Money Wedding Gift

ltbaker1986

There are so many cake stands, champagne glasses and personalised pictures you can receive as a gift, if they asked for money via a cringy poem then its probably because they've been living together a while and already have their home how they would like it. I personally would cover the cost of the meal/drinks or anything that has been covered for you to enjoy in their special day and double that. The gift of money would be well received. 

Pollycat

ltbaker1986 said:

There are so many cake stands, champagne glasses and personalised pictures you can receive as a gift, if they asked for money via a cringy poem then its probably because they've been living together a while and already have their home how they would like it. I personally would cover the cost of the meal/drinks or anything that has been covered for you to enjoy in their special day and double that. The gift of money would be well received. 

As I said upthread - we know them well.
I would not under any circumstances have bought a cake stand, champagne glasses or a personalised picture.
I bought what I knew they would appreciate.
And they did.
The gift of gin was well received - regardless of what the cringy poem asked for.
The 2 special bottles of gin would have cost more than our share of the evening buffet, no meal and no drinks provided.
My money. My choice.

pickledonionspaceraider

We didn't ask for money, but I can see why people do - it avoids the below

 we have been teetotallers for years, and we were given at least three sets of Mr and Mrs champagne flutes, a set of Teeny tiny little dessert forks (we never eat desert and certainly not with a fork the size of a dolls fork) and several picture frames, one of which was horrific. 

Were all in the charity shop within a week

Pollycat

pickledonionspaceraider said:

We didn't ask for money, but I can see why people do - it avoids the below

 we have been teetotallers for years, and we were given at least three sets of Mr and Mrs champagne flutes, a set of Teeny tiny little dessert forks (we never eat desert and certainly not with a fork the size of a dolls fork) and several picture frames, one of which was horrific. 

Were all in the charity shop within a week

I wouldn't have bought champagne glasses (his'n'hers? Yuk) for teetotalers or dessert forks for people who don't eat desserts.
That happens when you invite people to your wedding that know little about you.

TheJP

kazwookie said:

I hate that type of request with vengeance.

I take a bottle of champers and a card and have done with it.

Why? They have invited you to share their day, been clear on gifts (you don't have to gift anything if you don't want to). My rule of thumb on cash gifts is a) how close i am to them. b) the value of a good day out inc food and booze. Usually i give about £50.

Depends on how generous you feel. However you state you aren't close to them, so why bother going if you are asking this question?

TheJP

pickledonionspaceraider said:

The way we work it is:

• Close family member or friend £100
• Outer circle family or friend £50
• Work colleague kind of level, and then £20 

I always give money.  I would never insist on giving a present when someone asks for money.  It is their day, and I would rather give money towards a honeymoon/house deposit, or whatever, - than give them something they do not want or need (and the present is in my style of home furnishing etc, NOT theirs).

I think in these circumstances, if guests insist on giving a gift, it  looks more like a passive-aggressive statement, than well wishes.  Remember, a lot of wedding presents end up the charity shops.

This is inter-changeable:

• Close family member or friend £20 (don't get on with family)
• Outer circle family or friend £50 - 150 (great friends)
• Work colleague kind of level, and then £50 - 150 (great friends)

Pollycat

TheJP said:

kazwookie said:

I hate that type of request with vengeance.

I take a bottle of champers and a card and have done with it.

Why? They have invited you to share their day, been clear on gifts (you don't have to gift anything if you don't want to). My rule of thumb on cash gifts is a) how close i am to them. b) the value of a good day out inc food and booze. Usually i give about £50.

Depends on how generous you feel. However you state you aren't close to them, so why bother going if you are asking this question?

Because that is the prerogative of the person gifting.

As I posted upthread:

Pollycat said:

My money. My choice.

pjcox2005

Patti27 said:

666666 said:

I was searching for similar guidance and found this thread. In my case it's for my spouse's best friend and I was thinking of gifting £150 as a couple and wondering if it's appropriate. 

I brought up my thread with some colleagues & friends.  After discussing the comments, the general consensus was anything between £100 - £150 is appropriate.

I would suggest that having conversations will often lead to a) people inflating what they actually give so they don't appear tight when discussing it, and b) have a bias depending on your income/social groups. If you are on minimum wage you'd be working for over two days just to give money to an event you've been invited to at the £100 level.

If the invite read come to this event but we expect you to work two/three days for the benefit of attending then everyone would think you're ridiculous. Particularly if you're well off and set up well and expecting that level of gift.

Personally just give what you can afford, don't over think it and don't care about the consequences as few will think of you based on a gift. I've probably ranged between all answers but i give more now i'm older than I would have when i was in my 20s saving up for a house & my own wedding and on a lower wage. Perhaps people thought I was tight but the aim is to share the day and help them enjoy it.

pjcox2005

Perhaps for cash or honeymoon gift lists there is a market for anonymous donations (but a note you've gifted at the end) so everybody knows that nobody will find out actual amounts to take the stress away. May raise less for the bride and groom though.

Brie

Pollycat said:

pickledonionspaceraider said:

We didn't ask for money, but I can see why people do - it avoids the below

 we have been teetotallers for years, and we were given at least three sets of Mr and Mrs champagne flutes, a set of Teeny tiny little dessert forks (we never eat desert and certainly not with a fork the size of a dolls fork) and several picture frames, one of which was horrific. 

Were all in the charity shop within a week

I wouldn't have bought champagne glasses (his'n'hers? Yuk) for teetotalers or dessert forks for people who don't eat desserts.
That happens when you invite people to your wedding that know little about you.

We were given a wooden decoy duck.  Do we get a prize!!!