The turtle moves.... slowly

killerpeaty

I try to build in an unexpected spend into my budget. There's so much to gradually get for the flat (literally years in progress, I still don't have a laundry basket) and sometimes you need to take the win. Having said that, I did buy a sofa spontaneously, I do not recommend that.

South_coast

joedenise said:

It would be awful if you got some now and then later on were unable to get matching ones!

Yes! I am completely obsessed with things matching, so I too would have stocked up when the opportunity arose!

astrocytic_kitten

I just wrote a long post then lost it 🤦‍♀️

So basically - thanks @joedenise, @SouthCoast, @killerpeaty!

I have money specifically earmarked for some new furniture I need, and yet I’m finding myself completely resisting spending any of it. Most pressingly, I’m using a cardboard box for a bedside table as I had a shelf in my last place, and I’m talking myself out of every second hand option I see as not being quite right. And then talking myself out of new ones that are right because I wanted to be sustainable and reuse stuff.

Also, I have finished the last of the mini eggs for this year 😭

savingholmes

Sad about the mini eggs. I wanted more too and couldn't find any

astrocytic_kitten

Slowly getting my way through all the admin stuff that needs done after moving, though not without incident - not a single thing has been straightforward and everything has required multiple phone calls and/or emails and live chats to sort which is exhausting 🤦‍♀️ Not sure if I’m having a particularly unlucky time of it or if it’s always been like this and I’ve just forgotten because it’s been a while since I last moved.

I’m also starting to make progress on getting quotes etc for the work I want to do. I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed over the past couple of weeks about just HOW MUCH there is to do, and mostly how I decide what to prioritise for spending out of the stuff that isn’t an immediate safety concern. 

I’m planning / needing to do it bit by bit both for financial reasons and so my health can hold up to the disruption and give me time to recover in between bouts of work but I’ve been struggling with finding a balance between (1) the order in which a sensible renovation would be done, in an ideal world (2) the order I want to (or can afford to / can face to) do things in, and (4) the order in which I can actually get people to come out and quote for the work, let alone get me booked in. 

I have a plan of action taking all of that into account… so now I just need to come to terms with spending the money sitting there earmarked for it 😂. I have some weird guilt over spending what will be close to 10k on home stuff when so many people are struggling so badly and not too long ago I was one of them, and then also wondering if I should pay it off the mortgage instead. I’ve literally never in my life been in the position of having money like this to spend that wasn’t funded by debt, and I keep on feeling guilty that the flat is definitely liveable so is there really any need to do any of it. I’d also be doing a lot of the work myself if I was well, so it’s weird to get used to the thought of paying someone to do things I used to be able to do myself.

BUT. My justifications are that there’s no doubt it’s outdated, it took ages to sell in a very hot market because of that, and I’m not planning on luxury finishes or doing anything for the sake of it - just updating things so it doesn’t have peeling wallpaper and to make kitchen repairs etc. And if I was to have some kind of catastrophic financial situation where I had to sell up, that 10k would probably be much better off being put towards making it a flat that will sell quickly and hopefully for a premium (and which also means I have somewhere nice and comfortable and relaxing to live in the meantime), instead of a lower mortgage and a place that is harder to sell. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway! 

I feel like there’s a whole mindset shift I need to have from the paying off debt one. I do still want to be frugal, sustainable, not wasteful in any way. But I also need to get a bit better with the thought of it being ok to spend money on things that will make my life better. I think I’m going to use the 10% of bonus money I put aside to spend on fun stuff each year on a series of massages, which always really help me relax but which I struggle to justify financially when I already spend loads more than most people on trying to prop up my health.

Well that is a very long ramble! I’m going to try to get back into the habit of updating regularly here, then you can all hear my internal dialogue over if white kitchens are on the way out and I should go for painted cabinets instead. Riveting I’m sure 🤣

redofromstart

Does it not being up to your standard impact on your health and mindset?

I am always reluctant to spend money on anything (other than cats/jumpers/books), but when I do I try not to invest in things that will date quickly

astrocytic_kitten

redofromstart said:

Does it not being up to your standard impact on your health and mindset?

I am always reluctant to spend money on anything (other than cats/jumpers/books), but when I do I try not to invest in things that will date quickly

After breaking up with my ex and then getting my last place exactly how I liked it instead of living with someone else’s taste / rental furniture I didn’t like / etc I realised how happy it made me to be living somewhere I loved. I used to just gaze at my shelves full of plants and books and feel happy 😄. I spend so much time at home and I’m quite a visual person, so it really does make a difference to me to like my surroundings. I’m quite stressed at the moment because everywhere I look I see a whole load of jobs that need done and I can’t physically do them myself. Obviously it would be better to learn to mentally let go of the need for my surroundings to be calm and peaceful, but I’ve not managed that yet 😂

I’m going to try to get my bedroom sorted first, which involves paying someone to do lots of little diy jobs I’d normally do myself but can’t, and then paying someone to decorate which I’ve always done myself before too... I’m hoping that once I have one room that’s peaceful and I can retreat to I’ll feel much better about the rest. 

There’s some things that definitely need fixed / replaced before they become even bigger maintenance issues further down the line, like water has been getting in through the back of the worktop in the kitchen for ages so the worktop and the cupboard under it both need replaced. And I really don’t like the kitchen, so I’d love to either wrap or spray paint the cabinets at the same time as getting the worktop replaced. It will cost much less than getting a new kitchen, and will mean I’m not paying for a new worktop I don’t like to go with the kitchen cabinets I don’t like…but when added to everything else it tends to spiral. Especially when I start to second guess the white kitchen cabinets I’ve been wanting but not getting for the past decade by wondering if the fact I’ve wanted it for so long means it’ll soon be out of date 😂

I’ve ended up with more money than expected from the sale and have paid a chunk of it back into the mortgage (today! Finally managed to get online access to it sorted), I’d kept some money aside for essential work but an unexpected work bonus has increased the budget and I’m thinking I’ll move up the priority list some things I’d been planning to wait a year or so for. That’s mostly decorating the whole flat now, instead of living with a depressing palette of browns on the walls. I had planned to live with the rooms for a while to decide what colours would suit the new place, but I’d happily have it all painted white now if it gets rid of the brown 😂 Getting some of the more cosmetic changes out of the way now also means I can increase my monthly mortgage overpayment from the original plan, because there’ll be less to save for. The flat is stuck in the 60s with the odd 80s update and more recent bodged diy so over the next 5-10 years pretty much everything needs done to it. 

astrocytic_kitten

Also - I seem to be spending so much on the cats lately 😂 they had the entire feliway suite of products for the move but the stresshead cat is still very stressy, so I’m now working my way though calming supplements online (and then passing them to friends with anxious cats when they don’t work on my boy) and buying lots of new toys to try to help. I’ll probably end up spending a fortune at the vet if none of that works anyway. It’s a good job he’s cute!

savingholmes

How fantastic you got more for your last flat than expected - and you've been able to make headway on your new mortgage. A bonus as well - that's fantastic. Unless you go completely mad - what you spend now will be an investment - and with inflation as high as it is - doing it now rather than later could cost you less. I say go for it. It's part of why you became debt free so that you would have choices. I wouldn't be able to live in horrible drab colours either. As you say you also have health conditions that mean you need more help. Doubly go for it. Enjoy yourself. Make it home. A refuge. A retreat. 

Merlin's_Beard

astrocytic_kitten said:

Also - I seem to be spending so much on the cats lately 😂 they had the entire feliway suite of products for the move but the stresshead cat is still very stressy, so I’m now working my way though calming supplements online (and then passing them to friends with anxious cats when they don’t work on my boy) and buying lots of new toys to try to help. I’ll probably end up spending a fortune at the vet if none of that works anyway. It’s a good job he’s cute!

Heard good things about the YuCalm cat supplements alongside the feliway stuff.