We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
What's my purpose?
Options
Comments
-
@gettingtheresometime
Hope all is OK with you. It's just you haven't been back and commented on any of the replies you've received and it really sounded like you needed to chat.
I realise that you've probably got 101 things going on at the moment, but are you OK?
ETA - Even if you don't want to comment, can you at least give this post a "thanks" so we know that you're OK.How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)7 -
I feel most purposeful when I'm helping and also when I'm around children. My goal is to sort my house out so I can do respite fostering (I have a full time job and already do other volunteering)- have you thought about fostering?Statement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.phpFor free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.1
-
Sorry I haven't responded earlier - you often hear about baby brain but no one talks about widow brain ....seriously forgetting about providing meals for the recently bereaved just give them post-it notes.
Since my husband died, I've not had the usual time of a widow - he ran his own business, which whilst was a ltd company it was just him and me, so I've had to deal with the winding up of the company, as well as fighting those customers who decided for whatever reason decided to renage on paying what they effectively owed him (he was so bloody trusting there was no contracts in place), as well as dealing with his legal stuff as well as dealing with solicitors over an issue that arose out of his dad's will, so only now am I beginning to get to a point where I can grieve for him and try and rebuild my life.
Since he died I've gone out far more than I ever did - not that he stopped me but I just can't bear to be in the house. Going out is all very well and good but perhaps I just need to be needed - the situation I find myself in is a zillion times worse than empty nest syndrome.
I've made a few enquiries and I've decided to apply to join a supported living scheme - basically there are young adults who are returned to a care home setting basically because the foster parents get a lower allowance because of their age. I've spoken to the scheme coordinator at length & also the counsellor that I've been seeing about issues that have arisen about my husband's death and both don't see any issues on the surface. It's going to be a lengthy process and it may not work out but unless I try, I'll never know.
In the meantime I've volunteered to help out with an organisation that works in conjunction with local food banks, but that's only effectively twice a month.
If you don't mind I'll update this thread as I go along .......you never know it may help someone else
in the meantime, thank you all for your kindness13 -
Good to hear from you, gettingtheresomeetime. And you are getting there!Member #14 of SKI-ers club
Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.
(Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)0 -
You might want to look if there is a U3A near you, you can join walking groups and all sorts of things, glad you are getting there x0
-
Joining the supported living scheme sounds like an amazing purpose, what a wonderful thing to do xxStatement of Affairs (SOA) link: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.phpFor free, non-judgemental debt advice, try: Stepchange or National Debtline. Beware fee charging companies with similar names.0
-
Adopt animals and nurse them abck to health.0
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 351K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.6K Spending & Discounts
- 244K Work, Benefits & Business
- 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 176.9K Life & Family
- 257.3K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards