Is it rude to pester my mother about creating a will?

Brie

I'd be less concerned about a will than not having Powers of Attorney in place.

elsien

I had to prod parent to do will and LPA although I was a lot more concerned that the LPAs got done.
She said she wanted to but just couldn’t seem to get motivated to start the process off.

So I printed off the LPA forms and suggested she spend some time thinking about what she wanted, with the reminder of recent issues with her sibling which would have been very difficult without the LPA. Then we DIYed it online after we’d talked it all through.
For the will I signed her up for one of the free wills things, and her love of getting a bargain finally got that sorted.
The will wouldn’t have made much odds because it’s a straight split between the children anyway. 

[Deleted User]

Savvy_Sue said:

Maybe a more productive response would be "that sounds a bit complicated, do you want me to help you find a solicitor to run through it with you?"

May or may not help, but my thinking is that it gets her closer to seeing a professional who can spell out what happens without a will ...

My mum is just on another planet with a lot of things. Whether it's her house, mortgage or whatever, she just makes frankly stupid decisions and speaking with her makes my brain hurt. 

gettingtheresometime

My husband would never make a will as he always thought (even though I told him to the contrary) everything would come to me.

I've just had to apply for his Letters of Administration and in fairness the process was fairly simply - obviously I can't compare to obtaining a Grant of Probate but it didn't seem that complicated. I was also advised that a deed of variation to over ride the rules of intestacy could be done so if your mum did die without a will, theoretically her wishes could adhered to but obviously this needs the agreement of those beneficiaries who would be affected.

Thinking about it though  had he survived his heart attack, given the length of time they tried to resuscitate him, he would have been mentally impaired and that would have caused a whole new level of problems for me. 

Personally I'd start with the LPA ...you never know it might give her food for thought.

Keep_pedalling

Deleted_User said:

Spoke to her about it today and she's just being nonsensical. Says she wants things to go to her grandchildren and special requirements around them getting good grades etc. before any payout. Told her for that to happen she needs to make a will. She then says she doesn't....

I just left it... 

Thanks for the responses guys. 

Probably it’s better to have no will than a will with ridiculous clauses in it, so time to let it go.

Spendless

Deleted_User said:

Spoke to her about it today and she's just being nonsensical. Says she wants things to go to her grandchildren and special requirements around them getting good grades etc. before any payout. Told her for that to happen she needs to make a will. She then says she doesn't....

I just left it... 

Thanks for the responses guys. 

That could be incredibly unfair. My eldest got good grades without doing any revision. My youngest had 3 schools in yr11 and weeks with no education because her MH took a severe knocking over widespread bullying that was going on that she kept from us, causing suicidal ideation and suffering to this day (at almost 19) with PTSD. The school moves meant dropping her strongest subjects, different exams boards and syllabus to learn.  She overcame a lot more difficulties than her brother did to not have as many or as  good results, so I concur with the above, you might be better of leaving her not having a will. 

Grumpy_chap

Deleted_User said:

Says she wants things to go to her grandchildren and special requirements around them getting good grades etc. before any payout. 

While you are absolutely correct about wishes of that nature needing a will to be in place, I would not want to be the Executor of such a will.  Just far too many things to make it all far too complicated.

Malthusian

Deleted_User said:

Spoke to her about it today and she's just being nonsensical. Says she wants things to go to her grandchildren and special requirements around them getting good grades etc. before any payout. Told her for that to happen she needs to make a will. She then says she doesn't....

It wouldn't happen with a Will either. Not from her perspective anyway. Those kinds of clauses are unenforceable.

Best case scenario is that a solicitor would talk her out of it, worst case is that she might end up with some sort of expensive, complicated and tax-inefficient discretionary trust. The trustees might distribute the estate along those lines but equally might not.

I agree with the posters above, a Will achieves very little (as she seems to be generally happy with intestacy) and could make things worse. Time to leave her to her own affairs.