Helping a friend in trouble

edited 14 April 2022 at 2:18PM in Marriage, relationships & families
13 replies 1.4K views
annabe1annabe1 Forumite
1 Post
Does anyone have any ideas how I can help a friend struggling financially? I offered £ but of course he turned it down.
He’s a proud guy, rents a room in a house, works at Aldi, doesn’t have any family in this country.  
He’s so stressed & frustrated.

Other than offering cash is there anything a friend did to help if you’ve been in this situation?

thank you 🙏


  • gizmo111gizmo111 Forumite
    2.6K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Food and toiletries gift
    Mama read so much about the dangers of drinking alcohol and eating chocolate that she immediately gave up reading.
  • tacpot12tacpot12 Forumite
    7.2K Posts
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Is there any work you might get them to do for you. They might be willing to accept payment if they feel they are doing somethignthat you could not do yourself. 
    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • comeandgocomeandgo Forumite
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    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Feed him .  Check if he is entitled to any benefits
  • maisie_catmaisie_cat Forumite
    1.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Academoney Grad
    Invite him round for dinner and always make too much so he takes leftovers. Invite him around and ask him to cook or help you cook cuisine from his country.
    Help him to improve his prospects so that he can aim away from working at Aldi
  • sherambersheramber Forumite
    16.1K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper
    Help him use one of the benefit calculators to see if he is entitled to anything.

  • Retireby40Retireby40 Forumite
    758 Posts
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Posts Name Dropper
    Does he work full time? If not maybe he could get a second job in the hospitality sector.

    Does he live in London and that's what's eating his money with flatshares ridiculous prices?

    Offering food, money etc will often make someone feel worse although you're doing it with the best of intentions. In the good weather throw a bbq and invite him around etc.

  • zagfleszagfles Forumite
    19.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Chutzpah Haggler
    Suggest he could register on here and have anonymous help working through his budget and looking at his finances in detail.
    Indeed, if he's working full time he should earn at least £19k, has he got debts, big outgoings, if he's only renting a room how much is that costing? If he's foreign he might not understand the costs of things here and so get ripped off, eg some people pay £50 a month for their mobile! He could do an SOA and post it on the DFW board where people will identify savings

  • diystarter7diystarter7 Forumite
    5.1K Posts
    1,000 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    The good friend, you need to ask yourself how he got into money trouble.
    If it is not gambling or living beyond his means, then you need to consider helping him.

    He could of course help himself by cutting back, working more hours, getting a second job or changing jobs for a better-paid job.

    When I left school/college It was about 3 months before I turned 18. I got a job 2 months before IE turned 18.
    Straight away I wanted a car and mum and dad put me straight told me to get a full driver's licence first  - then they stopped be from getting a car on HP. Though I was upset they were right

    What I am saying and hardly anyone else is bar one

    Why is he in money toruble, is it as I've said, or another said paying x for his mobile or tv package, has some item/s on hp, living in a rented place that does not match his income, etc

    Just offering money without knowing what is going on is not right.

    Before you spend, remember the 
    MSE Money Mantras. Ask yourself, do I need it? Can I afford it? If the answer is NO to any of those questions, DON’T buy it.  (Quote from MSE  15/11/22)

    Politeness & courtesy are some of the few things in life that are free. Please remember that when posting, I may ignore permanently the unpolite, tedious, unconstructive and deliberately obtuse comments. Do endeavour to follow me around the forums. Many thanks.
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