My fate is sealed

Hastingslass

Thank you everyone. It has been hard and I’m normally a half full glass type of person, but this has resonated really badly today and I’ve tonight put my thoughts in writing to senior management and advised them I’d like to raise a grievance. It’s not really what I want to do right now with so 
much else going on but Im not going to be treated like this any longer. I’ve suffered enough abuse else where in my life. On the plus side I moved to be closer to my grandchildren and this weekend I’m looking after them Saturday night. My daughter and son in law are fabulous and have got me a voucher for a local spa as a thank you. I feel blessed to have them in my life more now but really have to say no to any more presents. I’ll look after my grandchildren whenever I can without gifts. 

flyingscotsman67

well done on some big lifechanging and brave steps- wow!! I understand the hurt at being left out of the email at work and it sounds as though there have been previous incidents, it might be valuable to consider what you want as an outcome from senior management- chances are you can seek that outcome without the pressure of a formal grievance. It is perfectly reasonable for you to share the examples where you have felt excluded and for you to ask for steps to be taken to ensure they don't happen again and that you are respected and valued as an individual, without the need for you to go through a formal grievance. You may also ask for a review period for you/senior managers to temperature check that progress is being made. If that fails then certainly a more formal route may be the next step. Good luck!

Scott_Weiland79

Hastingslass said:

Today has been a total p*** take at work. My teams manager who forgets about me constantly is off sick. Anyway the manager of the manager called a meeting to discuss who would be managing us, but didn’t send me an invite to the meeting.. to say I’m upset is an understatement but hey ho I went out for a walk and coming home the fruit and veg shop had daffodils in their window do having made £2.30 on surveys this morning I spent a pound on them to cheer me up , so have only managed to send £1.30 to my EF today. The daffodils 🌼 are currently on my desk till I finish work then I’ll put them in the living room. Today should’ve been a no spend day but never mind the daffodils are lovely ( I don’t have a vase do they’re in a pint glass) vases are not on my essential list but then again neither are daffodils… 
dinner tonight is shepherds pie and I’ll be putting 2 portions in the freezer one for dinner tomorrow. I’m thinking I’ll only need to cook one in 3 weeks if I keep this up 

Which survey sites are you using???

Hastingslass

I’m using QMEE and Curious Cat 

Hastingslass

Today Has been a good day. Had a meeting with my senior manager and out my points forward to her and got a huge apology. I’ve also had a nsd - no buying of daffodils…
Im wondering what to do with what my £800 I can afford to pay off my debts. My DMP is not yet set up but I’m thinking I could make an overpayment on my DMP when it is or do I keep it and put it in my EF( I’ve only got £46.35 in this at present and my MOT is due in April) I’m thinking if it should be set up by my next pay date. I just want to start paying my debt (which is more than double I knew about- my other half took loans out in my name … why oh why was I so stupid and not check my credit file till 2 months ago… he now refuses to pay anything towards them and to be quite honest I don’t want to speak with him). I’ve spoken with a solicitor today and I’m going to divorce him.  I’ve set up a payment plan with the solicitor so I have to try and make some extra money I’ve taken a few more hours on at work a week. Never thought at my age I’d be working more hours. We do own a house together so hopefully it’ll be split 50-50. 

mumtoomany

Hi @Hastingslass, first well done for getting out. Second glad you've sorted out work and got an apology. Third the £800. I'm sure most people on here would say to put it into your emergency fund. You never know what might be round the corner. The people you owe money to don't need it as much as you might.
Hugs, mumtoomany.xx

LadyGnome

Hastingslass  have you taken some advice about the loans taken out in your name? The lenders have a duty to do proper due diligence e.g. ID checks etc to confirm who they are dealing with.  How can they have done that if you didn't take out the loan? I would push back if you can and tell them you have been a victim of identity theft and they need to demonstrate how they satisfied themselves that it was you taking out the loan.  For example, was the money paid into an account in your ex's name?

Apologies if you have already done this but I didn't want you picking up debts that you may be quite justified in pushing back to the lender as their problem.

Four_Seasons

Hi Hastingslass you are doing so well, keep the £800 as a safety blanket, when things are a little more sorted you can always pay it off debt then.  look after yourself x

Hastingslass

LadyGnome said:

Hastingslass  have you taken some advice about the loans taken out in your name? The lenders have a duty to do proper due diligence e.g. ID checks etc to confirm who they are dealing with.  How can they have done that if you didn't take out the loan? I would push back if you can and tell them you have been a victim of identity theft and they need to demonstrate how they satisfied themselves that it was you taking out the loan.  For example, was the money paid into an account in your ex's name?

Apologies if you have already done this but I didn't want you picking up debts that you may be quite justified in pushing back to the lender as their problem.

Hi LadyGnome, 

yes I have checked it out unfortunately they were paid into a joint account we hadn’t used in years but hey ho Karma will prevail 

badmemory

Have you put a notification on land registry in case he takes out a further mortgage?  Also who signed for the other loans?