic and I asked them to reconsider as I would want the formal farewell. When my Dad was diagnosed with late stage cancer a few months later, I begged him to allow me to undo the arrangement. I couldn’t bear the thought of his body being carted to the other end of the country and being cremated so far from home. 

To their credit, Pure Cremations made it simple to get a refund, and we used a small local funeral director. They (local funeral director) assured me that the PC arrangement would have been very dignified but I felt we needed the traditional send off. Maybe I would have felt differently if lockdown had not meant that having a funeral was the only way to get together to say goodbye. 

My point is, Pure Cremations offer a dignified and much needed service, but please think about the needs of those you leave behind. Funerals are never pleasant but sometimes they are what is needed to help the grieving process.