How to be assertive

sim2335

It’s hard to ignore because he lectures about it 

Teapot55

You could say things like: “that’s really kind of you to come up with ideas for what I should do. I’ve had a really good think about those ideas and I’ve decided that’s not the best thing for me to do”.

Pollycat

sim2335
I posted this on one of your threads on 22/8/2021:

Pollycat said:

Sim2335
I really don't think that continually posting things that he says or does that annoys you is helping.

You either:

1. put up with his ways because he's a good friend despite his shortcomings
2. tell him that some of the things he says annoys you and hope he'll take it on board and change
3. cut him out of your life

And I re-posted it on another of your posts on 15/11/2021 with the additional comment:

Pollycat said:

I posted this advice on the OP's earlier thread about the 'friend' who was lying about his job - and here we are 3 months later.
My advice is still relevant.

And the advice is still relevant today.

You moan about your friend and then defend him when posters criticise him.
Maybe you're only posting on here as a vent rather than asking for advice.
And that's fine.

But nobody can solve the problem you have with your 'friend'.
Except you.

sim2335

He’s normally cool next time we speak

and have a normal conversation, is that because he retreats what’s he said or he moves on fast 

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

He’s normally cool next time we speak

and have a normal conversation, is that because he retreats what’s he said or he moves on fast 

We don't know him, sim2335.
Only you can assess what his agenda is, what his actions are.

Speaking personally, I would not have someone like that in my life. It would be too draining.

Add  as I've posted previously:
You either:

1. put up with his ways because he's a good friend despite his shortcomings
2. tell him that some of the things he says annoys you and hope he'll take it on board and change
3. cut him out of your life

sim2335

I can’t decide that’s the problem the other problem is for some reason I’m scared to stand my ground or stick to disagring with him.

im waiting for one big argument to end it all, but now I’m thinking what about few months down line.

other reason I’m able to put up with it is we don’t call much or meet much some days we speak 9k e a month other days 3-4 times a week but he won’t be annoying all time just sometimes.