Disagreeing Over Expensive Pram ...

Adamc

Hi 

My partner has made it clear they'd like a fancy pram. I suggested we get the one they want but second hand. This has caused annoyance to both them and the in laws who say this is unacceptable.

Am I being unreasonable by setting a pram budget? We will split the cost but I categorically will not pay anywhere near £900 for a pram. My view is that baby will not be adversely affected in any way by having secondhand things and the money saved would much better be spent elsewhere. 

They are also dead against hand-me-downs that my sister has saved for us. 

 

[Deleted User]

I'd agree with you, but that doesn't necessarily help. Most first time parents probably want everything to be perfect. It's often only after the fact, or when you have your second, that you realise you can quite happily get by on second hand or even free stuff.

Obviously not a view that your partner's family subscribes to though.

I bought the Maclaren Mach 3 pram for our first child, which was pretty expensive and not worth the expenditure, but in my defence, it was black and silver and therefore really manly.

And of course, it was called the Maclaren Mach 3, and not the Little Kitty Boogaloo pram or some such girly nonsense.

HRH_MUngo

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but your partner obviously does.  I think you need to talk to each other and see if any compromised can be made. 

Brie

Any chance that you can change their minds by a bit of persuasion?  I'm thinking if you say something like "The pram is soo very lovely but soooo expensive!  Think of what some of that money would do for Junior in 10 or 20 years time!  Why if we both agree to put the difference between a new and second hand one into a JISA then there'd be money sitting waiting for Junior when s/he is ready for uni/buying a house/sailing across the Atlantic/travelling to Thailand!!"

If that doesn't work then say "tough! I've already bought the second hand one.  Don't like it? Then butter off!!"

Flugelhorn

seems a crazy amount to spend on a pram, in the longer scale they don't actually spend that much time in it - you end up getting a stroller or something similar as it is lighter and fits in the car more easily. 
Perhaps best to set a budget for baby stuff and see what you can get for it 

thegreenone

I agree with Flugelhorn re buggies and car. Do make sure any pram fits. Our first fitted with a changing bag and nothing else. Nothing else. We had to buy a roof rack and box for our first holiday. A friend had to fold down the double seat in her hatchback to fit hers in.

Ahem...... Also worth thinking about whether you want any more children and the impact that may have.

Like others, I have the t-shirt, and agree with you.

bouicca21

My grandchild was too big for the pram before 6 months. Fortunately it was the sort that could turn into a buggy, because that will be used for years.  For that I think buying new is justifiably MSE.

Babies grow remarkably quickly.  Secondhand for most baby stuff is definitely the way to go.  

Marvel1

You are right, I would say if the in laws are sticking their nose in then they can pay for it.

Teapot55

Can I make a plea to prospective parents to buy prams and/or pushchairs (secondhand if necessary) where the child faces the parent? It’s so much better for the child/parent relationship and for the child’s emotional development and learning!

Flugelhorn

Teapot55 said:

Can I make a plea to prospective parents to buy prams and/or pushchairs (secondhand if necessary) where the child faces the parent? It’s so much better for the child/parent relationship and for the child’s emotional development and learning!

we had one of those - lovely to see the child and chat to them  but fortunately the pushchair  was one that could be turned round to face the other way if needed  - first child was about 10 months and started leaning out and looking around the pushchair to see where we were going, time to change the direction...

HampshireH

If the in-laws think you are being unreasonable then they are welcome to purchase it for their daughter and their soon to be grandchild.


We had a bundle which included pram carseat, highchair, bouncer, travel cot and various other bits. Great value for money at about £450, new.

Sold the pram for £100 9 months later and replaced it for an immaculate 2nd hand 3 wheeler better for offroading, far more comfortable and which would last much much longer.

No baby needs a £900 pram. Personally I think it's outrageous they cost that much. But I guess it's like anything.

Whatever you do make sure it fits in the car as mentioned above. It's not all that practical if you can't get anything else in and need to go shopping. Been there done that.

Side note: The majority of the contents of our child's wardrobe thus far has also been second hand unless gifted. Only new bits are bits we didn't have in the bundles of clothes we picked up, In fact most things have been 2nd hand. It's saved us thousands.