My dad passed suddenly, I would be ever so grateful if anyone can help with any advice



  • katies_mumkaties_mum Forumite
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    Thank you all again for taking the time to offer your advice and help.

    I have seen that many of you have suffered a loss, please accept my sincere sympathies.

    I missed a call from the Registrar earlier but she has just rung to say she will ring back at 1.30 to go through everything, I am aware that the Death certificates are posted out, any idea how long they take?

    Mum and dad have discount on their council tax, so I do need to speak to someone about this as I am hoping it might continue plus even a little bit more.  I`m thinking I need to wait a few days for the `Tell us once` service to send the information through?  its hard isn`t it when you have not done anything like this before knowing when you need to speak to organisations.  Also I think a water meter might be a good idea, water rates are about £70 a month.

    Thank you, Martin Lewis mentioned `` on his show last night, I hadn`t heard of it before, so will definitely take a look.

    I have a notebook and lots of pens. 

    Dad had an old car which we have decided to scrap as too old to sell.  The Tell us once advises the DVLA doesn`t it?  then suppose we would just speak to the insurance.

    I am sure everything will start to fall into place soon, it just seems to be such a huge to do list at the moment

    BooJewels, thank you,  after everything I have read I am thinking that I might not need letters of administration, seems a good suggestion of yours to wait and see if anyone asks for them...Glad to know about Santander.

    Once again thank you all xx

  • BooJewelsBooJewels Forumite
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    Just a couple of quick answers - I got the DCs the morning after I did the call - she said it would take a day or two, but they couldn't have been any faster.   

    You actually get a code in with the registration papers that you then use on-line with the Tell Us Once service, so one leads into the other - and yes DVLA is one of the parties informed.  Not sure what they actually do from there as I never heard from them about either of the two I did.  

    If the car is parked off-road, you could maybe SORN it (Off Road) until it's gone - and amend the insurance accordingly.  I think you'll still need what they call 'laid up' insurance for a car not actually being driven.  Or if it's going soon enough, might not be even worth that effort.  Even if you think it's old, it might still have a resale value privately, if you can be bothered.

    It seems like an unsurmountable list at the moment, but once you start making calls, you'll find yourself waiting for forms to arrive or things to be done by others, so it starts spreading out after an initial flurry of activity.  Start the ball rolling by making the initial calls, then deal with items as they appear in the post or things crop up.
  • KxMxKxMx Forumite
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    Time for arrival of death certificates will vary, when Mum & I sorted things after Nan died they didn't arrive for 5 working days.
  • SuffolksueSuffolksue Forumite
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    When my DH died last April,all the DDs set up our joint accounts continued as before.
    I checked with both banks ( Lloyds and Nationwide ) and they both said this ,they both changed the accounts to just me straightaway.
    when I think about it we both had to sign the DD forms when we set them up
  • BrieBrie Forumite
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    Oh dear - sorry for your loss, it's always a shock no matter what.

    A couple of small suggestions to add to all the good advice already given.

    re the pension all with the same company.  Don't assume that different departments talk to each other.  I've got 3 work pensions with 1 administrator and it's like having to contact 3 separate planets.  It's unlikely they will pass any info or a DC around to a colleague working on a different line of their business.

    Council tax - your mom should be eligible for a single discount if nothing else.  You said it was already has a discount so it might be good to understand why as this may effect things in the future.  

    Do you have carers attending?  They will need notice if you intend to cancel their services otherwise you are likely to still be charged.  

    The DVLA will need to be told who will own the car.  As I understand it they will consider it still to be your dad's (or at least in his estate) until ownership is transferred.  SORN it if that makes it easy but might be best to sell it outright.  Take a look on Autotrader for the same make/model/year to get an idea of the price.  If you want rid quickly or it's in really rough shape you could just try a local second hand place to see if they are interested in it - we got rid of one basically for parts when a vehicle was beyond repair.  If you don't know any local second hand car places you might try a local dealership for the make - they might be able to put you on to someone.  

    Do keep the car insured until you are rid of it and then inform the insurance it has been sold.  Don't assume you will get a refund for the unused portion of the insurance year (unlikely or minimal) but mostly you don't want it to automatically renew. 

    Does your mom have a best friend or tight community or church?  Might be good to contact a couple of friends so that they know and so that they can provide some comfort to your mom as well as enable you to have a break.  It's amazing how people will rally around in times of need.

    Other than that, as someone said - take a breath.  And try to stay strong.
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
  • SuffolksueSuffolksue Forumite
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    Should have given my condolences,sorry.
    The most difficult people I had to deal with were Premium Bonds ,they were awful 
  • katies_mumkaties_mum Forumite
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    Thank you all.  I have just got back from collecting the Death Certificates, I asked the Registrar earlier and she said it was ok, feel better now I have them rather than waiting for the postman. I feel shattered today so am going to switch off for tonight, I`ll read all your advice tomorrow.  Thanks again, I hope you all have a good evening xx
  • anna42hmranna42hmr Forumite
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    Sorry for your loss.  As someone whom has had to settle the estate of my father last year as mum wasn’t up to it at that time I appreciate how hard this time is. There has been some great advice given on here but one thing I would say is don’t do what I tried to at start and do too much in one go as it takes a lot out of you.  Instead in the end I wrote a to do list of what needed to be done in orders of priory and did a few at a time.  I also did a sheet listing when each certificate was sent off and to whom as a track of where each was at any time and whom to chase if not received.

    also as well as the tell us once service I also found these useful works with some financial instructions as a sort of tell us once 
    MFW # 105
    2015 Overpaid £8095 / 2016 Overpaid £6983.24 / 2017 Overpaid £3583.12 / 2018 Overpaid £2583.12 / 2019 Overpaid £2583.12 / 2020 Overpaid £2583.12/ 2021 overpaid £1506.82

    2022 Target 2500 / OP YTD £1487.64 OP as at June

    Total OP since mortgage started in 2015 = £29,405.18
  • edited 23 January at 2:40PM
    GersGers Forumite
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    edited 23 January at 2:40PM
    I`m thinking I need to wait a few days for the `Tell us once` service to send the information through?  its hard isn`t it when you have not done anything like this before knowing when you need to speak to organisations. 

    Nothing comes through from the 'Tell us Once' service, though you'll find that a trickle of documents will come from the various organisations which are informed by it.  For me it was DWP (SP & AA), HMRC (income tax) the city council (council tax) and so on.  I had to make contact with her private USS pension etc. 

    I too used a little notebook to write down every thing I did and everyone I contacted about my DMs death last year.  British Gas, BT, her bank, the company which serviced the boiler and so on. Even the death notice.  NS&I were very good with me though (as I've said before here) probably because I was already using the POA with her online account, BG were helpful though a tad confusing at first though getting the bank details changed to mine was easy enough, same with the payments for BT.

    Make sure that you record every penny you spend as Executor as this can be reclaimed from the estate.  For that I used a spreadsheet.  Refunds came in from HMRC and demands for repayment from DWP for a portion of SP.  Again, keep records.

    I was the only beneficiary but still wanted to keep detailed records, not only to make sure I knew exactly what was what but just in case anyone asked.  No-one has!

    Good luck in this task, it's not easy especially with emotions running high.
  • katies_mumkaties_mum Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    You have all been so kind with sharing advice, thank you

    I have dads council tax demand but it doesn`t tell me what the reductions are for.  I think I am going to have to ring and speak to someone on mums behalf (might anyone have an idea what the reductions could be for?)
    Charge for period            2042.29
    Council Tax Reduction       -77.05
    Council Tax Reduction   -1426.50            property band D        balance  £538.94

    Thank you for the advice about the car, my brother is hoping to sell it quickly maybe for scrap.  Its an X reg Corsa.  If this is the case would I still need to use the Tell us Once Service, or just fill out the vehicle document we have here?

    I am assuming there will be a few weeks overpayment of Dad`s pension from the DWP,  will they just reclaim this from the bank or will we physically have to sort out a refund?  grateful for any advice if anyone can advise.

    I have list of all the companies that need to be contacted, and following everyone's brilliant advice will do this bit at a time.  In your experience please are the main ones to contact first   -  bank,  life insurance,   private pensions  and at the same time would you also use the Tell us Once Service  ( but not sure about this because of the council tax and vehicle)  I don`t want to make things complicated for myself.

    Thank you xx

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