Divorce stress

pinkshoes

consumers_revenge said:

I wont go down the mentioning of chemtrails in the sky conspiracies controlling us sheep or that covid was a gov plan that shes all into (which has led to her falling out with many friends and even her own family), kids cant have flouride toothpaste as it contains dangerous chemicals, hair shampoo, antibacterial handwash too etc etc. everynight on these sites on her mobile. 

It sounds to me like your wife has MH issues. This would tie with suddenly wanting a divorce and not even wanting to try counselling. She had probably reading something that told her that she would get the house and custody and not have to work whilst you would just have to move out.

As you WFH, then I would stay put for now. I assume you are sleeping in another room?? It would make far more sense for you to be resident parent and for her to move out. 

I would be putting in writing to your wife that now she has decided you are no longer a couple and she is not willing to get any form of couples counselling, then she needs to be paying a contribution towards the kids and house. If your youngest is 8, then there is no reason why she cannot get a job. Schools are desperate for TAs etc... at the moment! Many companies need employees! I would state that in a months time you are expecting her to be paying a fair share of all household bills. Perhaps even go as far as stating that if she is unwilling to provide for her family, then you will be seeking custody of the children. I would perhaps even suggest that if she feels unable to seek employment due to her mental health, then she needs to take steps towards dealing with her MH issues, and you are happy to assist financially with this. (After all, you need the mother of your children to be of sound mind...)

Good luck! 

consumers_revenge

I'm trying to avoid telling my solicitor that I think shes lost it to be honest.

As I can now WFH I will as I was able to go back full time but she gets very dour faced when I suddenly come home which I think I will do more and more now otherwise she gets 40 hours in the house without me around so its like living by herself in the house anyway.

Shes never shown any interest in returning to work even when things were tight (and I would have wanted a job just to get some social life if I was in hers shoes, but thats me). Funny i recall at the time my first got school age she got pregnant again but did want another before that.

consumers_revenge

Finally shes actually gone into the roof as shes 'looking for things that would look good in the new house' she described to the kids.

But wouldnt say anything more.

TBagpuss

You haven't said what stage the divorce has reached.

However:

If the divorce has reached Decree Nisi, then it's normal not to finalise it until financial issues have been resolved. Either you or she can make an application to the court to resolve the finances, and the court will then set deadlines for financial disclosure etc.

If the divorce has not reached that point, then there is nothing to stop you issuing your own petition. You will have to include on the form the fact that there is an existing petition but there is nothing to prevent two 'cross petitions' existing at the same time. Most likely, if you do this, then either she will proceed with hers so that she can still say that she divorced you, or she will not, in which case your petition can go through. 

You can issue proceedings on he financial side of things as soon as the divorce is issued, although the court can't make a final order until the decree nisi is granted.

Talk to your solicitor, it may be that the way forward it for them to ask her solicitor to confirm that she has applied for the decree nisi and to give them notice that you will be issuing a cross petition of they are unable to confirm that that has been done.

Are you sure that she has actually issued proceedings? Did you get a petition from the court, and have you filled in and returned your acknowledgment? 

SeniorSam

You may be aware that the new divorce laws came into effect earlier this month. As such you may be able to apply again and also agree a financial settlement to include support for children.

It sounds like your initial solicitor is not giving you the support you deserve. He should have notified you about the new changes, has he done so? How will the affect your own position?