What's my purpose?

Sea_Shell

@gettingtheresometime

Hope all is OK with you.   It's just you haven't been back and commented on any of the replies you've received and it really sounded like you needed to chat.

I realise that you've probably got 101 things going on at the moment, but are you OK?


ETA - Even if you don't want to comment, can you at least give this post a "thanks" so we know that you're OK.

kimwp

I feel most purposeful when I'm helping and also when I'm around children. My goal is to sort my house out so I can do respite fostering (I have a full time job and already do other volunteering)- have you thought about fostering?

gettingtheresometime

Sorry I haven't responded earlier - you often hear about baby brain but no one talks about widow brain ....seriously forgetting about providing meals for the recently bereaved just give them post-it notes.

Since my husband died, I've not had the usual time of a widow - he ran his own business, which whilst was a ltd company it was just him and me, so I've had to deal with the winding up of the company, as well as fighting those customers who decided for whatever reason decided to renage on paying what they effectively owed him (he was so bloody trusting there was no contracts in place), as well as dealing with his legal stuff as well as dealing with solicitors over an issue that arose out of his dad's will, so only now am I beginning to get to a point where I can grieve for him and try and rebuild my life.

Since he died I've gone out far more than I ever did - not that he stopped me but I just can't bear to be in the house. Going out is all very well and good but perhaps I just need to be needed - the situation I find myself in is a zillion times worse than empty nest syndrome.

I've made a few enquiries and I've decided to apply to join a supported living scheme - basically there are young adults who are returned to a care home setting basically because the foster parents get a lower allowance because of their age. I've spoken to the scheme coordinator at length & also the counsellor that I've been seeing about issues that have arisen about my husband's death and both don't see any issues on the surface. It's going to be a lengthy process and it may not work out but unless I try, I'll never know.

In the meantime I've volunteered to help out with an organisation that works in conjunction with local food banks, but that's only effectively twice a month.

If you don't mind I'll update this thread as I go along .......you never know it may help someone else 

in the meantime, thank you all for your kindness  

pollypenny

Good to hear from you, gettingtheresomeetime. And you are getting there!  

Archergirl

You might want to look if there is a U3A near you, you can join walking groups and all sorts of things, glad you are getting there x

kimwp

Joining the supported living scheme sounds like an amazing purpose, what a wonderful thing to do xx

anotheruser

Adopt animals and nurse them abck to health.