Disagreeing Over Expensive Pram ...

unforeseen

No different to the 50s or 60s where every parent seemed to want a coach built Silver Cross. 

theoretica

Adamc said:

Am I being unreasonable by setting a pram budget?

I would try to agree a baby budget - rather than each item as it comes up.  Or you will find yourselves buying and discussing the cost of slings, prams, carseats, cribs...  But trying to agree both a monthly budget and an annual one for the more expensive stuff that is bought less frequently might help.  And then the discussion becomes whether to splash out on one expensive thing or lots of middling things.

Hand me downs can be justified as 'try for free' - if you use it and like it you can then think about whether you want to replace it (or not get round to it!).  But so many families find some stuff just doesn't work for them and their baby.

CookieMonster

You're being entirely reasonable.

This is a taste of things to come,
Good luck.

Savvy_Sue

unforeseen said:

No different to the 50s or 60s where every parent seemed to want a coach built Silver Cross. 

In the 80s, I had a Silver Cross pram chassis with a carrycot body. It was AMAZING for the baby stage as long as it didn't have to go in the car, or a small shop.

It came from my aunt, and had served her children and some of her grandchildren. I think I passed it on to my sister.

But for the OP, whatever and however you buy, make sure it works for you. My in-laws bought us a (secondhand) Silver Cross pushchair. It was OK, but the handles were on the low side, and again, it was too big and heavy to go in the car. I picked up a folding buggy  (secondhand) which I used a lot more.

The economics of it need talking about. Is your partner an only child? Have they struggled to get where they are financially? Is buying new just what they do?

DH and I were used to second hand, and saw no harm in it. Plus I gave up work so money was tight, as it was for most of my baby friends. I can imagine that if I'd been mixing with friends who all bought new, I might have briefly felt pressured.

kimwp

I think a key question is why? Seek to understand why they want to spend the additional money.

Thrugelmir

Adamc said:

My partner has made it clear they'd like a fancy pram. I suggested we get the one they want but second hand. This has caused annoyance to both them and the in laws who say this is unacceptable.

 

Suggest that the inlaws might like to pay for it then and anything else for that matter. It's your money , your choice. 

SunnyCyprus

Am I right in assuming your partner is first time mum-to-be?  Because I remember that excitement, wanting all new things, and how hard it can be to rationalise with a baby-affected brain!! 

I wanted a fancy travel set, but ended up with a second hand pram, and a separate baby carrier that didn't match, so I couldn't take the carrier from car to buggy.

If the inlaws are able to, maybe suggest they gift half the price of the new buggy? 

Also, has the desired buggy been tested to fit in to your car/s? 

It might be great for one car, but entirely unsuitable for another. 

london21

A lot of people tend to overspend on their first child as they can be too excited.

You can communicate with them and maybe meet in the middle.

My sister for her 3rd child did buy a 2nd hand expensive pram in excellent condition but baby was bron March 2020 so barely even used it and resold it on eventually. 

pjcox2005

On the face of it, no it doesn't seem unreasonable to have a cheaper (still high quality) pram and use the money elsewhere.

Not quite as simple as that, if you're a millionaire or are splashing out on own expensive hobbies when new equipment isn't required, then I'd probably see why they are annoyed.

What's funds like for maternity leave? Are you covered or does saving £300/£400 on a second hand pram help extend that further i.e. put it in context for them. Likewise, are you planning more kids and keeping this pram in which case how much are you wasting buying new.

SootySweep1

Hi
Have you discussed any kind of budget to buy all the kit for your new arrival? So you could say ok if we spend £x on this super doopa pram we've only got £y to pay for....
When you've had children you recognise that second hand is ok but when it's your first you can get caught up in the excitement of buying lots of nice new things for the baby.