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Disagreeing Over Expensive Pram ...

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  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,309 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    pjcox2005 said:
    Likewise, are you planning more kids and keeping this pram in which case how much are you wasting buying new.
    Still not quite as simple as that: unless you leave a decent gap between babes, a double something is going to be needed more than a pram. I did have a pram seat for a toddler on the Silver Cross, but it always felt like an accident waiting to happen!

    For a first child, I can see huge benefits in a 'system' where you can interchange carrycot, car seat and buggy. I'd have loved one for DS2, who was a late walker, and I was forever hauling him around in his car seat, because it was easier than transferring him to the buggy. But they weren't a thing back then, and by the time DS3 arrived they were new, expensive, not available 2nd hand, and we were stony broke.

    My concern would be that you'd buy this fancy pram (I'm hoping it's a system rather than JUST a pram), have a large baby who outgrows the pram part in 5 minutes, and then find the rest of it doesn't work for you. It's hard to properly assess these things, you really need to play with it extensively.

    And you need to think about your needs: will you be using buses / trains? Mastering the art of folding and unfolding it one handed is essential - and you'll have a wriggling baby and a nappy bag in the other hand.

    But communication is essential. I'd be calculating what else I could do with £900, as pjcox suggested.

    Or the in-laws buy it!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 2,911 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Just another aspect - consider the nesting instinct. This is a real thing and means that the conversation is more than a discussion about spending money sensibly or even wants for a shiny new gadget. 
    Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • rach_k
    rach_k Posts: 2,254 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Who will be using the pram most?  I think it's reasonable that whoever that is gets more say on it.

    I also think it's worth considering how much the child will use it.  If you go out most days for a couple of hours and it's used for 2 years, even the most expensive prams aren't too badly priced per hour!  

    I'm definitely biased in favour of just getting the one your partner wants as I tried to be very thrifty with the pushchair we got for our first and it didn't really work out.  My mum wanted to buy it for us, so we went with a baby shop's own brand, which said it did everything the more expensive options did.

    It was okay for a few months, although there were a few little niggles with it, but once my daughter wanted to sit up, it turned out that it just didn't work for us (it was only forward facing as a pushchair).  I then bought a very cheap second-hand one that would parent face, to check that it was actually the forward facing that was the problem (it was).  A few weeks of managing with that and we decided just to buy the all singing, all dancing expensive pushchair I would've bought from the start if money hadn't been a consideration.  We wasted money on the cheap one (and they don't hold their resale value, unlike the more expensive brands).  The expensive one was used for a total of 4 years by my children and another 4 by my sister.  I expect it still can be sold for some decent cash.


  • DeeShoot
    DeeShoot Posts: 10 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary First Post
    The pram we used for our 3 children came from a family friend who's own 3 children had also gone through using it.  It was a swanky one that was a crib, pram and buggy.  (It was a nightmare to put up and down though).  However our children have no idea that they were in a second hand pram and apart from doing our bit for the environment we saved some money to put to better use.  If you're planning on having lots of kids - then if it floats your partners boat to have a new one then get her parents to buy it. The pram then went on to service another family - I hope it's still doing the rounds - it was a robust appliance and deserved to be much used. 
    nb - it was also one of those prams where you could have eye contact with the baby at all times. 
  • TripleH
    TripleH Posts: 3,188 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    How many children do you intend to have?
    Why should the second or subsequent children have to put up with 'used' equipment if the first gets brand new?
    (I am a second child). But that is the logic. If you expect to have multiple children it might make sense to buy a shiny new pram.
    Also watch for clothes. People spend silly on cute outfits babies wear once before outgrowing / stain with vomit etc.

    May you find your sister soon Helli.
    Sleep well.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    TripleH said:
    Also watch for clothes. People spend silly on cute outfits babies wear once before outgrowing / stain with vomit etc. 
    I was very lucky with our first born. A local woman had twins a couple of months before ours was born. The children had two sets of wealthy, doting grandparents who tried to out-do each by buying clothes, toys and equipment.  Some of the clothes had only been worn once so that the grandparents could see them in 'their' purchases. 
    Their mother sold them on for a fraction of the original price. 
  • sheramber
    sheramber Posts: 22,414 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper
    It is no different ot the bride to be who wants to spend thousands on a wedding that could be done for a lot less.

    The person who buys a flash new car when a much cheaper second hand would do the same job 

    We all have our own aspirations. Yours and your wife's don't agree so you need to sit down and discuss it. 

    She thinks you are being unreasonable. You think she is being unreasonable. 

    Marriage is a partnership where you should be discussing this, not asking for supporting views from strangers on the internet. 
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 2,911 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    sheramber said:
    It is no different ot the bride to be who wants to spend thousands on a wedding that could be done for a lot less.

    The person who buys a flash new car when a much cheaper second hand would do the same job 

    We all have our own aspirations. Yours and your wife's don't agree so you need to sit down and discuss it. 

    She thinks you are being unreasonable. You think she is being unreasonable. 

    Marriage is a partnership where you should be discussing this, not asking for supporting views from strangers on the internet. 
    I agree that they should talk and work together to resolve this, but anonymously asking for the advice of others seems very sensible - we should never assume that we have all the information or that others will not be able to add valuable perspectives. This is particularly true when an impasse is reached. They say it takes a village to raise a child, I'd say that was true for a happy relationship also - it is unfair to expect a partner to have all the answers.
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    For free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.
  • Prams get filled up with grime, food and snot within the first five minutes of use. You are so completely knackered all the time you'll not notice until you try selling it believing that it's in perfect condition and then realise it's actually really gross! The grandparents bought a mid range pram/car seat/pushchair system for us at a decent price, but our daughter walked from a very early age and we rarely ever used any of it.
  • TripleH
    TripleH Posts: 3,188 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    The priority should be practicality over posser. If a pram is expensive because it is useful (serves also as pushchair, has removable baby carrier etc) then again spending a lot makes sense.
    If you're buying to impress then why buy new? Used and expensive implies inherited from money which a lot seem to go for.
    May you find your sister soon Helli.
    Sleep well.
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